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Sexless Relationships.

I think once you enjoy being alone, you can be more picky. I think I've finally realized that after 37 years dating losers. LOL
 
I have absolutely no problem waiting an extend period of time to initiate physical contact, even if it meant not kissing, holding hands, etc. a year. Even longer if I know that they were as devoted to sustaining the relationship and allowing it to come full force at some point, like I would be, with no reservations about how long that may take. If there is enough of a connection in every facet besides sexual (there still needs to be sexual attraction of course), I see no reason why waiting would be an issue. Maybe I am fine with this, even being a 22 year old male, because I connect sexual activity as something more than a fun activity that can have little meaning but receiving pleasure. I want the sexual activities I engage in to have that extra release of neurotransmitters, hormones, and other biological signal transduction mechanisms, resulting in more than a intense sensation of pleasure. I want our bodies to sync, creating a unbelievable bond with each other and increase our feelings/understanding of love for each other.

I was happy to pass on meaningless sex in college, even if that meant that I have been sexless for year. I feel I'll be rewarded when I fall into the opportunity I actually want to say yes to.

(fyi, no I'm not a virgin, or some hardcore christian that believes in no sex before marriage)
 
Lysis said:
Wow, I've never heard that. Has a doctor diagnosed it? What is that called?
Click to expand...

well i went to GP 3 years ago when i lived in northern ireland.

I said "hey doc i think there is something wrong with my prostate"
"Nonsense he replied. it is impossible you are too young, you are only 17"
He sent me off for a cystoscopy (not the first one in my life Urghh) So fucking painful i nearly blacked out first 5 times i pee'd lol

They found nothing, then i was basically left 'undiagnosed'

3 years later, a failed marriage, moved back to england, going to toilet once or twice a night at 20 years old, and painful ejaculation (the more fun i have the worse it can be basically) started taking creatine for a couple of days to build up muscle, Only to find it left me with pain that felt like a knife cutting between my legs when I pee'd

Looked it up, and its a problem to do with prostate flaring up, which is aggravated by :
- Vigorous exercise
- bike riding
- sex/ masturbation
- acidic foods/drinks
- alcohol
- spicy foods
- too much sugar
- ?caffeine? noone is sure on that one.

(not impressed by health service by now)

went to doctors in england
"hey doc Im serious i have a problem with my prostate, you must do an exam right now"
"your young, but of course ill do it, Yes its inflamed and tender" It hurt quite a bit when he touched my prosate and it felt a bit like peeing/ejaculating as he did, it was a not very pleasant sensation.

Lol my wife thought i was going off her and all that shit, but truth was it really fucking hurt to have sex :(

What it does:

- Painful burning like sensation upon ejaculation and can last for hours after
- 'dribbling' sperm for hours after intercourse/mastubation
- constant need to urinate
- dehydration caused by frequent urination (my lips are like a speed users and my skin is all drying out i drink 2litres of water a day too)


was put on 28 day course of doxycycline, (antibiotic)
that didn't work...
trying 'Broccoli protocol'
That is sort of working but not quite..
http://www.chronicprostatitis.com/broccoli.html

The doctor said we will have to arrange a biopsy if antibiotics dont work.
Which they dont.

I find valium helps me with it, but i never ever take valium more than one day on the trot EVER.

So its more than likely to be chronic prostatitis.
Ive read from a few others who have had the biopsy done
"dont get the biopsy done, it just causes scarring and makes it even worse, also if you have cancerous cells in there, they will spread"

Hmmm.... This really scares me off going back to the doctors.

recently ive been getting cold shivers/ feeling really cold for few hours, then feeling urge to urinate quite badly but then not peeing loads anyway.


forever-alone.jpg
 
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darkside, that is just weird. I've heard of prostatitis and its issues. I don't even know what to say, except I did not think it was cancer? Isn't it completely unrelated.
 
Lysis said:
Wow, I've never heard that. Has a doctor diagnosed it? What is that called?

I could probably be OK without having sex like a rabbit, but I need affection. Recent happenings at the Lysis household have me realizing that I don't think my relationship is going to work out, and not having sex is meh, but not having any affection or intimacy at all has me really feeling trapped and very unhappy. I don't think I could live happily without any kind of emotion or just basic affection from someone. Sex equates to a strong bond with someone, so it almost feels like I'm separated from him. We're basically great friends, but there is basically no emotion, support or affection, and for me, it's a terrible existence. Not sure what I'm going to do about it, but I digress.

I could probably love and be happy with a person with a low sex drive, but someone without any kind of emotion or affection towards the other person would (is atm) make me feel very unhappy. No sex at all, and I can guarantee I would cheat on the person, and I really don't ever want to do that.

I'm also thinking perhaps my partner has some kind of autism or asperger's or something. I don't understand how someone can be so non-affectionate with someone they supposedly love.
Click to expand...

I feel like you've described aspects of my relationship.

