Slippery Sheepdogs Dribbling Rainbow Halo's All Over The Parellogram- PD Triangle Urt

[nearjat]

You said a lot of what I've been feeling lately FreedomOfTheMind, thanks for that .

I used to have the mindset of life being a big cosmic accident with no soul behind it, I hated myself, I hated everyone around me for what they did to me. My world was my ego, not in terms of arrogance or cockiness, but I was only living on emotions and personal issues. A trancendental LSD trip followed by a year (and still going...) of contemplation and awakening stopped all that emptiness and negativity.

I don't see it like I say it, haha. I don't see it as LSD changing who I am as a person. That is just so cheap sounding. What LSD showed me was what is possible in terms of life itself. It showed me how much I could be living, but wasn't because of my own nihilistic world view. All I saw was how things should be, LSD helped, but it's something we all have inside.

I think when the subject comes up with people in person, I'll just say I had a religious experience in church or something... then I don't have to deal with them belittling me.

 

[coelophysis]

I'll never quit psychedelics. I want to do them up until and including the day I die. You can always be safe about it, you don't need to just be a psychedelic junkie. I forget the beauty in the world easily some times, and need a psychedelic to shed the light back onto it.

 

[dread]

There are many ways to use psychedelics. I doubt I will ever completely stop using them either. Things like DMT and shrooms will probably be a part of my life always.

 

[IGNVS]

hmmm i think people took what i said wrong.

im not trying to delete any of my posts anymore... it was back in january. and i was just being paranoid...

and i wasnt complaining about needing to do it mannually, i was just suprised that someone said the mods did it when i had dif expereinces.

sallll gooodddd

 

[IGNVS]

today was like


fuck man... a DRAG. stress this

girls that

desire can burn itself please
on top of a stack of power point presentations
quite the show!


i want to eat xanax
thankyew

 

[nearjat]

today was like


fuck man... a DRAG. stress this

girls that

desire can burn itself please
on top of a stack of power point presentations
quite the show!


i want to eat xanax
thankyew

I think I might make one of those artistic-typography posters of your post there, and frame it on my wall.

I found your words very powerful for whatever reason.

 

[PepperSocks]

Stressful day here too; bad, edgy vibes.

 

[Xorkoth]

^ You sound like a smart person

The admins all are.

I have been on BL for awhile now and it will always be a part of my personal evolution etc but I often find that people in the PD get a little too attached to the drugs and the drug experiences rather than what we learn about ourselves from using the drugs as tools. That is why I dont spend too much time on here anymore- it is just not that good for my personal well-being to be around so much drug murmur all the time and i dont think its a healthy way for a person to live- to be thinking about drugs so often. I continue to use psychs a few times a year and smoke pot weekly but I feel strongly that being attached to psychs and the experiences will only bring about sorrow and problems in the long run- for drug experiences are transient- the drugs just show us that the potential is inside us to be anything we want!

Yeah, I go through stages of this as well. Sometimes Bluelight is such a trigger for me. I haven't been on much the past couple of weeks... summer vacation stuff, and it's kind of difficult to get back in the groove now that I'm home and everyone has stopped visiting. So much seems to have been going on this week though... you stop reading for a day and it takes forever to catch up! I probably won't ever read through everything I missed.

There are many ways to use psychedelics. I doubt I will ever completely stop using them either. Things like DMT and shrooms will probably be a part of my life always.

I agree with this. I don't really use them the same way I used to at all. These days I use them as tools for de-stressing and bringing myself into the present (which is the mechanism for the de-stressing), and focusing on what's important and what's being forced upon me by society.

hmmm i think people took what i said wrong.

im not trying to delete any of my posts anymore... it was back in january. and i was just being paranoid...

and i wasnt complaining about needing to do it mannually, i was just suprised that someone said the mods did it when i had dif expereinces.

sallll gooodddd

That's great, man... I read that post and I thought you were saying you were trying to leave and delete all of your posts.

Swilow - I could see it coming. But thanks for everything you've done, and I hope you can accomplish everything you want to. I love you man. You're the best. Please hang around at least from time to time. I frown when I think of a PD without at least a little bit of Swilow.

 

[Xorkoth]

It's been a friggin good weekend. 2 great trips and I am in the tripping zone!

My tripping anxiety is gone! My come-ups were so smooth and everything was so happy and euphoric. I can totally handle tripping more often now and it feels so good.

Can't wait to try a higher dose of those mushrooms next weekend. I wish I could trip during the week but getting up in the morning to go to work kind of gets in the way.

Hey hey, good to hear! I wondered when that would happen, or if. It took some time for my tripping anxiety to disappear, but disappear it did (for the most part).

I recommend leaving tripping to the weekends or special occasions. Once it gets easy to do, it's easy to do it way too often, and it just ends up being a waste of time and energy.

I certainly understand your attitude though.

 

[PepperSocks]

Thanks man It did feel good.

