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Sexual Preferences vs "Transphobia"

phantom_alyce said:
I've seen a lot more evidence suggesting that male-formed (men) and female-formed (women) brains light up different to various stimuli. Also, don't call me something I'm not, bitch. I don't hate anyone based on how their born, I hate peple that shoose to be ignorant, hateful, pieces of shit.
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Feel free to educate me then?

"Bitch" - I guess you were out of arguments.
 
arrall said:
The conversation here is mainly focusing on people who have had sexual reassigment surgery (so trans men with fully functioning penises and trans women with fully functioning vaginas)
Some people here are really insistent that they still wouldn't be attracted to people with the genitals they prefer but oddly refuse to specify why beyond "Do I really have to spell it out?" (because they don't want to say the quiet part - transphobia - out loud)
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I mean, for me it's more of an intrinsic feeling.

When I was in middle school, I knew I was gay ever since I was a little kid, but I desperately hoped it was some sort of "phase" I would grow out, because I knew that being gay meant my life was going to be more difficult than your average straight person.

So I tried dating a girl. And at first it was fine because there was no intimacy/romance or sexual stuff, but one day she left a letter in my locker & it was a very detailed, intimate letter & I just felt really uncomfortable from it because I wasn't attracted to females. So I finally came clean & told all my chick friends that I was gay. But I wouldn't say that makes me a misogynist or anything.

I would say that some one whose had surgeries is still not quite the same to me. I'm a gay top anyways, so ultimately I'm not too worried about the front parts, but there is still going to be that intrinsic reaction (that I'm not in control of) that comes from knowing the person isn't that biological gender. There's always going to be signs, whether it's the scars from having their breasts removed or whatever. A built, fully functioning penis is a complex surgical procedure (or at least it use to be, I dunno about now a days) and it would still come out looking quite different than a regular one.

But can I strictly say I would NEVER date/sleep with some one who was trans? I'd say no, because it totally depends on the person, context, etc..
I've never been in a situation yet where I've been attracted to a trans man & then found out they were trans, so I can't technically say how I would react. I think if I TRULY was attracted to this person for who they are, then I could probably get passed it. It would be different & need some adjusting to, but a person's personality can go a long ways too.

I mean, I wish I could easily swing those ways with my attractions, cause I tend to be attracted to men who are really douchebaggy, immature & mean to me. If I had any control over that though, I wouldn't choose to be attracted to those types of men since they don't really jive with me being the sensitive person that I am. It just is what it is.

But say I was put into an experiment where I'm in a room with 5 biological males & 1 trans man & I have to sleep with at least 4 of them, I'm most likely going to gravitate toward the biological males. Not because I'm transphobic, but because I am attracted to biological males only. If I'm aware in any way that a person wasn't born male, my intrinsic feelings toward them change, which isn't something I can ultimately control. If I were to have sex with a transman, my mind is going to be constantly telling me "this person was a woman". It doesn't mean I don't like them or wouldn't be good friends with them or anything either. I have no problem using a persons preferred pronouns & referring to them as the gender they identify as, but most trans people are still self-aware enough to know that they're a "trans"-man or a "trans"-woman, rather than just being a "man" or a "woman". And there's nothing wrong with being "trans" anything either to be honest. There's no shame in being trans, so I'm not sure why some people find it offensive to be referred to as such.

I think real transphobia comes from a conscious effort to discriminate towards trans folks, which I refuse to do because I don't have anything against them. But just like that girl that came onto me in middle school, I cannot control my intrinsic reactions towards someone, especially once they are making sexual advances toward me.

And there's plenty of straight/bi men out there who'd happily date a trans women or a trans man, so I don't think me being gay & only into biological males is causing anyone to lose out on anything. Not to mention I'm basically ghetto-married at this point, so I'm not really on the dating market anyway. lol

Not only do I not mind trans people, but I also love me some good drag queens. Not the girly, beauty pageant type though. lol But actors like Divine are a big inspiration for me. I would even consider myself "non-binary" in some ways, although I don't really use that kind of language. I don't consider human behaviors to be "male" or "female" really, I think it's just "human". For example, I have no problem being sensitive, emotional, cleaning the house, wearing nail polish, eye-liner, being a little flamboyant if I feel like it... lol Some people would call those "girly" traits. But to me, I think they're just "human traits". This idea that men need to be strong & not show any emotions has been harmful to mens physical & mental well-being.

Obviously trans people & drag queens are two different things, but my point is just that I'm not bothered by gender bending or people going against cultural norms. In fact I find it inspiring at times, especially when it comes to art, performance art, film & acting, etc..

Anyways, I'll some times lose attraction to men I think are really hot if I find out they've been with someone else that I don't find attractive. Cause then picturing them with that unattractive person makes me uncomfortable. Also not something I can really control.
 
Quietly sipping my homemade morning mocha while taking this thread in LOL

...

As a trans person I don't give a fuck if someone isn't interested in me but they are generally interested in other women. Just don't be fucking weird about it, right? Chances are I'd find them just as ugly as they find me I'm just not as entertained by saying it to their face, right? Ahahaha

The only person in my life who was ever so caught on genital preferences that it crossed into harmful territory was another trans person but I'll save that story for another time. :awkward::phew:
 
Definitely controversial but if we can get back on track, meaning the original OP

Sexual Preferences vs "Transphobia" phobia indicates a fear. what about a matter of preference which has nothing to do fear>​

 
M!$TER-ED said:
Definitely controversial but if we can get back on track, meaning the original OP

Sexual Preferences vs "Transphobia" phobia indicates a fear. what about a matter of preference which has nothing to do fear>​

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Fear?

Dawg if I told you 1+2=4 would you be afraid of me? Or would you question my motivation and mental state?
 
M!$TER-ED said:
Definitely controversial but if we can get back on track, meaning the original OP

Sexual Preferences vs "Transphobia" phobia indicates a fear. what about a matter of preference which has nothing to do fear>​

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Why is it wrong for someone else to experience "fear"? I would choose a different word, personally. But why is that inherently wrong?

How can someone else dictate what another person should or should not be fearful of?

Frankly the way my own party describes their enemies is highly reminiscent of fascism. The conservatives are nuts and wrong about many things I equally hate them over, but the Trans movement is tripping over its own feet... and has been since it's inception.
 
M!$TER-ED said:
The title itself is biased. it assumes a preference not being trans is classified as a phobia. @Ozymandeus if I offend you it is not intentional, truthfully I really don't understand. When I volunteered to mod BL I was put here on SLR, The only I have going related to SLR is I'm happily married for 46 years. I'm definitely not an expert on sex. If I mess up, it is because of ignorance, nothing more.
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Don't worry about it man you're dipping your toes into years of brackish water.
 
According to merriam-webster dictionary Phobia is an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation.

Read the OP title of this thread. I think the title is misleading
 
I think the trans movement should take some inspiration from the gay movement in the 80s/90s

Seek legal representation first. Social acceptance will follow.
 
I had no idea that Tina in the new Carrie used to be a guy, totally bamboozled. Good thing I only thought she was an annoying bitchy teenager and not sexy or attracted to her because then I'd be all embarassed and worried about my sexual masculinity.
 
Is a shallow and narrow reason transphobic? My opinion is no it's not - not alone and by itself.

I don't think attacking someone who has a different view and expecting them to change their view is fair. If they aren't going up and punching people in the face or spreading hate then why does it matter really
 
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