Unfortunately someone can be a great companion and fail to stir your juices.. At that point you have to decide whether you're willing to accept one and not the other. I've had amazing sexual experiences with people who I couldn't stand living with, and I've spent extended amounts of time with people who I couldn't fuck with a fistful of Viagra.

Finding both of these things in a partner almost seems impossible, especially after a few years of letting things cool off. Maybe it has something to do with getting older.
 
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Two litres? Maybe drink a bit more, at least?
Click to expand...

Then i pee even more then,

Im just sick of this problem with my prostate its complex, and it does mean ill struggle to get and stay in a relationship for sure.


Prostatitis and prostate cancer or not related illnesses Lysis,
prostatitis is more of an annoyance, and its very difficult to treat.
Strangely enough though, valium works well on it.
 
Well said.
SplatChrome said:
I have absolutely no problem waiting an extend period of time to initiate physical contact, even if it meant not kissing, holding hands, etc. a year. Even longer if I know that they were as devoted to sustaining the relationship and allowing it to come full force at some point, like I would be, with no reservations about how long that may take. If there is enough of a connection in every facet besides sexual (there still needs to be sexual attraction of course), I see no reason why waiting would be an issue. Maybe I am fine with this, even being a 22 year old male, because I connect sexual activity as something more than a fun activity that can have little meaning but receiving pleasure. I want the sexual activities I engage in to have that extra release of neurotransmitters, hormones, and other biological signal transduction mechanisms, resulting in more than a intense sensation of pleasure. I want our bodies to sync, creating a unbelievable bond with each other and increase our feelings/understanding of love for each other.

I was happy to pass on meaningless sex in college, even if that meant that I have been sexless for year. I feel I'll be rewarded when I fall into the opportunity I actually want to say yes to.

(fyi, no I'm not a virgin, or some hardcore christian that believes in no sex before marriage)
Click to expand...
 
I'm sorry kitten but i've been with someone like this. It's not about you, it's about him. His other girlfriends didn't leave him JUST because he couldn't get it up they left him because he is a serial cheat who prefers porn and his hand to his girlfriends. I don't believe this is a medical problem at all. A psychological one yes, but he doesn't want to stop, why he wants a girlfriend at all is beyond me. I think he needs the companionship, I think this because my ex had the same sort of behaviour. You need to leave him and find someone who cares about your needs.

No sex would be fine if it was something you both wanted and it wasn't really about the fact that he prefers masturbating to a fantasy than enjoying his reality.
 
Cyc said:
I feel like you've described aspects of my relationship.

Unfortunately someone can be a great companion and fail to stir your juices.. At that point you have to decide whether you're willing to accept one and not the other. I've had amazing sexual experiences with people who I couldn't stand living with, and I've spent extended amounts of time with people who I couldn't fuck with a fistful of Viagra.

Finding both of these things in a partner almost seems impossible, especially after a few years of letting things cool off. Maybe it has something to do with getting older.
Click to expand...

Amen, brotha. For me, I could probably be OK with someone with a low sex drive, but someone who has no affection or emotion at all is the kicker. It sucks, and I've cried about it a few times lately. There's nothing I can do other than tell him to move out, and we *are* good friends, so I'm stuck between kicking him out or just living miserably, and I can't live with a completely emotionless partner.

I thought at first he was just shy or afraid around me or something, but it's 9 months later, and all I've had in the last 2 months is a hug, and the only reason he asked for a hug was because I'm pretty sure it's getting obvious that I'm unhappy.

I was thinking about opening a thread, because I wonder if he has some kind of autism? I don't know. I've never met someone so utterly non-affectionate. He says he loves me, but I don't know how that can be.

Sex doesn't equate to love, but it just seems like if you love someone, maybe sex is painful or hard, but you would think the person would at least be affectionate on some level.
 
addictivepersona said:
^ Was he ever affectionate towards you? (Not meaning to sound harsh/rude.)
Click to expand...

This. It DID take addip quite a while to warm up and be able to be affectionate. Maybe ask him about his childhood and if he was ever shown affection as a kid? Make it into a discussion.

If his answers and responses are not clicking, then maybe it's time to move on.
 
-Kitten said:
It's not up to me... it's up to his dick sadly. It took me months to understand it isn't me but he truely has a issue. His idea is our realtionship will be something like this:

Cuddles and hugs.
Kissing.
Carressing.
Him touching me and me touching him.
Sucking etc.
Him jacking off.......
Everything but intercourse.

To be this will be losing all our Passion ( or me losing it all... :( ), I won't even want him to touch me, kiss me, after a while like ( a week?) bc I don't want to get all having a lost hope of maybe having sex. I love him. So i said fine... but it took me along time to agree but, when we do have sex he can't stay up and won't cum, it's been like this all his life he doesn't know why niether do the docs.

I'm not sure if I would handle this....It would feel like being a young teenager... doing everything but real sex. I can't cheat on him i adore him... I went through MONTHS of up and downs with him, as some of you may have read past posts you might know. We fixed a lot of things but sex will never be fixed.

Theres no point to have it if he gets nothing and won't stay hard after a bit.

