• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Recovery So I am quitting methamphetamine, and BDO. This is going to be fun.

theangryflower

theangryflower

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 31, 2025
Messages
104
So after a two month bender on BDO and methamphetamine, I have decided that I just no longer want to continue on like this. It's not that I really lost control or anything like that because I'm pretty good at managing both of these addictions when I participate in them. What was my wake up call was that when I did decide to stop the BDO my blood pressure shot through the freaking roof and I thought I was going to have a stroke. I had to get back on my blood pressure medicine which really sucks because I was managing it just fine, but I'll go back to that eventually I hate this time of year because I live in Alabama and it's so hot outside. I can't go on walks, which is my preferred way of exercise. I start college on August 19 to pursue a biology degree hopefully with a chemistry minor. Anyways, that is what I'm setting my thoughts on. That is like my biggest life goal and I put it off for a very very long time. I'm not gonna see how old I am but you know I'm old enough to where I should've already done this. After six years of a very miserable marriage, I just decided that if I don't start giving myself the life that I feel like I deserve no one else can. And after multiple attempts to salvage my marriage, despite my husband, abusing me on multiple occasions are really constantly if we are talking in regards to emotional abuse I realize that there's no way to move past those types of things. And no matter how forgiving I am, I can't move past it. So I packed my things up and I'm staying with my brother temporarily. But this is a positive post actually because I know that after a few days of some good sleep and good eating I'm going to be fine actually better than fine. Last night when I was feeling tempted, I took a drive around the area where I'm going to be going to school at just to check it out again. And honestly, that's what I'm gonna do every single time I think about using.
 
Hello.
Quitting meth is really good decision. I now hate it cause of how toxic it is and people using it are somehow more crazy lately...But i have to deal with serious tiredness...Meth is not worth it...move on in your life
 
All the best in your recovery. If you need to vent here or need any advice just reach out :)
 
WellTram said:
Hello.
Quitting meth is really good decision. I now hate it cause of how toxic it is and people using it are somehow more crazy lately...But i have to deal with serious tiredness...Meth is not worth it...move on in your life
Click to expand...
I agree about the extra crazy. That's why I am getting sober. But maaaaan the depression the first week SUCKS
 
So true with anything and the meth. Some times it can be easier for others and they can just stop like it

is just incidental. Maybe they get motivated by something else and have a healthier lifestyle. Make yourself

the one to have that success to tell about. You don't want to have to be controlled by a substance that can be detrimental

for sure.
 
Girl I just wanna say that I really admire your ability to recognize the red flags and understand that somethings gotta change. You’re right! It’s time to anny up because your future is on the line. It’s not our choices that determine our future as much as it’s the habits we develop along the way.

Its time to decide what you really want out of life and go for it. Figure out what’s really important to you and commit to it. Determine what really makes you happy and then figure out how to make a living doing it. Because a job doesn’t just pay your bills. It rents your life. Anything else is just a welcomed guest or a freeloader. It’s really helps to be able to make that distinction because the people that you allow around you can influence the quality of your life. You become who you surround yourself with. Life exists on limited acreage and it’s shrinking with each passing second. You seem like a very smart woman with a good head on your shoulders. Sounds like you know what you’re doing and you’re making the right decisions. You already have everything it takes. It’s already inside you. You just have to apply it. It's more than enough. You just have to trust in it. Have faith in yourself

This can still be about anything.

And you’re right….if you don't start giving yourself the life that you deserve no one else will. I’ve just recently realized this myself. No one is coming to save you. If you don’t make the sacrifices for what you want in life….what you want becomes the sacrifice. The man on top of the highest mountain didn’t just fall there. You don’t drown just by falling in the waters. You drown if you stay there. But you can do this!! Actually you are doing it!! The only difference between who you are right now and who you want to be is what you do from now on until then.

I know it feels rough right now. But it wont be this way forever. You’re a very smart girl and have already accomplished the most important part just by making the kinda of decisions that you have! But it does help to understand why this is happening so you can take the necessary steps that will help you get thru it.

You’ve exhausted the reward system in your brain. It’s depleted your dopamine baseline. That’s why it can feel so hopeless. It does take time to heal. But look up info about ways to replenish and regulate your reward system. If you want more advice about this pm me and I can fix you a list of things you can do to help fuel this faster. Just keep yourself hydrated. Creating a scheduled routine really helps cause of the structure it creates for you. Sleep quality is vital. But you can do this!! The fact that you recognized the red flags speaks volumes.

I’m here anytime you need advice…a boost of confidence or just someone to talk to . I’m on your side and will be cheering you on!
 
Oh I didn't quote it and now it's all ruined. Out of sequence. I have to fumble with the quotes at times sometimes.

So This.

SinfulbyNature said:
Thank you for thanking me and for being YOU❤️
Click to expand...

K. I love that quote now !! Heart heart too too.
 
streaM Freak said:
@theangryflower - how have you been?
Click to expand...
Things have been steadily getting better. Being separated has its moments where it breaks me into pieces- but honestly, I’ve done much of the grieving over that while it was happening.

Quitting wasn’t so bad- I honestly think Tyrosine, NAD+, NAC, collagen, omega fatty acids and my slow taper down before I finally called it quits helped immensely. I am still struggling with cravings. But staying away from my home town for school is helping with that too! Thank you for asking. How are you?
 
theangryflower said:
Things have been steadily getting better. Being separated has its moments where it breaks me into pieces- but honestly, I’ve done much of the grieving over that while it was happening.

Quitting wasn’t so bad- I honestly think Tyrosine, NAD+, NAC, collagen, omega fatty acids and my slow taper down before I finally called it quits helped immensely. I am still struggling with cravings. But staying away from my home town for school is helping with that too! Thank you for asking. How are you?
Click to expand...