I should mention that I think phenibut played a little part in it. I only took 0.8g though.

It just provides a pleasant state to jump off of, a launching pad if you will. It doesn't cloud the trip at all.

Being able to let go in my mind played a bigger part though.

 

[dread]

I agree with this. I don't really use them the same way I used to at all. These days I use them as tools for de-stressing and bringing myself into the present (which is the mechanism for the de-stressing), and focusing on what's important and what's being forced upon me by society.

I do that as well. I also use them to find "flaws" creeping in to my psyche, garbage loaded in by the society etc.. and fix them. There's no better way to see things as they truly are than take a good toke of DMT and contemplate on it...

 

[Xorkoth]

Oh yes, phenibut... that's definitely a good way to reduce tripping anxiety. No doubt.

 

[swilow]

Goooooooooooooood morn. Ing

Thanks for eh all the kind o-thoughts

 

[Shambles]

The general opinion is that some admins are on a bit of an over controlling powertrip and ban him essentially on the basis of them not liking him.

As has been mentioned by a few staff members now, there's more to it than that unfortunately. Based on PD posts the ban would be ridiculous, but there was a lot of other stuff over long periods of time that had to be taken into account

On another topic, Andy knows he could come back under a new IP address and keep a low profile, but he doesn't seem to be trying too hard at the moment. I don't agree with the mods decision to pursue him so relentlessly ... there is clearly some control issue here. I think if he could come back a little more quietly and make some good contributions without revealing his identity right away (it's bound to come out eventually), he should be allowed to stay ...

This is probably true. Coming straight out and revealing his identity is a bit of a giveaway

Perhaps its just me, but I certainly notice a bias from several people towards him...

They would be the staff whose forums he trolled and personally threatened or abused I would think. It may not fit with his PD persona but it happened a lot elsewhere. I suspect steroids and testosterone were involved

All it takes is a bit of common sense to go unnoticed but telling the world he's back before he's even got to BLer status is just asking for a ban. A lil subtlety can go a long way

Andy aside, much love to Swirlow for all his work in PD. Personally I find it hard to imagine the place without you wielding a stick but suppose we'll have to get used to it

Not sure if you've come to any final decisions yet, Karma, but you would also be greatly missed. The behind the scenes drama is not something you have to take part in, but as it involves a friend I can understand that you kinda feel you have to

Much love to you both

 

[IGNVS]

i definatly understand the drug thing fotm was tlaking about.

i dont usually go to bl for reading about drugs anymore. maybe help the noobs with some dmt or talk about cactus here and there... but really, im more attached to the people here in the social, reading, talking, venting, breathing it in, then going over to second opinion for a bit.

breeze down the pd page and go "uughh drugs"
then go to philosophy and spirituality and go "uugghhh philosophy"

then go back to s.o. and look at the photo contest pictures. then exit bluelight

then open bluelight and go back to this social thread to see if any posts changed
then close bluelight

then open it one more time

then go out and do mah irl shit



does anyone eles synthesize information so much that it boils down into a cold philosophy of the expectation that people will find all the ideas that a short sentance may imply, and expand on them so much so that all of reality can be found in an equation like concept. this is a problem for me when i try to express gratitude. in my mind it is implied. i am grateful for things, for instance, you mods and fellow posters, but find expressing it absurd on some level.
scary...

i feel like my mind is a beautiful island of thoughts alone and observed from passing ships on the horizon

 

[PepperSocks]

Yes, thanks Swilow for your years of modding

Sorry I didn't say it earlier; was in a bit of a grump Stick around

You too Karma, thanks for all your work, you stick around too

Much love to you both

Ha, just realized Shambles posted the exact same line lol Great minds think alike :D

 

[swilow]

^ Thanks brother

Shambles, I am still wielding a stick, its just....well, not very effective at anything except turning the TV on with from afar. Darn...

 

[andreas]

swilow
I sense you are at some cross road and and feel you are unable to chose direction at this present place in time and space. I hope that you can clear your head/mind from what ever it is.

 

[IGNVS]

oh my life

are you all dead?!
are there only philosophes and romantics left?
where walk those who synthesize rivaling ideas
and revel themselves not in radical madness?

for i too know madness
but when i am not consumed
where are thee then?
waiting i supose as i have
waiting while i am mad

must i love madness first
and wait for its resolve?
how long are these years!
how many the days i say
tommorrow shall i love thee

 

[Roger&Me]

Great post, FOTM. I've been feeling the same way lately; like I've mined every bit of goodness from the psychedelic experience, and its just getting redundant at this point.

I've been feeling a change coming for a while now, and I think that I might be done with psychedelics pretty soon. I have a couple more experiments planned with new chemicals that have been on my list for a while, but I doubt I'll be going to back to regular tripping. Its getting counter-productive at this point.

Oh and btw, Peace and love to you all this fine evening.