I am almost 30 days (23 to be exact) clean from a nasty opiate habit. I quit cold turkey with no help, just moral support. Minus body aches, I'm basically past all of the physical withdrawal symptoms. But I am FUCKED mentally. I was depressed with extreme anxiety before, but this is a whole new beast. I'm on depression medicine and anxiety medicine.. but I still have this horrible, horrible feeling inside. I'm sad. I'm pissed off. I want to use. I feel like I have no purpose. Etc. Etc. Etc. It comes and goes, but is dominant in my life.. especially at night. I DON'T want to relapse, but my mind is telling me it's the only thing that will help. I know an adjustment of my medications may be the answer but obviously that isn't what my mind is telling me. Help.. How long will this last? What can I do? I feel like my family is getting tired of me; I heard my sister make a nasty "she's always so pissed off" comment yesterday. I'm just.. Sigh..
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