That's really good to hear.. how well does that stack work for tapering off, you've heard about it from somewhere?

You're at a point in your life with huge transitions so you made a really smart move - make sure you stay busy and choose your friends wisely.

I am doing well, trying to stay appreciative of the things i took for granted when high all the time. Feeling in better control of my thoughts and emotions, and building up good things as opposed to submitting to that more more more mindset.
 
WellTram said:
Hello.
Quitting meth is really good decision. I now hate it cause of how toxic it is and people using it are somehow more crazy lately...But i have to deal with serious tiredness...Meth is not worth it...move on in your life
Click to expand...
Indeed, meth-amphetamine is a very self limiting addiction, it's very quickly clear that it is absolutely not something worth taking at all. After attempting numerous experiments to find a use for it, the only thing I discovered that it was useful for keeping you awake and wanting more. Once the acute effects of wanting it are gone, it's easy to see that

1. You're not any better on it, in fact you perform worse in many ways.
2. Thoughts begin to revolve around its use the more you use it.
3. Life while NOT being on it is in every way better.

It's more difficult if you smoke and even more so if you inject.

The only time I have seen people just continue using was when they didn't care if they lived or died.

Someone I know was smoking around 4g a week, he fell in love and quit pretty much straight away, it was about 6 months before he was back to normal.

Like any addiction, it's an insidious and slow process, one that if you lie to yourself if you are addicted, will get worse.
 
Leprechaun said:
Indeed, meth-amphetamine is a very self limiting addiction, it's very quickly clear that it is absolutely not something worth taking at all. After attempting numerous experiments to find a use for it, the only thing I discovered that it was useful for keeping you awake and wanting more. Once the acute effects of wanting it are gone, it's easy to see that

1. You're not any better on it, in fact you perform worse in many ways.
2. Thoughts begin to revolve around its use the more you use it.
3. Life while NOT being on it is in every way better.

It's more difficult if you smoke and even more so if you inject.

The only time I have seen people just continue using was when they didn't care if they lived or died.

Someone I know was smoking around 4g a week, he fell in love and quit pretty much straight away, it was about 6 months before he was back to normal.

Like any addiction, it's an insidious and slow process, one that if you lie to yourself if you are addicted, will get worse.
Click to expand...
Yes....After long time i received 3 points as a gift. Ok, litttle bit of music, little bit of spending time outside, night filled with being horny and absolutely unable to even close my eyeas and shut my brain activity down...
This is next night and i still cant sleep and i even took my tizanidine and dihydrocodeine.
It's boring and it damages your body after every single dose.
 
Hey girl, I saw one of your posts earlier and I am so happy to read that you’re in a better place! If you ever need support or somebody to talk to, holla at me. Super proud of you. It’s not easy leaving an abusive relationship and staying away. Especially while getting sober. Mad props. You got this 💕💪🏻
 
WellTram said:
Yes....After long time i received 3 points as a gift. Ok, litttle bit of music, little bit of spending time outside, night filled with being horny and absolutely unable to even close my eyeas and shut my brain activity down...
This is next night and i still cant sleep and i even took my tizanidine and dihydrocodeine.
It's boring and it damages your body after every single dose.
Click to expand...
Wow. 300mg, if you had that all in one sitting without tolerance you're really dicing with psychosis. 100mg is an absolute maximum. Glad you had downers to calm you down.

I never took more than 50mg in any one sitting and always took it orally.

The worst thing was the lack of sleep, even at 20mg, if I had it after 9am, I would need diazepam or etizolam to sleep, then the next day I would need 10mg-20mg to get started.

I stopped using after the following:

1. I would setup rules around use. no more than 15mg and not after 9am, but then even though tried to control my use, I would find excuses and break those rules and found myself using more.
2. Would never use more than one day in a row, but I started to use up to 3 days in a row.
3. Other people noticed I was under the effect of something.
4. My fitness began dropping as I rebound gorged on food. (3 days decreased appetite then 3 days increased).
5. I found myself looking for crumbs for a few hours after I decided to throw my last 250mg away. This was the biggest factor in me realizing I was slowly becoming addicted.

Thankfully, like I said, meth is a self limiting addiction in 90% of cases, where the ACUTE negative effects are so strong you know that there is no benefit in using it.

Since you don't sleep as well, your impulse control is decreased, so day 2 then day 3 become more difficult to say no to. After recovering from what ever use you had and look back, it's easy to see that what was going on was no good.

These days I stick with Caffeine and Phenylpiracetam. Although I use them too often sometimes, I don't get nights of missed sleep, and I do not go searching for crumbs when they run out...Far more manageable addiction.

Though, quitting caffeine in my opinion is more difficult than quitting methamphetamine, simply because it's not as acutely negative in its effects.
 
Leprechaun said:
Indeed, meth-amphetamine is a very self limiting addiction, it's very quickly clear that it is absolutely not something worth taking at all. After attempting numerous experiments to find a use for it, the only thing I discovered that it was useful for keeping you awake and wanting more. Once the acute effects of wanting it are gone, it's easy to see that

1. You're not any better on it, in fact you perform worse in many ways.
2. Thoughts begin to revolve around its use the more you use it.
3. Life while NOT being on it is in every way better.

It's more difficult if you smoke and even more so if you inject.

The only time I have seen people just continue using was when they didn't care if they lived or died.

Someone I know was smoking around 4g a week, he fell in love and quit pretty much straight away, it was about 6 months before he was back to normal.

Like any addiction, it's an insidious and slow process, one that if you lie to yourself if you are addicted, will get worse.
Click to expand...
Is an 8 ball per day considered a lot? Or a little?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top