Sorry for the delay...
Anyways, About 10 mins before I posted this, I was just going about my normal day BLing-in' around and my mom walks up to me and asks me what it is i'm lookin at "Is that Kmart or something." I was just looking at some lounge posts, so I tell her it's just a forum where people post about random topics.
Little did I know she already knew what it was... somehow she found out about me posting on this board. I probably left the url in the pull-down address bar. I usually delete this stuff, and all other traces of things because I hate the buildup, but occasionally I forget.
So... then she asks if there was anything I wanted to tell her, and I said "umm, probably not." At this point I already knew that she had found out about something that I didn't want her knowing. "Do you do drugs?," she asks. "Maybe," I said. [Etc. Etc. more dead end questions.]
Then she brings out this bag of goodies that she had found in my room the other day after doing a search because of whatever she found out on here.
There wasn't really a lot of "drugs" in the bag but more paraphernalia than anything. Some random goodies included:
- 1 broken e pill
- 1 small baggie of some flour or some other bunk stuff sold to me as k from the other night
- numerous other empty baggies i had on hand
- 2 rigs that i had taken off of someone's hands so they didn't have to take em into a party
- 1 empty vial of K that i had kept for a while
- prolly some other stuff, but i didn't get to see, she threw it all away
I had to explain to her what each things was and why i had it. The vial of k i said i just kept it for no reason, just kinda collected it. The rigs i never used, ever, and never would, i was just fuckin around with em one day. (These were also rigs from when i used to give myself shots years ago ...past medical shit, some of you may know about).
The E I tried to explain to her that that I'm very safe when using it, i take all pre- & post- measures possible. I also informed her about what I do for bluelight, and pillreports. And tried informing her a little bit more about the drug. She really didn't wanna hear it.
She never wants to hear anything I have to say, my way is always wrong. And of course I knew this was what she would think, so there was no use in me argueing or trying to inform her anymore.
She hasn't told my dad, because she thinks he has a lot on his mind right now and doesn't need to know i'm a fuck-up (in her opinion this is what he'll think, she's prolly right about that too).
But basically, It's never to be in my house, my car. If she ever finds anything again, i'll be kicked out. If I get locked up for anything, i'll stay locked up. She asked if i wanted to see a psychiatrist, and I told her there was no reason. I apply moderation to anything and everything I do, i'm not depressed as I once was, I only do the things I do for a little entertainment every now and then.
She walks off, and we don't speak for 20-30 minutes, and I make this post. She comes back gives me a hug and sais she loves me, etc. and she just wants me to be safe... and I tell her that's all i'll ever be.
Haven't said a word on the subject since...