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social anxiety keeping me from talking to a really cute girl

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PsychedelicMess

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 14, 2013
Messages
11
so yesterday i went to a party and had a gram of really high quality mdma. when i got in alot of girls came up asking for some so i gave out a few. one of the girls i gave it to was really really cute. but i didnt talk to her that much that night because of me having social anxiety(self diagnosed). well the girl ended up getting my number but only because she wanted to get more molly . so today i feel regretful for not talking to this girl at the party and im not sure if i should text her or not since the reason i have the number if just for the molly. what do you guys think would it be weird for me to randomly text her even tho i didnt say much at the party. and what would you guys say to start the conversation in this situation.

P.S. this is my first post here on blue light. but im a long time reader of the forums.

thanks in advance.
 
Do you want the answer that fits best reality, or do you want the answer that fits best your current thoughts and feelings?

... Either way, I will go for the first. Don't do it.

so today i feel regretful for not talking to this girl at the party and im not sure if i should text her or not since the reason i have the number if just for the molly

well the girl ended up getting my number but only because she wanted to get more molly
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On the other hand, there is nothing wrong talking to her again the next time you see her at a party. I know this might be more complicated for you (due to social anxiety), but believe me... the easy way (sending a text message) will not be the succesful way (which is probably the way you want to go...)

Just try to talk to her. Don't think about the whole conversation but only about the first word (and I will even help you with this: just say "hi"). The rest will follow naturally as you will see. It's really not that scary. Girls don't bite (and if they do: consider it a bonus ;)).

Best of luck !
 
Unfortunately, yes. I wouldn't bring up non-molly related topics in a random message you initiate.

If she texts you for molly, you can maybe reply with "maybe see you at party X at time Y." Or when she comes to your place to buy the molly you can start up a nice conversation.
 
PsychedelicMess said:
because im not exactly even sure if ill see her at another party.
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Psyduck said:
Do you want the answer that fits best reality, or do you want the answer that fits best your current thoughts and feelings?
Click to expand...


------
Trust my advice... I know the feeling... everybody knows the feeling when they regret something and want to (over)compensate it the next day. Mostly, it doesn't work out well.

In particular, I highly doubt if the current situation will go smooth. If you don't see her again, it's not the end of the world, right? Next time try talking to another girl on some party. Each time it will go easier and someday you will be lucky :).
 
Did she give any indication she was interested in you besides the drugs? I don't think texting her would necessarily be a bad thing if the signs were there.
 
hmm its difficult to tell

one thing is for sure, girls will flirt with dealers to get free/cheaper drugs (one of my more attractive female friends was very good at this)

the number thing is incidental but if there was eye contact and such like chemistry then that is different
 
I disagree with what some of the previous posters have said....I think that it would be absolutely, 100% okay to text her in a context separate from the mention of drugs.

Pretend for a moment that you do not have social anxiety. I will use myself as an example as I am very outgoing and social...if I meet someone at a party, even briefly, and give them my number I would be pleased if they contacted me. I would not give them my information in the first place if they gave me a weirdo vibe, even if they had drugs to offer.

What is the very worst thing that could happen? She could say no thank you, never call me again? If that happened you would be right back to where you are right now...no harm, no foul.

Or, she could say, sure, I would love to hang out and you will have made a new friend and possibly more.

Text her or give her a call....you really have absolutely nothing to lose.
 
Psyduck said:
If she texts you for molly, you can maybe reply with "maybe see you at party X at time Y." Or when she comes to your place to buy the molly you can start up a nice conversation.
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This is probably what I'd recommend. Maybe something along the lines of, "Hey. I wondered if you were going to so and so's next week."
She would probably interpret it as you asking if she'd want some molecule if she's going.
From there you could potentially segue into, "Would you have any interest in heading over together?" or, at least, "Would you wanna chill for a bit, while we're there?"

IMO, guiding the text conversation in that direction isn't unacceptable or inappropriate. I dunno if you'll get the answers you'd like to get, but no one can tell about that. If you've gotta find out about how she feels about you, whether it's just about the molly, you're gonna have to risk your feelings. At least to a degree.
Being rejected by a girl isn't the worst thing in the world. It's not fun, but either way, you will live. Either way, you'll know.

In giving this advice, I'm not disregarding your social anxiety. I used to have the same issues. To the point where I needed to be medicated for a while.
I would tend to say that texting may be easier, smoother going then trying to approach her at the next party or actually calling her and feeling her out.
I don't mean that to be offensive. I'm just trying to think of what might be most comfortable for you and at the same time get you the answer(s) you desire.
 
95Land said:
IMO, guiding the text conversation in that direction isn't unacceptable or inappropriate.
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That was my perspective too: when texting to someone you barely talked to at the party, and who only made an obvious interest to buy molly... there has to come some point you have to make a clear statement of interest. I think it's impossible to do this smoothly by hiding behind your phone... It's better to gradually get to know each other; and then make a blunt statement of interest.

I know you probably feel it's much easier to text her. But this probably won't work to your advantage. The best way is probably to meet her again casually (e.g. common party) and then talk to her and get to know her.
 
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pofacedhoe said:
one thing is for sure, girls will flirt with dealers to get free/cheaper drugs (one of my more attractive female friends was very good at this)
Click to expand...

Yeah you gotta watch out for this. I flirted outrageously with my dealer for months because it got me free heroin/cheaper coke half the time, even though I never intended for anything to actually happen between us :\
So it might be a bit delicate to know what she's really thinking. Regardless though, I think it would be perfectly fine for you to just text her 'hey' and start up a conversation. It's friendly, not weird. The best situation though, would be if you just start chatting next time she wants to buy molly from you. See how it goes!
 
well i did smoke a few bowls in her friends car and she was there but she didnt smoke and eye contact was made very few times across the room?
btw in the car is when they got my number for the molly.
 
i dont get why anybodys saying it would be weird to text her.

and who knows maybe she liked you and since youre shy she used the molly as an excuse to exchange numbers and shes hoping to hear from you.
probably not but youve got nothing to lose.
do it.
 
If you're actually interested I wouldn't sell her drugs more than a few times, I always feel selling drugs to romantic interests is always weird.
 
PsychedelicMess said:
well i did smoke a few bowls in her friends car and she was there but she didnt smoke and eye contact was made very few times across the room?
btw in the car is when they got my number for the molly.
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Smoking bud always took my SA from a 60 to about a 90, while I was attending parties.
I used to force myself to do it, to "fit in." Then I'd die a slow death until my head cleared.
The aftereffects of MDMA, that fried feeling, used to make me near mute, too.

Be careful with the narco's. I always viewed them as friends in my battle against SA, but in retrospect, they did more bad then good. Except for benzos. But, that was a script. Klonopin worked wonders.
Good luck, man.
 
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