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Should i just kill myself ?

neutrophilis

neutrophilis

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Messages
177
Location
uk
Im perscribed 28 x 20mg temazepam - 28 x 0.5mg clonazepam - 28 lorazepam. This is a 14 day period of scripts. This is what it takes for me to function relatively comfortably. Surely i should just fcukin give up with this. I gots to be eating these for the rest of my life ? Im gonna be fcuked without them trust me, i got issues that dont need explaining that means i need these meds. Fcuk it like, cant work, social freak cos im such a anxious person. Its an honest question and im not looking for none of that "oh no dont kill yourself theres more to life" Im asking a serious question if you had the choice to live knowing you gonna have to be medicated for the rest of your life or logically leave the world and make life easier on planet earth, yeh, fcukin over populated as it is.
 
What do you want me to say to that ?

Edit: Whatever you feel like saying which in your case was obviously nothing. Thats cool. Still a conversation about my life. Fits perfect!
 
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If you want a serious no-bullshit answer, I'd say stay and look into religion. Seriously consider the possibility of an objective point to life. I know this is a bad time to preach, but if there is an objective point to life then killing yourself is a bad idea. Also, killing yourself's gonna be hard on others. Again, that's probably the wrong thing to say, but you seem to be looking for concrete points, so I'm giving them to you. Life's hard as fuck, though. But that don't mean it's pointless. If it is pointless, then it's temporary anyway. You only get one chance, man. Life's hard, but death's harder.

Don't kill yourself, I'd say. I'd read this, it's got some cool things to say http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/590722-The-Suicide-support-thread .
 
If you're in a crisis, call 911, or your respective emergency number. Us internet unprofessionals can only do so much, and we might end up making the situation worse since we don't necessarily know what we're doing.

Best of luck, man. Sorry things are shit.
 
gmanyo said:
If you want a serious no-bullshit answer, I'd say stay and look into religion. Seriously consider the possibility of an objective point to life. I know this is a bad time to preach, but if there is an objective point to life then killing yourself is a bad idea. Also, killing yourself's gonna be hard on others. Again, that's probably the wrong thing to say, but you seem to be looking for concrete points, so I'm giving them to you. Life's hard as fuck, though. But that don't mean it's pointless. If it is pointless, then it's temporary anyway. You only get one chance, man. Life's hard, but death's harder.

Don't kill yourself, I'd say. I'd read this, it's got some cool things to say http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/590722-The-Suicide-support-thread .
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No bullshit thats what im all about. Religion - no, I have my beliefs. An objective point to life...hmmm...u got me there. Like im not gonna just top myself and leave family in a mess ill go discuss it with them til they understand and agree with me. Im sure i can make that happen. Then again that could be bad if they cant get over it then i guess i have aquired an objective. Thats probably the only objective that could keep me alive - Family.
 
gmanyo said:
If you're in a crisis, call 911, or your respective emergency number. Us internet unprofessionals can only do so much, and we might end up making the situation worse since we don't necessarily know what we're doing.

Best of luck, man. Sorry things are shit.
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All good im probably the only suicidal person with an comfortable/objective point of view on the issue. Nothing you can say will make it better or worse.
 
My answer to your question is I'd keep living. Sure, being medicated sucks, but for me, my friends and family more than make up for how much it would suck. And even if I don't have too many of those (I don't) I'd know that there were a bunch of people out there who'd be interested in knowing me and getting close to me. That sounds cheesy as fuck, but I'm completely serious. People are amazing. People would be the most important factor in my staying.

On the other hand I do doubt I'd make the world that much better by leavng it. I'd just be wasting potential. I could have earned a place in so many people's lives had I lived. I could have been there for them and helped them through things. I'm not big on utilitarianism, but if that's what I were doing (like you seem to want to be doing), I'd work my way up the social ladder and change policies which affect the world on a large scale. "Logically", I really don't think I could make the world a better place by leaving it.

