theangryflower
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2025
- Messages
- 103
So after a two month bender on BDO and methamphetamine, I have decided that I just no longer want to continue on like this. It's not that I really lost control or anything like that because I'm pretty good at managing both of these addictions when I participate in them. What was my wake up call was that when I did decide to stop the BDO my blood pressure shot through the freaking roof and I thought I was going to have a stroke. I had to get back on my blood pressure medicine which really sucks because I was managing it just fine, but I'll go back to that eventually I hate this time of year because I live in Alabama and it's so hot outside. I can't go on walks, which is my preferred way of exercise. I start college on August 19 to pursue a biology degree hopefully with a chemistry minor. Anyways, that is what I'm setting my thoughts on. That is like my biggest life goal and I put it off for a very very long time. I'm not gonna see how old I am but you know I'm old enough to where I should've already done this. After six years of a very miserable marriage, I just decided that if I don't start giving myself the life that I feel like I deserve no one else can. And after multiple attempts to salvage my marriage, despite my husband, abusing me on multiple occasions are really constantly if we are talking in regards to emotional abuse I realize that there's no way to move past those types of things. And no matter how forgiving I am, I can't move past it. So I packed my things up and I'm staying with my brother temporarily. But this is a positive post actually because I know that after a few days of some good sleep and good eating I'm going to be fine actually better than fine. Last night when I was feeling tempted, I took a drive around the area where I'm going to be going to school at just to check it out again. And honestly, that's what I'm gonna do every single time I think about using.

