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Sexy Job

neversickanymore said:
I agree.. but what is the point of getting married.. joint bank accounts and slightly better taxes?
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I think the whole idea of marriage is outdated. I mean seriously, so many people marry, have kids, and all that...yet these days, so many marriages end in divorce.

If you're a romantic, then perhaps the idea of being shackled to one person until death is appealing.
 
Illyria99 said:
I think the whole idea of marriage is outdated. I mean seriously, so many people marry, have kids, and all that...yet these days, so many marriages end in divorce.

If you're a romantic, then perhaps the idea of being shackled to one person until death is appealing.
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Me too but if a person is married then they should uphold the marriage or get out of the charade. and really what romantic about being shackled.. I think the romance of suffering is best witnessed second hand or read about, leave it to someone else to experience.
 
Illyria99 said:
If she wants to fuck around, that's her personal choice.

Who cares about "morals"? There's nothing wrong with indulging one's personal desires, as long as everyone involved is an adult.
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So in other words you support adultery? Well that's just great. How about if your marriage is that meaningless get divorced? Or don't get married in the first place if you don't care about honoring your commitment and just want to sleep around.

Who cares about morals? Seemingly fewer and fewer people, and it's what's sending our society down the toilet at least in the US.
 
nuttynutskin said:
So in other words you support adultery? Well that's just great. How about if your marriage is that meaningless get divorced? Or don't get married in the first place if you don't care about honoring your commitment and just want to sleep around.

Who cares about morals? Seemingly fewer and fewer people, and it's what's sending our society down the toilet at least in the US.
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I support people having as much fun as they can before they die. All these "rules" that humans have imposed upon themselves have created a race of paranoid, frustrated, unhappy individuals.

One Thousand Words said:
I'm going to assume her child is not an adult
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You know what I mean.
 
Illyria99 said:
I support people having as much fun as they can before they die. All these "rules" that humans have imposed upon themselves have created a race of paranoid, frustrated, unhappy individuals.
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Or was it lack or morals and respect? Hmmm... AFAIK no one put a gun to her head and forced her to get married to someone she obviously doesn't want to be with.
 
Morals...respect...who cares? If she wants to fuck around, that's her business.
 
Illyria99 said:
Nope.
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Then it sounds like you are talking about being worried about the morals of other people and not your own... and yeah fuck them.. but for me to respect myself then I need 2 and conform to my own morals.. but yeah I get you who gives a flying fuck what others think as long as we are good with ourselves. I am totally in favor of that.. but then again thats why I'm not married, cause a main idea in marriage is including what your partner will feel and believes.
 
Illyria99 said:
I support people having as much fun as they can before they die. All these "rules" that humans have imposed upon themselves have created a race of paranoid, frustrated, unhappy individuals.
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Nice to know that you are happy. (being highly sarcastic, remembering your post history)

Is the OP happy? (she said she is in therapy -- I will not judge here)


===

I see this happen so much on BL: people on a quest of maximizing their own desires claim that the Self is the highest good, but on the other hand they suffer from masses of mental problems, relationship problems, addiction, depression,...

maybe... just very maybe (sigh.) they are wrong, and the path towards happiness is not hedonism and egoism but developping meaningful relationships with others and having moral character.
 
Illyria99 said:
If you're a romantic, then perhaps the idea of being shackled to one person until death is appealing.
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lol! i guess you just haven't met the right person yet...

there are many types of people in the world but i'm going to agree that by deceiving people about sex you're gaining very little.

i have cheated and i could kick myself for how shit i felt when i got dumped.

recently another relationship ended but it was on my terms and it was much easier to cope with.

cheating is fine up to a point, i'm not possessive but i know what problems it caused me and i wouldn't repeat that situation

i've had a LOT of sex with a LOT of people and what i want is love and consideration and stability, not thrills jizz and guilt/emptiness
 
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T. Calderone said:
Cohesion, have you been married for a long time? For some reason I thought you were a single mom. It doesn't sound like you're happy or this is a marriage of convenience. Either way, this sort of job isn't for a married lady in my opinion. Even for a single girl, after the fantasy fades I can see it turning problematic.

Say even the most highly sexual woman decides to work for this man. There's going to be days where you don't feel like giving him head. What if you're having a bad day or your child gets sick and you have to stay home with her? His sex-doll is expendable, not unlike any other job. If you are seriously considering taking this job, have an attorney go over this contract.

If indeed, he is a legitimate CEO for a large company, what about the other employees? I don't see them treating you as an equal. He's told you his previous "secretary" was with him ten years, maybe to make it sound more legit. But I doubt he can keep people that long. You've already been made aware that you will not be able to sue him afterwards for PTSD and other stuff. Just red flags all over, Craigslist being the first one.

