***Singles Thread*** - WE LOVE IT.

[preacha]

all you need is love

 

[doofqueen]

yawn

exactly

don't converse with me unless you actually know what i'm saying ok. Then i'm happy to 'banter'

ta

 

[doofqueen]

DQ - Personally I think being asexual for a [long] while would do you some good!

Considering you don't even know whether you're staight/ lesbian/ bi...

you are more than likely right about that... in this point in time anyway...

 

[doofqueen]

I think that there's too much emphasis being put on labels, personally. What it boils down to is just do what you want.. and who you want. Men, women, noone, do what feels right at the time.

Why do people have to even "be" something?

yeah, i've always had this way of thinking. That i'm a "people" person and don't discriminate by gender and love who people "are" but then when it comes to trying to understand who i am (after thinking i had it covered) i need to label to 'get it' and end up more confused then when i didn't care 'what' i was.

 

[doofqueen]

all you need is love

and gaffa tape

 

[Doppelganger]

I think that there's too much emphasis being put on labels, personally. What it boils down to is just do what you want.. and who you want. Men, women, noone, do what feels right at the time.

Why do people have to even "be" something?

People are always something, people always have a persuasion/ status.

It's simply about 'knowing yourself'...

I mean, it's not unusual for people to push the boundaries of their known persuasion [ie. straight girls having that *naughty* kiss, for a night of fun ]... but people should at least know the core of their sexuality!

I've always carefully referred to myself as bi-curious over bi-sexual, as even though I've gone the whole way with girls and definitely find them attractive... I plan to marry a guy [monogomous]! It's always been that way!

I don't know, I guess I find it a bit fucked up when others can't give a title to their sexuality. To me, it's essential!

 

[zephyr]

Why do people have to even "be" something?

I am a tree.

 

[m4dd0g]

^ I'm a closet tree. Shhh!

Btw, i think your avatar is coming onto me ... and possibly everybody else

 

[zephyr]

*Raises Hand*

It's only recent (maybe 12-18 months) that I've felt this way. But certainly, life is grand as being single.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't take an opportunity if it arsoe but I'm not actively looking.

I put it down to an increased female friendship precense in my life and energy outlets other than sex.

But as mentioned by a few other (one other?) poster, there has been a huge amount of soul searching and personal growth. I'm happy for once with who I am and understand myself far better than before.

I kind of get the feeling I wasn't as self aware until recently. I've always been aware of my friends, their growth, changes and the environment around me. But you never think 'gee maybe I should think about myself'.

I guess it takes lonely and miserable as friends to teach you a bit about yourself before you can join the ranks of content and somewhat happy.

Ruski: for some reason I thought you were married!:D

I am in a good place right now....a few bouts of anger and sadness about my marriage break up here and there, but having good friends around has really helped with that.

I am happily single, but wouldnt hesitate to try again if I met someone who is special. I just havent found that person yet and am definately not out deliberately looking. :D

Sitting around and feeling miserable about not having a partner achieves nothing. Its just as stupid as staying in a bad relationship just to have a partner. What a waste of time!

DQ: I think if she doesnt mind you seeing a guy, then go ahead and do it, just dont rub her nose in it...its going to be hard to find someone who will make you happy long term if you're into both guys and girls.

 

[Samadhi]

People are always something, people always have a persuasion/ status.

It's simply about 'knowing yourself'...

I mean, it's not unusual for people to push the boundaries of their known persuasion [ie. straight girls having that *naughty* kiss, for a night of fun ]... but people should at least know the core of their sexuality!

I've always carefully referred to myself as bi-curious over bi-sexual, as even though I've gone the whole way with girls and definitely find them attractive... I plan to marry a guy [monogomous]! It's always been that way!

I don't know, I guess I find it a bit fucked up when others can't give a title to their sexuality. To me, it's essential!

Yeah, i understand your point, but i guess i'm just not down with having to place a name on something. We'll agree to disagree

 

[Samadhi]

I am a tree.

Cool! So, if you fell in the forrest, would anybody hear?

Ok, enough from me now.

*edit, because i was half asleep

 

[doofqueen]

I don't know, I guess I find it a bit fucked up when others can't give a title to their sexuality. To me, it's essential!

well if you have that luxury to always know who you are then more power to you. I thought I had myself worked out in that regard (and i'm nearing 30) Sometimes life throws you a curveball. Surely you would know what that is like? I'm talking about just sexuality now but rather when you have to think things over and ask more of yourself. Look deeper and all that...