If you're seriously concerned about overpopulation, you'd be glad to know birth rates are falling in some industrialized countries. Maybe move to those places. :D
 
Man, I'm over medicated too, and I want to LIVE. Not leave. Now you can always taper your benzos, it's not THAT hard. Good luck ;)
 
You are probably medicated by a doctor who is trying to make existence more manageable, gratifying, and stable for you. I was once heavily medicated too. I was very young, so sometimes I felt like a freak compared to my peers. I had a hard time not letting the fact that I needed these pills to be balanced impact my self esteem. But I knew that their purpose was to help me, so I decided to continue taking them. I also put serious effort, with my therapist, into developing habits and skills that would make my life easier. I would argue this had an equal, if not greater, impact than the medication.

I am currently off all of my prescribed medication. I know psychological health is different from person to person, but it is possible to build a life outside of psychiatric pharmaceuticals. Now, I will admit that not even I have decided whether I am truly better off the way I currently am or if I could benefit from some help. But seeing as I once said exactly the same thing you did, "Why should I bother living if my existence is so messed up that I need heavy medication," and have since managed to sustain a life without it, I wanted to speak up and encourage you to stick it out. I found I get the most out of life when I focus on making myself the person I want to be. It is for this reason that even if I later find I operate better with medication, I will have no shame in taking it.

Try not to feel trapped by your anxiety. The medication is a tool to help you manage it. Letting yourself have negative, anxiety producing thoughts about the medication is antithetical to their purpose. If all else seems to fail, make "overcoming anxiety" your objective and be open to forming new habits and thought patterns to achieve it.

PS:
Since your post seems to be mostly asking how people would react if they had to be heavily medicated for the rest of their life, and less focused on discussing a particular aspect of benzos, requesting this thread be moved to The Darker Side may result in the kind of discussion you seem to be seeking.
 
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I'm bipolar, paranoid and have (guaranteed) anxiety as bad as you and i will be on meds for the rest of my life or until they find cures for mental issues. And i'm all past that "kill myself" shit.. i sliced both wrists and my throat in '07 and got 28 stitches 7 for each cut and i almost bled to death.. i look at it that i hit the life jackpot because of the stitches i got 7-7-7 (jackpot!, on a slot machine anyway lol) c'mon man.. brighten up. brush yourself off and get ready to fight the bitch called life.. no one ever said life was easy, and it surely isn't.. i had 3 kids by the time i was 18 and i pay and support ALL of them 1 of them since i was 15. But this aint about me.. it's about you. And telling you what you DON'T wanna hear "there's more to life".
Good luck homie with whatever you choose to do with yourself.
%) <3
 
I've mean on meds most of my adult life and have an opiate addiction. It might be worth going on antidepressants, as Benzos on their own can make you more depressed. Go on something like Paroxetine (Seroxat) as it is pretty powerful and works on anxiety and shyness as well. You just have to acept things and try and do the best things to improve your situation. Going on some sort of training may help your self esteem, take your mind off things and improve your employability. Exercise will help as well, lifting your mood and making you more relaxed. My best friend has been on anti-psychotics for 16 years, is not in work and has never had a girlfriend;he is not suicidal.

Hang in there, when things seem really bad, it won't last forever.

KHH
 
"On many days it feels like I'm dying inside and it's not worth the energy it takes trying to survive"
 
i have the same problems stuck on benzos and opioid drugs just to function it's a shitty life but if you kill yourself think about the people that it will hurt deeply
 
It's not what a lot of people want to hear, but benzos definitely amplify depression. I've lived it. I didn't believe it for the longest time but it's true. The idea that you have to be on anxiety meds that have only existed for less than 50 years doesn't really hold up to scrutiny. Since the dawn of civilization, people have had stress and have gotten through it without benzos. You can too-- you just have to be determined that you're going to do it.
 
neutrophilis, you are way overmedicated and possibly addicted to benzodiazepines. Saying you need them is just an addict's excuse. What is more sad about your situation is that you are not looking for real solutions to your problem but only for excuses to either kill yourself or dope yourself into oblivion. Your fears took control over your mind and made it hard for you to have a rational view on your own life. I've been in that position and went onto therapy which helped me a lot with anxiety problems.
 