Seriously, the man is a freak and it doesn't sound like a secure/legitimate job. Like notagain said, this guy could pull some shit on you that you can't anticipate or expect you to blow his colleagues too. You could tire of this just as quickly as he can. Fuck that! You can find something that offers stability without compromising your dignity.
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I agree.

Cohesion the whole thing sounds way too good to be true, and very dangerous. How do you know this guy actually is what he claims to be? He also had you sign waivers that if anything went wrong you couldn't sue him if you get PTSD that's a major red flag as is meeting someone on Craigslist. I hope he's not a date rapist or using the whole CEO/Secretary role play thing to rape women, and then saying "It's not rape you agreed, signed a notarized contract to have sex with me or be my consensual slave/submissive, and to have consensual sex with me multiple times daily."

He also knows a lot about you how to contact you, and I hope he doesn't know where you live or that you have a kid.

If you do cheat on your husband or since you are, eventually he'll find out and won't be happy. It sounds like you are missing your husband or in a rough spot in your marriage or relationship. Cheating and being this guy's consensual slave/submissive isn't going to help. Be safe whatever you do.

OK I read how you decided not to do this at all, and that's a good thing. Don't try to meet up with the guy since he sounds dangerous.
 
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I appreciate everyone’s concern for my husband and illuminating cheating from his perspective.
I don’t want to destroy. I agree that what we need are moral/meaningful relationships.

PriestTheyCalledHim said:
If you do cheat on your husband or since you are, eventually he'll find out and won't be happy. It sounds like you are missing your husband or in a rough spot in your marriage or relationship. Cheating and being this guy's consensual slave/submissive isn't going to help. Be safe whatever you do.

OK I read how you decided not to do this at all, and that's a good thing. Don't try to meet up with the guy since he sounds dangerous.
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Yes, it all seemed very dangerous to me after I talked about it with my therapist. I am feeling really grounded now and this whole thing is just a nice fantasy. It doesn't seem like a good job at all. I'm a pretty introverted person and I don't see how that much sex could maintain appeal. When I found the ad I was not looking for a job, to be true. As a final thought, from what you've all demonstrated, the terms sound pretty shitty from a sex workers rights perspective.

For clarity Re: my husband-(not my child's birth father). We got married this year, and we are in different countries indefinitely due to Visa issues. I wasn't prepared for this long period of abstinence. I’m not. I wish to be. We have no real idea when we will see each other again. Feeling lonely and thinking about ways to nurture/heal that as I wait to be with him. Ideas welcome
 
Are either of you able to fly to the other? I know how hard LDRs are. We've been (somewhat) fortunate in that we have seen each other mostly once a month...sometimes twice and the longest it's gone is 6 weeks. It helps to have something to look forward to. Are you guys able to fly to see each other? We also talk almost every day, which I assume you guys do. Talking is fun, but it's hard to miss the intimacy and just be near one another. Can you guys plan a trip to see each other? I would think at least if you have some date to look forward to instead of "indefinitely can't see each other."

For me, it's a 2 hour flight so no biggie, so I feel for people who have a huge ocean between them.
 
Cohesion said:
For clarity Re: my husband-(not my child's birth father). We got married this year, and we are in different countries indefinitely due to Visa issues. I wasn't prepared for this long period of abstinence. I’m not. I wish to be. We have no real idea when we will see each other again. Feeling lonely and thinking about ways to nurture/heal that as I wait to be with him. Ideas welcome
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How and why did you meet and marry someone from another country in the first place? Especially if you're not willing to wait, and also based on something you said earlier in the thread...

Cohesion said:
Yes. Husband lives in India and we are apart indefinitely until we have enough money for everything. He did NOT satisfy me sexually when we were together. I was in a constant state of primal desire, but he fucks like an 18 year old boy and it just didn't catch. He tried oral once halfheartedly and was grossed out. From a woman who has been with 70 men, I need specific and advanced sexual acts.
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You said he fucks like an 18 year old boy and doesn't satisfy you. Why do you even want to be with him then? Even if/when he does come back over from India it doesn't seem like there's much of a chance for a good relationship, and to be honest based on things you've said it wouldn't surprise me if you ended up cheating on him even if he was there. Sex isn't everything in a relationship but if you're unsatisfied in the bedroom I don't see that leading anywhere good.

Also did you tell him you had HPV before he went down on you? Studies show HPV increases the risks for oral cancer. Seems like something I would want to know before I went down on someone. No offense, but you don't seem very responsible.
 
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Way to put me on the defense, nuttynutskin. I am clearly ready to share if you are truly interested- but not following a snarky approach.

Lysis, you are absolutely right. I need to crystallize a future date when we can see each other. When our projected date (January) fell through I lost hope. So I should claim it (hope) again.
 
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