All that ^^then the fact that I'm most frustrated about is that while I'm dying of not frustration but a desire for his body he will just not give a damn and be able to jack off with his little porno while i sit aside recieving jack shit.
Click to expand...

im not trying to insult anyone but have you considered that he may be gay? or maybe he has an internet porn problem. i have heard of guys who are so into porn that they are unable to perform during irl sex
 
darksidedsam said:
well i went to GP 3 years ago when i lived in northern ireland.

I said "hey doc i think there is something wrong with my prostate"
"Nonsense he replied. it is impossible you are too young, you are only 17"
He sent me off for a cystoscopy (not the first one in my life Urghh) So fucking painful i nearly blacked out first 5 times i pee'd lol

They found nothing, then i was basically left 'undiagnosed'
3 years later, a failed marriage, moved back to england, going to toilet once or twice a night at 20 years old, and painful ejaculation (the more fun i have the worse it can be basically) started taking creatine for a couple of days to build up muscle, Only to find it left me with pain that felt like a knife cutting between my legs when I pee'd

Looked it up, and its a problem to do with prostate flaring up, which is aggravated by :
- Vigorous exercise
- bike riding
- sex/ masturbation
- acidic foods/drinks
- alcohol
- spicy foods
- too much sugar
- ?caffeine? noone is sure on that one.

(not impressed by health service by now)

went to doctors in england
"hey doc Im serious i have a problem with my prostate, you must do an exam right now"
"your young, but of course ill do it, Yes its inflamed and tender" It hurt quite a bit when he touched my prosate and it felt a bit like peeing/ejaculating as he did, it was a not very pleasant sensation.

Lol my wife thought i was going off her and all that shit, but truth was it really fucking hurt to have sex :(

What it does:

- Painful burning like sensation upon ejaculation and can last for hours after
- 'dribbling' sperm for hours after intercourse/mastubation
- constant need to urinate
- dehydration caused by frequent urination (my lips are like a speed users and my skin is all drying out i drink 2litres of water a day too)


was put on 28 day course of doxycycline, (antibiotic)
that didn't work...
trying 'Broccoli protocol'
That is sort of working but not quite..
http://www.chronicprostatitis.com/broccoli.html

The doctor said we will have to arrange a biopsy if antibiotics dont work.
Which they dont.

I find valium helps me with it, but i never ever take valium more than one day on the trot EVER.

So its more than likely to be chronic prostatitis.
Ive read from a few others who have had the biopsy done
"dont get the biopsy done, it just causes scarring and makes it even worse, also if you have cancerous cells in there, they will spread"

Hmmm.... This really scares me off going back to the doctors.

recently ive been getting cold shivers/ feeling really cold for few hours, then feeling urge to urinate quite badly but then not peeing loads anyway.


forever-alone.jpg
Click to expand...

OK you need to quite Googling and start visiting SPECIALISTS, there are also specialists for prostate cancer!
it sound at least as a medical students like you might have something MORE serious going on with your prostate, and a biopsy will be the only way to detect if their is any inflammation, infection, or cancerous cells in your prostate
All the symptoms you describe sounds like those of prostate cancr.
Difficulty urinating
Pain while urinating
Frequent urination
Trouble starting and stopping your stream
Loss of bladder control
Frequent urination at night
And you better run to the hospital If there is blood in the urine
Your post really concerns me, and if or when you feel extreme pain and distress go to the hospital they will do all sorts of diagnostic tests
This sounds a bit more serious the just inflamation of the prostate
How odd is it i did a presentation on prostate cancer today .

Back to the op
GIRL! get youR mind together ! Your life right now sounds like a mess
You want sex, You don't want it,your confused, your boyfriend has cheated on you, you if I'm not mistaken have had some past issues with sex that were discussed in another thread. You should seek therapy
It is obvious your down on yourself right now! And it shows most in your relationship
Your sticking around with a loser
Can a sexless relationship work? Yes!why not? If the person suffers a medical conditions and your there struggling and feeling for their pain, just because your too worried about the persons health and even at that it would be hard to not fall in temptation
Doesn't sound like he has any medical condition or maybe even a mental psychological condition because he was able to fuck well enough when he did you in :/
 
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the pain comes and goes, Its not a pain as in 'arghh im in agony im dieing' but randomly comes on sometimes when i pee or ejaculate, especially after sex. Nearly always after sex in fact.

No blood, none whatsoever, thats why im not too alarmed.
 
But this is exactly what they have thought us in school
Patients wait too long to seek medical attention, do to fear or lack of medical education. But I'm telling you right now your body gives you signs when something is wrong many wait but the longer you wait the harder it will be to reverse damage once a condition has reached it's peak then it's to late! You know their is something wrong how much worse are you gonna let it get before you really get scared. With good medical attention a lot can be fixed or controlled
It could be something silly or it could be serious! you don't know.. but you have to find out So you can get treatment and have a better sex life, get better PERIOD!
Pm if you need info
 
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