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Self Medication: mental illness and the use of drugs.

Man, that's exactly what the kratom did for me. I could be completely fine if I was on my own, just nodding out to Velvet Underground but usually I would just go talk to people and socialize like I usually don't. It certainly helped with my social anxiety for a while. Now I'm on sertraline and won't be touching anything for a while but once I get off of this, I'm thinking when summer begins, I will go back to drugs. This time though I will try to use recreationally only. I'll see how that works out.
 
Good thread
I think most people manage the tough business of being human with either brain altering substances (Booze, weed, a cuppa tea, Mushrooms...etc...)
or brain altering activities (Sports, yoga...)
or brain altering experiences (of god, of ghosts, of music...)

I've been using a combination of the above all my life just to get by.
 
laCster said:
dude, i'm the same way on xanax (or any benzo). if i take a low dosage like 1-2mgs and go to a party or hangout with people, i am the life of the party. people seem to gravitate towards me and i am confident and social.

i am an introverted guy aswell, i find it hard to make and keep friends, so anything that helps me get out of my head and have a good time socially i fucking love!!! anything that stops me from over-analyzing what i say and do, and gets me very talkative i gravitate towards. i love the feeling of being that social and people-loving guy i've always wanted to be.

i also project onto people that are out-going and fun-loving. i tend to hang around them because those are the qualities i want, and i hope they will rub off onto me hahaha. though the reality is that i am truely not that type of person, and i have a hard time socially because most of the time, i want to talk to people and have fun, but i don't want to put the effort, if that makes sense? but when i'm on those drugs that make me, me then i want to talk my mouth off and laugh and have fun with others

there is also the side of my drug use that includes the rush which typically comes from opiates for me. this involves using drugs simply for the sake of getting high.
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I can relate so much to that, reasonable doses of xanax have the same effect on me. Benzos make me feel how I imagine everyone else feels all the time.
 
I have Social Anxiety issues. I find sometimes I don't like to do anything on my weekends but just stay home take my opiates and just unwind brain. Alcohol helps but I rarely drink and Weed doesn't help my anxiety at all.
 
I've been diagnosed with Panic Disorder and Depression. I'm sure there is some PTSD and OCD in there, but I focus on the panic attacks and depression mostly with my psychiatrist. The diagnoses came after the drug use started. I got SSRIs and benzos, etc, rx'd but then I couldn't stop the "recreational" drugs I'd already started. The SSRIs did nothing for my anxiety and actually increased my neuroses. I've stolen my dad's Klonopin script back when he lived here (he never took it) and now I have one of my very own. (Aww, daddy's little girl.) Social anxiety/generalized anxiety, etc have always been a part of my personality. I started with cocaine, alcohol and marijuana in high school... I guess to mask extreme depression and low self-esteem and to make socializing easier. I smoke marijuana almost every day because of my terrible insomnia. I have some weird OCD issues where I have to always do things in groups of 5 and when walking upstairs, always end with my right foot on the landing. There are more obsessions but opiates relieve me of those. I took a class called "Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs" and the comorbidity of substance abuse and mental illness is ridiculously high... like 75% or something. So it's definitely not weird or unheard of to self-medicate with illicit drugs.
 
I have had anxiety issues since my early teens. I have been diagnosed by a doctor, and also self-diagnosed the same: GAD. I'm taking an antipsychotic and an SSRI currently, but they're not really breaking the main issue: pronounced concern of daily issues, and racing thoughts related to that. I've self-medicated myself earlier with benzos and opiates, and then been labeled as a recreational drug user by health care professionals. Only once I've had a prescription that helped: alprazolam. I'm still struggling, because I'm not prescribed the kind of medication that would be useful for me, and I'm waiting for the day I finally am. I've read everything about addiction and withdrawal, but I would really choose it, if it would make my life easier. Doctors just keep telling, that benzos are addictive, but with my current regimen of an antipsychotic and an SSRI I'm taking for life - I don't really think it would be a concern.
 
Yeah, I know how you feel^.

I too benefit greatly from benzo's (and opiates, but I'm somewhat realistic in that I know I will never be prescribed oxycodone for anxiety haha), and I think it's annoying that doctors will not write prescriptions for medications that could greatly help an individual based on his/her "recreational substance abuse". I've noticed though that a lot of people I know who are in some kind of treatment program will still get prescribed stimulants for ADD, and it's always bothered me because 1)I could use a medication like that, and 2)what makes ADD more debilitating than people with really awful anxiety disorders?

On the other hand though, I do know that while I use benzo's (specifically Xanax) in a way that I consider non-recreational, I still always end up in the course of a few months taking dosages that are far above therapeutic (because like all drugs that work well and work fast, you gain a tolerance). For this reason I can understand why doctors sometimes hesitate to prescribe benzo's, Z-drugs and barbiturates, as withdrawal can be fatal, and they can't legally keep raising your dose past a certain point.
 
Well one thing I know is I have always been addicted to something, since child hood really. A certain online game, even a sport, I would literally spend all my free time on my 1 current addictive activity. Playing online for 8 hours straight and my Other time researching more about the game lol. Then I started bmxing and would spend 10 hours a day at the dirt jumps or skatepark and the rest of my time watching pro videos.

Now I jus kinda research drugs all day and think about the next time ima pick up a gram of blow or something.

I almost become obsessed with the current addiction.
 
i've got chronic depression and OCD tho everything is good right now. i used to drink a lot all the time, then i found drugs (weed) but it didn't really reduce anxiety, just made me relaxed and chill after a whole fucking day of bugging out with rituals etc. then my OCD sorted itself out and i got into mdma, k, speed, brown, coke, LSD, seemingly just for kicks. then i fucked myself a few months ago on too much mdma all summer, crazy depression. now i'm probably in the best place mentally i've been for years and recently started iv h. it doesn't feel like self medication but its not like people make these decisions lightly. i've never really felt addicted to anything besides tobacco (getting an ecig next payday to try cut down eventually quit, still need something for right after banging and to mix with draw) and h. and oddly, i feel more addicted to alcohol than ever and i'm just having a couple drinks a day, but i've never been gagging for it this much before. i guess i still have issues.
 
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