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Share something POSITIVE from your day vs. it's all around you

Remember idle hands are the devils workshop.
Whike in recovery you need to change almost every aspect of your life to stay clean. For instance let's say you used everyday after work when you got home, you sit down on the couch get high and watch your favourite shows or whatever it is you do in peace and relaxed nodding out.
when you are sober and you come home to the same room you always used in and sit down on the couch and watch TV, chances are your gonna wana get high and the cravings will be unbearable this isn't good to do to yourself.
You need to find a new hobby create new relationships also cause your old friends may cause cravings too. You can't just get a job and say that'll keep you out of trouble cause it won't what are you gonna do when you get home after working 8 hours and you have a 100 bucks in your pocket? Your gonna get high. Don't be afraid to pm me if you feel you want to relapse or are craving bad theres no sense messaging me after you use cause then there's no point the damage is done and you need to detox all over again but we won't judge you either way and if you want to try again we'll be there for you so hang in there. You don't want to be a junkie your whole life do you? Its embarrassing and the worst life a person could possibly lead. Look at yourself in the mirror and say why do I want to use right now? And what problems will be solved if I use?

If you wanna message me just use the pm box and message me instead of filling up this thread.
 
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trainspotter10102 said:
I've heard many good and bad things about ibogaine. I watched somebody on TV using ibogaine to come off heroin and he looked like he was going through hell throwing up everywhere and seeing tracers floating around the air it sounded scary not very pleasant. I don't think it is a miracle drug or anything. Its should really be done in a controlled environment with somebody like a nurse or doctor there every step of the way some people react very badly to the drug And its not something that should go into your body if you have any other drug already in your system such as heroin because it doesn't react well.

You live in Canada too eh? Lol I live in BC it's beautiful here no snow or rain just sunny skies.
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Yes, I'm aware of the precautions to take when engaging in an ibogaine experience, though I don't know much about the scientifics of the substance, I do know there is a treatment facility in BC...
I plan to go to BC one day... Winnipeg sucks lol!!!

~Ms.P
 
trainspotter10102 said:
Yep he was a dick he has looked right at me and never knew who the hell I was. I was at the gym and he was working out next to me and he just had no clue I was his son. I mean I don't have kids but if I did I would want to at least want to have a picture of them to see what the hell they look like. I mean I recognised him after 5 years still but he didn't know what I looked like.
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I'm so sorry you have to go through that, that seems like it would be super painful and weird to me. I have the best dad ever, unfortunately he got diagnosed late last year with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) which is fatal 100% of the time within 3-7 years. Currently he has lost most of the use of his arms (it started there), he can't lift them up past just above his waist and has no strength (they are skinny like sticks), though he can still drive. And he can still walk but loses his balance sometimes and can't walk very far before becomes very tired. And I live halfway cross the country and can't sell my house (I bought it one month before the market tanked and if I sold it, after the realtor fees I would be underwater... plus I love where I live but I would probably move to be with him if I could).

<3

trainspotter10102 said:
I've heard many good and bad things about ibogaine. I watched somebody on TV using ibogaine to come off heroin and he looked like he was going through hell throwing up everywhere and seeing tracers floating around the air it sounded scary not very pleasant. I don't think it is a miracle drug or anything. Its should really be done in a controlled environment with somebody like a nurse or doctor there every step of the way some people react very badly to the drug And its not something that should go into your body if you have any other drug already in your system such as heroin because it doesn't react well.
Click to expand...

I agree it's no miracle cure. However the success rate is quite high. Also, it's true that you shouldn't be currently high from opiates, and if possible it's best to not be physically addicted at the time, however, for most people it blocks withdrawal entirely for a good week or so if you are physically addicted, and the effects of the metabolite nor-ibogaine produces an intense euphoria for weeks afterwards which is fantastic for dealing with PAWS. And the nature of the trip itself confronts the underlying causes of your mental addiction as well as other personal problems. I personally know and have extensively communicated with two individuals who have successfully beat their addictions with ibogaine, and am taking their advice in how to go about this. Neither of them did it under the direct supervision of medical professionals and were both on opiates at the time. If it were possible for me, I'd do it at a medical facility with trained professionals but being that I am in the US, I am not able to find such a setting, and I don't have the money nor the time off work to travel to another country where such clinics are available. I am taking a few days off work for it but that's all I can swing.

Also, I have no illusions that it won't be scary and it's unlikely to be pleasant... that is not what I'm going for. Those I know who have done it and have considerable psychedelic experience (as I do) say that it's super intense and can be quite alarming, but that it's not actually terrifying, it carries you along similarly to how a strong dissociative like ketamine does. I am definitely really nervous about it but also excited. I thought about it for over a month before deciding to actually do it. I truly feel that it is the correct way forward for me. I have cold turkeyed several times, and about 4 years ago I successfully quit for a year. But, I relapsed. I always relapse. I feel that ibogaine is the way to go for me because not only does it deal with withdrawals, but there is an accompanying trip that helps you to confront and deal with the causes of your addiction.
 
