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Self Medication: mental illness and the use of drugs.

Znegative

Znegative

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
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NYC/Oakland/Columbus OH
This may seem a little bit personal, but have any of you abused drugs, only to later find out that you've been self medicating an undiagnosed mental illness/disorder? Have you been diagnosed and tried to receive treatment for your problem, only to find that the prescribed medications offered were not effective and returned to using?

Almost all addicts that I have met have been afflicted with some kind of mental condition, be it ADHD, Bi-Polar or PTSD, that they've tried to numb with the "misuse" of illegal or Pharmaceutical drugs (prescribed or not).This theory of trying to treat disorders with drugs of recreational value is referred to as the Self-Medication Hypothesis.

Here is another article I found to be interesting regarding the co-occurrence of substance abuse and mental illness due to certain disturbances in the brain.

Anyway, I'm interested in your responses and oppinion's regarding SMH/dual diagnosis, so please post away!
 
Very good <3
And how many of you just felt like trying drugs. Not really to self medicate but just had something in them which pushed them towards drugs. (Im talking to the people with ADD or ADHD)
 
I manipulated my way into getting benzos (sort of) and was dx'd with GAD by my psych doc. Even with though my therapist's know's my drug abuse history, she still thinks I fit the dx of GAD as well as Borderline Personality Disorder. I have my doubts that I really have GAD, maybe, just doesn't seem that severe. BPD seems to fit me very well, though. I think dx's are often not of much use, and often a professional will make a dx just because he/she has to for insurance purposes or just because. A look at symptomology instead of labeling can often be more helpful IMO, but some sets of symptomology to tend to reccur (sp?) quite frequently hence dx's. I do know I have self-medicated, yes, but a lot of my drug use has been for pure recreation. It is a very grey area.
 
This is an issue that has been on my mind a lot lately. I am 19.5 but for the past 4 years I have been medicating pretty heavily with weed and then, most recently with kratom. You may not think much of kratom but for me at least, a person with little experience with opioids (thankfully), it was immediately my drug of choice. I was so happy, relaxed and confident on kratom that I began using it pretty regularly. Again, thankfully, kratom is not very addictive and I have gone sober recently after going to the ER for suicidal thoughts and depression. I have probably had major depression all my life and its pretty clear looking back on what should have been a very happy childhood that I was at risk for addiction. At first I was able to just pretend all my usage of weed and psychedelics was for fun and experimentation only but how many times does one need to "experiment" with a drug? Anyway, I am starting to realize that depression has had a major impact on my entire life and I am just starting to go on sertraline (zoloft). I feel like addiction, for some people at least, starts before drug use. I am one of those people since as soon as drugs came into my surrondings in high school, I was hooked on the entire idea and then of course, the actual substance itself. Opioids especially are tempting. I know, so clearly, from bluelight and my own research that they are not to mess with if you have depression or other underlying mental illness. Yet part of me is always and probably will always be drawn towards this blissfull yet terrible group of drugs. I am just so thankful that I have a great family and support system to help me through my issues because if I didn't, I would definitely be a heroin addict sooner or later.
 
I think you've got a decent amount of wisdom for your age.
Just wanted to say that..
and Kratom is absolutely addictive and comes with it's own w/d.
I haven't suffered from this, but know ppl who have.
Just something to keep in mind.
I absolutely have self-medicated. I've also been quite recreational at times.;)
<3token
 
I have had a long history of drug use. I didn't get into drugs until late in high school. By then I had suffered with anxiety for years. The doctor I went to thought I was a drug addict and refused to give me benzos when I was 15. I didn't use drugs till after he refused to treat me. In hindsight I should have seen another doctor... I also have ADD pretty badly and occassional depression. I use marijuana as a sort of mood stablizer and anxiety med. I find it's much better than just taking a bunch of pills. I finally see a psychiatrist now and I now only use drugs recreationally. Once I got treated I no longer wanted to get high all the time. If your addicted to drugs, try seeing a psychiatrist. It can't hurt and may make all the difference.
 
I've been self-medicating with opiates, alcohol and cannabis for anxiety and legally (prescribed) medicating for it with benzos for years now...
 
Cannabis! Its literally the perfect treatment for my depression, social anxiety, non existant appetite, and sleep onset insomnia that have developed over the past 2-8 years. I say 2-8 because the depression and social anxiety (anywhere between 6-8 years ago is when I first started showing symptoms although I wasnt aware of them at the time) developed far before my sleep and appetite problems (which have unfolded in the last 2 years following my period of Meth abuse). I had unexplainable chronic shoulder pain for over a year that was also significantly decreased when I smoked but this just randomly disappeared pretty recently, Im not even sure what happened. Unfortunately Im unable to smoke everyday for financial and physiological reasons. I feel dumbed down after 2-3 weeks of regular smoking (not just daily but even with 1-3 days break in between uses) and I get intense cravings for herb, so Im forced to take a few weeks up to a few months of breaks in between.
 
I guess I'll add a bit of my own experience down here. I was diagnosed with OCD (the debilitating type) when I was ten and put on sertraline. It helped with a lot of the symptoms but I still felt anxious and depressed, so when I was a teenager I just stoped taking it, and began drinking alchohol and smoking weed instead. Those two substances worked for a while, but the weed eventually made me more anxious, and I just couldn't take the exhaustion that drinking left me with. So when I was eighteen my pot dealer started dealing heroin, and of course, it was the best anti-depressant I ever took. Too bad it's illegal, physically addictive and extremely stygmatized.