 

[miss_goody2shoes]

aaages ago I clicked on I think it was katmeow's link for that "I just want bang bang bang" song hehehe it was funny.
N it sounded like this guy: www.monkeymofo.com

irrelevant? yes :D

ok, to be bit more relevant to the topic, how intreresting....I guess nice n refreshing is it when you are gonna catch up with someone thinking its just to get it on but discover its more so they can just see you again n chat. Yeh I guess guys still manage to suprise me.
But I still hold the sorta unfair generalisation that boys generally don't make much of an effort these days wif the ladies. Tho of course I suspect that's unfortunately due to me not being around/meeting the nice guys. Where are all they?! Who's hiding them?! haha probably all taken.
I don't kno if anyone agree's with me here but to me (what I see around me) it seems like casual liasons are the new dating. Everyone is so busy these days, even hard to organize that but it does allow for a hassle-free no-strings-attached way of both parties to get what they want. Tis like people don't meet up to talk over a meal, go to the movies etc anymore. You meet a guy, hit it off, agree to catch up again soon in the near future...but where's the suggestion of stuff like that i.e a date? N again maybe I just happen to be in an alternative environment ? Also maybe these situations therefore then suggest I'm make it seem like that's not what I'm after, but I don't think it's the case. On the other hand when I think about the last few months when I've met a few new guys n how off my face n silly-acting I've been...probably not doing myself any favours haha. I'm just crapping on and not really sure what I'm trying to say and whether I'm getting that across :D

 

[ruski]

^^ MG2S: No need to disclaim at the end of all your posts. You often make very valid points, its not neccessary to discredit yourself. Let other people do that if neccessary (and you'll find they most likely won't).

Anyway, I think that it all depends on your social circles.

If you want to use 'date' in the traditional sense of the word (ie. rendevous with a potential candidate in a fairly cliched setting) then I've been on a grand total of one date, it was nice, but it didn't work out with the lady in question.

I think you often meet people through friends, work etc and see them a few times hit it off and then catch up on a singular level perhaps.

As for meeting up with people one on one, a date could be classed as anything really and you'll probably find that you've gone on quite a few if you thought about it outside the small circle of what I guess traditionally we would call a date.

But I still hold the sorta unfair generalisation that boys generally don't make much of an effort these days wif the ladies. Tho of course I suspect that's unfortunately due to me not being around/meeting the nice guys. Where are all they?! Who's hiding them?! haha probably all taken.

We're around, but I'm guessing we're hidding at the opposite end of where all the good ladies are hiding.

Personally I find its just as difficult for a guy to meet a nice girl as it is in the reverse situation.

*Will post more later, brain not working due to fasting.

 

[Doppelganger]

well if you have that luxury to always know who you are then more power to you. I thought I had myself worked out in that regard (and i'm nearing 30) Sometimes life throws you a curveball. Surely you would know what that is like? I'm talking about just sexuality now but rather when you have to think things over and ask more of yourself. Look deeper and all that...

Well of course, but I recognize the only reason I've been caught in a stale-mate, is because of fear. It has absolutely nothing to do with not knowing what I want... I always know what I want! Sometimes you just know the extent of your own evil desires, and are too guilty to admit them out loud. That's when you start saying you're 'confused.'

Classic example: Girl and guy are dating. Girl wants out, but wants to keep guy as a friend. Guy has always said that he never remains friends with girls after a break-up. Girl is fearful of losing guy forever due to this, so instead tries to manipulate the situation. She tells guy she's "confused" [she's not.. she knows damn well she wants out,] and tells him she needs a break to think about things. Guy is in love, so he's gullible enough to believe her. Girl strings guy along for a bit hoping that he gets used to the situation [friends!] He probably doesn't and eventually ends up telling girl he's leaving for good. Girl's fears are confirmed, hence she may succumb to dating him again, whilst feeling utterly repulsed [that's if she's real weak!] Then, 1 week later, she breaks up with him again.

etc, etc...

[I'm sure most of us know the ending, we've all been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of someone else's weaknesses.]

So yeah, generally speaking, when people tell me they're confused, I assume they're afraid of the consequences of their desires... rather than unsure of what they want .

 

[lady grey]

Its a perfectly normal reaction to be confused about your sexuality.

I do not have one gay/bi friend who hasnt at some stage gone through questioning themselves & their choice. You will come out of it with a clear decision - its not a weakness to be afraid of the consequences when they will subsequently be life changing

 

[Samadhi]

its not a weakness to be afraid of the consequences when they will subsequently be life changing

Bingo

 

[FaTz]

Who you calling a cunt?

YOU FUCKEN LOVE IT.

*sigh* U cunts

 

[Doppelganger]

Its a perfectly normal reaction to be confused about your sexuality.

I do not have one gay/bi friend who hasnt at some stage gone through questioning themselves & their choice. You will come out of it with a clear decision - its not a weakness to be afraid of the consequences when they will subsequently be life changing

I wasn't saying that it's not normal to be caught in a stale-mate [it's totally normal]... I was just saying the only reason we get caught in these stale-mates is due to fear. Whether it be fear of the consequences, fear of the unknown, or any other reason someone would feel a reason to fear .

Fear is always a weakness, albeit a natural one that few sane human's are exempt from!

 

[sydkiwi]

what another singles thread?!!



lol so whos actually hocked up with anyone in the past year (I cant be bothered keeping up).




oh I finally found a decent bloke and he keeps away from these sites - thankfully.



sorry just popped in to say hello.