Papaverium said:
Yes, I'm aware of the precautions to take when engaging in an ibogaine experience, though I don't know much about the scientifics of the substance, I do know there is a treatment facility in BC...
I plan to go to BC one day... Winnipeg sucks lol!!!

~Ms.P
Click to expand...

Oh really I never knew that there was a ibogaine facility here in BC that's cool there's lots of expensive rehabs you see on shows like intervention here for about 100 000 a person for a month or so but apparently IT'S so nice. All I had was the local detox facility its nice cause its free the staff are awesome and there's good food 3 meals a day you order from a menu and there's lots of yummy stuff. There's also so much food always in the fridge and cupboard like soup and snacks.its nice when you get an appetite back and start mowing down on everything. Lots of junkies go in there once a year or so and sneak in drugs then just hang out eat as much as they possibly can just to get away from the streets for a while IT'S like there vacation lol
But BC is a good place to live you gotta pay lots for taxes but we get free healthcare and bc has the best weather in all of canada we mabye get snow once a year.
 
trainspotter10102 said:
bc has the best weather in all of canada we mabye get snow once a year.
Click to expand...

I live in New England and all the snow 70" this year total is FINALLY gone as of last week.. might get a mix of rain and snow tonight though, wont accumulate to anything.
I'd love to visit Canada sometime but im a felon and i gotta jump through hoops to be able to leave the US and then again to get them to let me back in lol.
 
Awesome man, congrats! :) Just a second ago I replied to your post in the how are you feeling thread, nice to click here next and see this. It gives me hope that I can do it too. <3
 
Xorkoth said:
I'm so sorry you have to go through that, that seems like it would be super painful and weird to me. I have the best dad ever, unfortunately he got diagnosed late last year with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) which is fatal 100% of the time within 3-7 years. Currently he has lost most of the use of his arms (it started there), he can't lift them up past just above his waist and has no strength (they are skinny like sticks), though he can still drive. And he can still walk but loses his balance sometimes and can't walk very far before becomes very tired. And I live halfway cross the country and can't sell my house (I bought it one month before the market tanked and if I sold it, after the realtor fees I would be underwater... plus I love where I live but I would probably move to be with him if I could).

<3



I agree it's no miracle cure. However the success rate is quite high. Also, it's true that you shouldn't be currently high from opiates, and if possible it's best to not be physically addicted at the time, however, for most people it blocks withdrawal entirely for a good week or so if you are physically addicted, and the effects of the metabolite nor-ibogaine produces an intense euphoria for weeks afterwards which is fantastic for dealing with PAWS. And the nature of the trip itself confronts the underlying causes of your mental addiction as well as other personal problems. I personally know and have extensively communicated with two individuals who have successfully beat their addictions with ibogaine, and am taking their advice in how to go about this. Neither of them did it under the direct supervision of medical professionals and were both on opiates at the time. If it were possible for me, I'd do it at a medical facility with trained professionals but being that I am in the US, I am not able to find such a setting, and I don't have the money nor the time off work to travel to another country where such clinics are available. I am taking a few days off work for it but that's all I can swing.

Also, I have no illusions that it won't be scary and it's unlikely to be pleasant... that is not what I'm going for. Those I know who have done it and have considerable psychedelic experience (as I do) say that it's super intense and can be quite alarming, but that it's not actually terrifying, it carries you along similarly to how a strong dissociative like ketamine does. I am definitely really nervous about it but also excited. I thought about it for over a month before deciding to actually do it. I truly feel that it is the correct way forward for me. I have cold turkeyed several times, and about 4 years ago I successfully quit for a year. But, I relapsed. I always relapse. I feel that ibogaine is the way to go for me because not only does it deal with withdrawals, but there is an accompanying trip that helps you to confront and deal with the causes of your addiction.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your kind words it alwaysbwas something that affected my self esteem all my life It did hurt being a kid wondering why the hell nobody wants me around and now after taking care of mom for years while dads out doing what he wants to do to then he dies and I find out he went out of his way to make sure his own family would never inherit his money it blows my mind to tell you the truth I've tried to figure out why lately and can't seem to figure it out. It was definetly a big factor in why i used drugs to kill my pain but I've learned I can't blame people for my problems steming from addiction its all on me I chose this life now i gotta play these cards blaming people will only make it worse I was ultimately the one who decided to take the pills or to inject the substances I have. There's lots of people that grow up without fathers, have a shitty rough life and don't become addicted to drugs. I think if you wana stay sober you must admit to yourself that your in this spot because of YOU and nothing else its only once you can do this that true change can happen.
I've been seeing a counsler too for my problems while on suboxone so that's been helpful to talk with someone.

Oh that's interesting about ibogaine I didn't know that i don't know a whole lot about it but once I heard it helped paws I can see the attraction to do it cause paws are hell. I could see how a psychedelic would help with the whole figuring out your reason for using and what drove you be in the position your in because I've used mushrooms before. If you think it'll work for you that's great you should definitely try it and let us know how it went.
 