I wish that I had experienced some kind of breakthrough realization on psychedelic's, but I never did.
 
I've been using drugs since I found out you could get high on Robitussin when I was 14 >.> But I started using a lot of benzos and opiates in high school, along with the DXM and some others in between. And in college, I've started drinking a lot more. I was first diagnosed with major depression last year, and then my psychiatrist thought I may be bipolar, but now my diagnosis is borderline personality disorder. And I think that diagnosis fits - I had suspected that might be the closest label for my issues for a few years now. I'm not sure how much of my drug use can be considered self-medication and how much of it is purely recreational - it's often somewhere in between. And a lot of it is also just a side effect of my incredible impulsivity. Anyway, it's hard to say.
 
i'm not sure if it's a mental illness or a lack of love or both

ive been in love before and during those periods i had no cravings

drugs are something to love

i feel like if i were mentally healthy i wouldn't use any drugs, not even the legal ones
 
^ Your post is giving me deja vu. I know I've seen it before..lol.

Unfortunately I, in my life, have self diagnosed & self medicated myself.
 
I completely agree! I was an addict for years now I have high anxiety and some depression I am so up and down I don't know which way I am going. My doc won't give me the meds I need I have taken 6 psychology classes and it has just confused the shit out of me I can diagnose others but when I look at myself I don't know what I am.... I am tired all the time but anxious to so I have been self medicating taking a half of a colanipin every night just to sleep... well not to night I am trying to get motivated to clean my kitchen but since I have been in love he makes me forget about the things I usually spend my day worrying over it's when he is not with me I feel all those things again like I am leading a double life....

I was trying not to vent on you

we meet again
 
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Got dragged to the doctors by my mum (AFTER I kicked my 1 year Oxy habit, no less) for drug addiction, only to be diagnosed with severe clinical depression, hence the opiate addiction. Pretty rad doctor, didn't judge me for what I did/am doing, saw the bigger reasons. Still not clear of it yet, wonder if I ever will be to be honest.
 
I was thinking about this today, actually, so I'm glad the thread came up...

I feel like I've always been pretty depressed with self-esteem issues and whatever else; I think that I tried so hard to hold it down on my own and go about the day-to-day without medication, then, one day, I just felt so exhausted by it all that I stopped caring... and so into the world of drugs I dove, head-first...
 
This is a really interesting topic. I know you're specifically talking about people self-medicating a mental illness they have, of which they may or may not have a clinical diagnosis. But this whole topic gets kinda blurry because it's hard to determine
a) what people are actually medicating a mental disease and trying to function "normally," and what people are chasing the euphoric properties of the drug and/or have convinced themselves that this drug is allowing them to function "normally."
b) What mental diseases lay dormant prior to drug use and were actually exacerbated by the use of drugs, and what mental diseases would've manifested themselves irrespective of drug use.

I remember hearing that up to 50% of people who have a drug addiction also have another mental illness. I always wondered whether or not I medicated my depression with opiates or if that's just the excuse I made so I could keep getting high. You can't really interpret your own situation objectively.
 
i abuse opiates, benzos, amps, weed, and NMDA-antaognists for depression, anxiety, and ADD relief.

i just feel more me on drugs, if that makes sense? it's kind of contradictory because usually people aren't themselves on drugs, i am just a much more social and thus more happier person on drugs. well this goes both ways because sometimes i want to nodd out on my couch alone, but other times i want to go out and experience the world, spend good times with friends laughing my ass off, ect...

i don't think addiction is a disease, but rather a disorder used to classify people who have some other type of disorder
 
Yeah, I relate to what you're saying Lacster. I feel like on CERTAIN drugs (not IV cocaine for instance), I feel as if I am actually at my highest functioning ability. To be honest, the drug I'm thinking of is Xanax, not heroin (though I prefer the latter). I'm a rather introverted guy by nature, and because of that, I can get pretty lonely. Alprazolam has always made me feel more sociable, energetic, and at ease. When I take benzo's (at an appropriate dose that won't result in a humiliating blackout), I feel more able to stand up for myself and speak my mind.

I also have been diagnosed With ADD, though my current psychiatrist will not dispense any stimulant medications to me. I definately suffer from a lack of motivation, and my prioritys have always been pretty fucked my whole life.

There is a point though where I am just chasing a high though. IV cocaine, MDMA, Mephedrone etc... None of those drugs ever provided me with any sort of feeling of "stability" or seemed to fill up any hole in my life. I rather just chase the rush, or want to have a "good time". On the whole though, I do feel like my drug use has been some type of tool that I try to use to function or survive more comfortably in my environment.
 
dude, i'm the same way on xanax (or any benzo). if i take a low dosage like 1-2mgs and go to a party or hangout with people, i am the life of the party. people seem to gravitate towards me and i am confident and social.

i am an introverted guy aswell, i find it hard to make and keep friends, so anything that helps me get out of my head and have a good time socially i fucking love!!! anything that stops me from over-analyzing what i say and do, and gets me very talkative i gravitate towards. i love the feeling of being that social and people-loving guy i've always wanted to be.

i also project onto people that are out-going and fun-loving. i tend to hang around them because those are the qualities i want, and i hope they will rub off onto me hahaha. though the reality is that i am truely not that type of person, and i have a hard time socially because most of the time, i want to talk to people and have fun, but i don't want to put the effort, if that makes sense? but when i'm on those drugs that make me, me then i want to talk my mouth off and laugh and have fun with others

there is also the side of my drug use that includes the rush which typically comes from opiates for me. this involves using drugs simply for the sake of getting high.
 
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