If you are a religious man of some sort, the question of killing yourself wouldnt come into play...........so with that said, I dont believe in suicide, its a way to end a persons life untimely. I do believe there is a reason we are all here, whether its insignificant as other peoples lives in our minds, its still a life that is on this earth for a reason..........

Now about you taking benzos for the rest of your life for issues that you have.........whats the big deal? Lots of people take meds of one or another all their lives to function. You do know there are people walking around on this earth blind & never got to see what the rest of us are seeing. There are so many people that have it worse than you & they still stick around & tough it out. I suggest you do the same.

At least you're not sitting on a hospital bed with stage 4 cancer yelling for the nurses to bring you pain meds. Seen this & it is not a pretty site...........sad, very sad but I am not here to belittle you, just want to give you some perspective on how a lot of people on this earth are living with pain & they keep chugging away, so I hope you do the same.

Take the meds knowing some day, the doctors might have a cure for what you endure.
 
Remember, Be Here Now - Baba Ram Daas

Very good read - got me thinking better in terms of spirituality and such.

I too feel it would be better to just subtract myself from this equation and make life a statistically easier goal for our Earth. As you say, it IS overpopulated / underfed as it is (and we're losing our rights as humans as a result). However, there's more to the basic "me n you" bs. Everyone has a reason that they're / we're here. Of course it's almost asinine to try to figure out what the reason is until after it's accomplished, but to me that's at least one reason to stick around - see where the train-wreck is headed. Too good to look away, ya know?

Don't let the fact that you're on some meds deter you from accomplishing what you can achieve! Hell, I can't deal w/o my clonazepam (can, but ugh), and opiates make it possible for me to carry on my #1 hobby. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop just because the meds allow it to happen (though my position is no better - I'm just more apt to eat some more meds...).

Just my $0.02 friend, take from it what you'd like (and of course, feel free to PM me if you want to chat about anything). Suicide is one option, but the story ends here. There's no way to figure out what you are gonna be like at an older age - or if you'll sort the anxiety issues. Had I killed myself at 14 like I tried (the first of, well shit, many attempts).. it would just leave too many doors closed that I wish to open. Same holds true for me now at 22 (and have also recently made an attempt..).

Good luck. <3
 
OP, loulou reed (and other posters) make good points. You can taper down off your benzos and there is hope :)

I'm going to move this over to The Dark Side, I think it is better suited there.

<3

OD --> TDS
 
Sup King Hop head ya ok bro ? :)

Im not seriously concered about over population lol leggomyego but in all seriousness we all should be.

Yes i have slit my wrists too about 5 years ago Deezy got some nasty scars to boot, still fuckin breathing though. SmarTPants, Thanks for the post bro your prolly right this should get moved to the darkside for sure.

I guess im just talking to myself here, its better out then in right, so fed up about thinking about it i thought id write about it even though im not very good at articulating at what i want to say half the time and this coulda gone out on any site but this one just felt right, all my problems are actually drug related. I do have an appoinment with a mental health pro on 2nd april. So whats that 102 pills away. Like i wish i could tell you guys the real issue here what caused all this because there was a certain event that happened that caused all these issues, i was never like this before. Its very embarassing and not only that if you knew i dont think any of you would ever take me seriously ever again, not sayin you did in the first place lol but like its real and if you knew youd prolly gimme the correct advice and say kill yoursel son, maybe not so frankly. I need to get that out there, thats gonna take balls. Its gonna be real. The real question to me is if i told people my underlying problem will it benefit me or not. Id say it would only have a negative impact on the way people react to me and i dont want that at all. Id rather walk down the street unoticed kinda thing.

That probably makes no sense to anyone and im not paranoid or delusional. I know what im talkin bout. I think lol

oh yeh p.s not addicted to any drugs, benzos or any others im literately just nuts!

p.p.s i do not molest children or animals or fuckin anything other then my own penis.
 
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