HdoubleODeezy said:
I live in New England and all the snow 70" this year total is FINALLY gone as of last week.. might get a mix of rain and snow tonight though, wont accumulate to anything.
I'd love to visit Canada sometime but im a felon and i gotta jump through hoops to be able to leave the US and then again to get them to let me back in lol.
Click to expand...
Oh shit really yea sucks having convictions on your record eh I know what you mean lucky I live somewhere I love already and don't feel a need to leave. I can't handle snow man it sucks big time even the bit we get lol i gotta use a chainsaw outside and cut down trees and whatnot it makes everything so much harder and driving in it is scary at times all around frustrating
 
Yesterday I had the worst problems with my truck and the water pump blew and didn't know if i was going to be able to get home. But when I did, I arrived to the most colourful double rainbow i've ever seen. I was impressed.
 
trainspotter10102 said:
Thank you for your kind words it alwaysbwas something that affected my self esteem all my life It did hurt being a kid wondering why the hell nobody wants me around and now after taking care of mom for years while dads out doing what he wants to do to then he dies and I find out he went out of his way to make sure his own family would never inherit his money it blows my mind to tell you the truth I've tried to figure out why lately and can't seem to figure it out. It was definetly a big factor in why i used drugs to kill my pain but I've learned I can't blame people for my problems steming from addiction its all on me I chose this life now i gotta play these cards blaming people will only make it worse I was ultimately the one who decided to take the pills or to inject the substances I have. There's lots of people that grow up without fathers, have a shitty rough life and don't become addicted to drugs. I think if you wana stay sober you must admit to yourself that your in this spot because of YOU and nothing else its only once you can do this that true change can happen.
I've been seeing a counsler too for my problems while on suboxone so that's been helpful to talk with someone.
Click to expand...

That is so mind-boggling to me. But you know, I think you have to just accept that he was a selfish, bad person, and that that does not reflect on you at all. He's the one with the problem. It sucks that being abandoned made life difficult for you and your mom, but it has probably also made you strong and resilient. Of course the addiction is draining that from you and making you feel bad about yourself, but that's something you can and will beat, and you'll be stronger for having lived through that too. It's really good that you can battle in court for the inheritance, it sounds like there is a really good chance the judge will see that injustice has been done here and give you what you deserve. That can be some measure of victory and satisfaction, and will certainly make your life easier in a certain (but important) way. But I think the most important thing for you to do for your health and future is come to terms with your dad's betrayal, and put it behind you.

This coming from a guy who in all honesty doesn't really know how that feels at all, but I think what I said applies to all forms of betrayal or pain from another person in your life.

trainspotter10102 said:
Oh that's interesting about ibogaine I didn't know that i don't know a whole lot about it but once I heard it helped paws I can see the attraction to do it cause paws are hell. I could see how a psychedelic would help with the whole figuring out your reason for using and what drove you be in the position your in because I've used mushrooms before. If you think it'll work for you that's great you should definitely try it and let us know how it went.
Click to expand...

Thank you <3, and I will definitely report back, and write a Trip Report eventually. I'll probably write about it after the main part, and write more afterwards when I have a bit of perspective. :)

trainspotter10102 said:
Oh really I never knew that there was a ibogaine facility here in BC that's cool there's lots of expensive rehabs you see on shows like intervention here for about 100 000 a person for a month or so but apparently IT'S so nice. All I had was the local detox facility its nice cause its free the staff are awesome and there's good food 3 meals a day you order from a menu and there's lots of yummy stuff. There's also so much food always in the fridge and cupboard like soup and snacks.its nice when you get an appetite back and start mowing down on everything. Lots of junkies go in there once a year or so and sneak in drugs then just hang out eat as much as they possibly can just to get away from the streets for a while IT'S like there vacation lol
But BC is a good place to live you gotta pay lots for taxes but we get free healthcare and bc has the best weather in all of canada we mabye get snow once a year.
Click to expand...

Yeah I love when I get my appetite back and eating is just SO AWESOME, hehe and I can eat so much because my body needs to replenish. I have been reducing my usage somewhat and have had a burst of happiness for the past week because of my decision to do ibogaine, like I have hope now, so I don't feel depressed anymore. I've been eating quite a bit, it's great. :) I hadn't been eating much at all, it was like a chore to eat, and I am pretty sure I was malnourished.

Oh, and I went to Vancouver Island for my honeymoon, I loved it so much, actually when we went, in early August, it rained most of the day every day and was like 45-50 degrees F, except for the first and last day. The locals kept apologizing saying that was so weird, it's usually perfect that time of year. IUt was still awesome though, the mountains were so misty, and we stayed on the Malahat way up high and had an awesome view, there were huge columns of mist that were shaped so crazy. It was one of my favorite places I've been to.
 
Spent the evening/night hanging out with a cool chick. She got sick after the conference last week like I did and is still recovering so she didn't want to stay over all night but expressed a lot of interest in hanging out with me more over the next few days because we both have some excess free time this week. So hopefully some long overdue good times with a lady friend in my near future. Fingers crossed haha.
 
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