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Septsober - The September gettn and stayn sober thread

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boredom is a bitch indeed. boredom more than anything is what gets me stuck inside my own head. I usually just force myself to work on producing music, even if I don't really feel like it... once I get a workflow going, problem solved.

so basically the moral of the story is, force yourself to do something you know you love doing, cuz chances are you'll suddenly find that you've been super focused on it an hour later haha
 
Bordem indeed sucks.

Especially when you feel like you don't love doing anything.


I been fantasizing a lot lately, about using drugs without consequences. I know it's impossible for me to do, which makes it all the more depressing to think about.

Can't control your using and enjoy it, nor enjoy it and control it. It's one or the other.
 
Day 20 clean, would've been almost 60 if it wasn't for my one slip up but what can ya do. I'm just happy that I was able to relapse and then stop again right after. The past few weeks have been really tough though, especially after my grandmother's death, i've thought about saying fuck it and going back to using heroin several times. PAWS really blows and seems never ending but I have a strong motivation to stay clean that been keeping me going. One week i'm restless and have too much energy, the next i'm extremely fatigued, bored, and depressed. I need to start to going to more meetings and join the gym that would help alot with my unpredictable emotions. It's been a shitty roller coaster ride but i'm thinking the end result will be well worth all the pain :)

Also, I came off a three month 2mg a day benzo habit in a week using a taper at detox. I was scared shitless expecting the worse but honestly it was a breeze, getting off opiates was 10x harder. My habit wasn't that bad though but don't let the benzo horror stories scare you ad lib...a good taper at detox or from a good doctor shouldn't be too bad at all especially considering the fact that you quit opiates CT :)
 
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Nobody forget to give ourselves the amazing credit due.. we are all the shit<3

Good-Night-all.jpg






Here is a great website for free audio books.. helps me to fall asleep.. >>> Books Should Be Free​
 
I'm measuring in years now. Year and a half of clever thinking. The stories are coming along well. I wrote about cleaning a ladies pool in a speedo because she had a hired help fetish. Its hard to imagine now that I would demean myself so to support my habit.

^^^awesome pagey, your almost through the worst part. Surround yourself with love.
 
I'm workin through day 137! :)

Keep at it guys! I'm so happy for everyone here. I'm thinking about changing my avatar to a 6 month chip a month and a half from now, god willing.
 
neversickanymore said:
EDIT: So an old friend OD.. pills and booze.. alone in a hotel room. Was a little shaken up last night and this post was a mess. I'm doing better today. But i worry that this is going to get allot more common here for awhile. But its the only one for a feew years.. the last one was fuzzy I think.. finally had gotten clean of the benzos, meht and booze.. his brother found him dead on the couch and we all thought that he had relapsed.. but when they did the autopsy he was totally clean.. to many years of hard living.. just a real shame to see someone finally done with the benzo tapper and really really happy.. then they are gone.. live every day like its your last as someday it will be.
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I just saw this edit :( sending much <3 to you neversick
 
Hi, friends.

Been a while since I've bothered to mess with Bluelight. Been busy with family and work. I'm on day oh, maybe 52 or something? lol Can't say it was all me, since when I wanted to relapse I was too broke to do it.

Glad to have made it this far, and it's definitely been good for the body and mind. Won't lie and say I haven't been thinking about it, especially since I'm in that danger zone (there's always that danger zone after getting healthy for a while--you know, the "one night won't hurt since I've been so good" danger zone.)

Caught up a bit and read all the ups and downs everyone's going through. Praying and thinking positively for all of you. Peace!
 
Thanks, you're sweet. I gave myself 10 extra days. Checked the calendar and counted and I'm 42. That's cool though. :D

FEELS like 52.

We're practically on the same timeline, then, Stardust. Congrats on 37.
 
Just A Guy said:
Thanks, you're sweet. I gave myself 10 extra days. Checked the calendar and counted and I'm 42. That's cool though. :D

FEELS like 52.

We're practically on the same timeline, then, Stardust. Congrats on 37.
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Congrats to you! <3 We're in it together, we have basically the same amount of time. It feels like shit a lot of the time but it's also starting to feel even and good. We can't let it slip out from between our fingers. We have to hold onto our days, together. <3
 
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