Expanding.. need to keep writing out some positives, better then that last bit. Didnt mean to hit post actually, but there it is..
Im alive and breathing.
Im still capable of being better than this, this will pass. It always does, and if it comes to a stop, it wont because thats meant to be. Continuity comes to an end for everyone, but the rest will follow to continue without me and thats ok. Everyone dies.
Im lost in my thoughts but Im still here, somewhere Im right here where I am, nowhere else to be. Until then, there Ill go.
I found community, as much as I dont feel a part of it, at times.. Im not so far apart here, that this isnt a place where Im left alone, or free. My imprint is right here where it ought to be, and Ive fought to be here.
I take solace in the pain, may not gain anything from this now. But in retrospect, later on Ill gain my self respect for beating this.
I dont feel I have roots, but if I dont have roots then I still have my seeds to grow, I can still reap what I sow.
I dont know what the future brings except uncertainty for whats next. Whatever that is, or will mean, will come to pass again, meaning less until the end.
I can look at each day as a beginning, a means to an end, yes, but the parts gone by cant win when theyre lacking presence. I can decide to live better than this.
Going in circles like I am, thats a figure of speech, an abstraction. Just need my pen to gain some traction and draw the line out. Anywhere I'm able to draw out my life, and for the better if I abstract some solidity into it. I could draw a bridge to a better place, or a platform to stand on.
❤
