SardonicNihilist
Bluelighter
^^ "..and that's really the most important part, of the reservation!"
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Film & TV Moderators: ghostfreak
Television Seinfeld
- Thread starter dark_angel177
- Start date
twominds
Bluelighter
"Its a hot night, your mind races. You think about your knife, the only friend that hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sun-up" Elaines deranged protoge.
tweekeria
Bluelighter
she's a low talker!
twominds
Bluelighter
"He took ..it out!"
michael
Bluelight Crew
In the boss' office.
Boss: I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
George: Who said that?
Boss: She did.
George: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ingnorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frouned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you peope do that all the time.
Boss: You're fired.
George: Well you didn't have to say it like that.
Boss: I want you out of here by the end of the day.
George: What about the whole Christmas spirit thing? Any flexability there?
Boss: Nah. Wait, wait, she wanted me to give you this.
He tosses the sweater and it lands right on top of George's face. George walks out of the office "wearing" it.
Boss: I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
George: Who said that?
Boss: She did.
George: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ingnorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frouned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you peope do that all the time.
Boss: You're fired.
George: Well you didn't have to say it like that.
Boss: I want you out of here by the end of the day.
George: What about the whole Christmas spirit thing? Any flexability there?
Boss: Nah. Wait, wait, she wanted me to give you this.
He tosses the sweater and it lands right on top of George's face. George walks out of the office "wearing" it.
AmorRoark
Bluelight Crew
ELAINE: I was talking to this guy, you know, and I just happened to throw my purse on the sofa. And my diaphragm goes flying out. So I just froze, you know, ahh! Staring at my diaphragm. You know, it's just lying there. So then, this woman, the one who sold me this hair thing, she grabbed it before the guy noticed, so. I mean, big deal, right? So I carry around my diaphragm, who doesn't? Yeah, like it's a big, big secret that women carry around their diaphragms. You never know when you're gonna need it, right? (Sips the Snapple) Ahh. (talking to Jerry's virgin girlfriend)
BEN: I'm grateful for every moment I have.
GEORGE: Grateful? How can you be grateful when you're so close to the end? When you know that any second-- Poof! Bamm-O! It can all be over. ...
BEN: I guess I just don't care.
GEORGE: What are you talking about? How can you sit there and look me in the eye and tell that me you're not worried?! Don't you have any sense?!! Don't you have a brain!? Are you so completely senile that you don't know what you're talkin about anymore!!?!
BEN: I'm grateful for every moment I have.
GEORGE: Grateful? How can you be grateful when you're so close to the end? When you know that any second-- Poof! Bamm-O! It can all be over. ...
BEN: I guess I just don't care.
GEORGE: What are you talking about? How can you sit there and look me in the eye and tell that me you're not worried?! Don't you have any sense?!! Don't you have a brain!? Are you so completely senile that you don't know what you're talkin about anymore!!?!
Silver7
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2004
- Messages
- 152
"Ukraine is weak? I am from the Ukraine!"
"Hey, we're playing a game pal."
"I take your game and smash it to pieces!"
This might be my favorite episode for one reason and one reason only, Newman running in the sreet full speed after Kramer. He is running to get the game because Kramer's car is being towed. I laugh every damn time and I have seen it like 20 times and always crack up.
"Hey, we're playing a game pal."
"I take your game and smash it to pieces!"
This might be my favorite episode for one reason and one reason only, Newman running in the sreet full speed after Kramer. He is running to get the game because Kramer's car is being towed. I laugh every damn time and I have seen it like 20 times and always crack up.
Silver7
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2004
- Messages
- 152
AmorRoark said:
Great episode, the old man and the teeth in the garbage disposal then Newman and Kramer and his records and the classic goider woman. HAHAHA god damn I love Seinfeld, then George and the cleaning woman on the couch rubbing oil all over his head
tweekeria
Bluelighter
Milosh: You hit like a GIRL! HAHAA!
incident
Bluelighter
Silver7 said:
"The old coot's sittin' on a mountain of gold!" (newman)
SardonicNihilist
Bluelighter
"She steals from me"
tweekeria
Bluelighter
ive never been so repulsed by a woman mentally and attracted to her physically atthe same time. its like my penis and my brain are playing a game of chess.
tweekeria
Bluelighter
Mulva?
....oh!
DELORES!!!!!
....oh!
DELORES!!!!!
michael
Bluelight Crew
JERRY: What kind of pen is that?
JACK: This pen?
JERRY: Yeah.
JACK: This is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space.
JERRY: Wow! That's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?
JACK: Oh it was a gift.
JERRY: Cause sometimes I write in bed and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the pen works.
JACK: Take the pen.
JERRY: Oh no.
JACK: Go ahead.
JERRY: I couldn't
JACK: Come on, take the pen!
JERRY: I can't take it.
JACK: Do me a personal favor!
JERRY: No, I'm not...
JACK: Take the pen!
JERRY: I cannot take it!
JACK: Take the pen!
JERRY: Are you sure?
JACK: Positive! Take the pen!
JERRY: O.K. Thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy!
HELEN: Jack, what are you doing?
JACK: Stop it!
DORIS: Jack, we should go. (they go to the door) It was nice to meeting you.
ELAINE: Mmm, nice to meet you.
JERRY: Thanks again.
JACK: Come on!
DORIS: (to Morty) She's adorable. (they leave)
HELEN: (as soon as the door's closed) What did you take his pen for?
JERRY: What he gave it to me.
HELEN: You didn't have to take it.
MORTY: Oh my God! She's gotta make a big deal out of everything.
JERRY: He offered it to me.
HELEN: Because you made such a big fuss about it.
JERRY: I liked it. Should I have said I didn't like it?
HELEN: You shouldn't have said anything. What did you expect him to do? (the camera shows Elaine shaking her head at their dispute)
JERRY: He could have said: "Thank you, I like it too" and put it back in his pocket.
HELEN: He loves that pen.
MORTY: Oh come on!
HELEN: He talks about it all the time. Every time he takes it out he goes on and on about how it writes upside down, how the astronauts use it.
JERRY: If he likes it so much, he never should have offered it.
HELEN: He didn't think you'd accpet.
JERRY: Well, he was wrong.
HELEN: I know his wife. She has some mouth on her. She'll tell everyone in the condo now that you made him give you the pen. They're talking about it right now. (againe we see Elaine smiling at their argument)
JERRY: So you want me to return it?
HELEN: Yes.
MORTY: He's not gonna return the pen. That's ridiculous.
JERRY: Hey I don't even want the pen now!
MORTY: Jack can afford to give away a pen with all his money. Believe me. He gives me a check for 19.45. He didn't have a Coke. Ho, ho, ho!
ELAINE: Here, let me see it. (She takes a pad to try the pen) Hey, it wrtites upside down.
JACK: This pen?
JERRY: Yeah.
JACK: This is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space.
JERRY: Wow! That's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?
JACK: Oh it was a gift.
JERRY: Cause sometimes I write in bed and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the pen works.
JACK: Take the pen.
JERRY: Oh no.
JACK: Go ahead.
JERRY: I couldn't
JACK: Come on, take the pen!
JERRY: I can't take it.
JACK: Do me a personal favor!
JERRY: No, I'm not...
JACK: Take the pen!
JERRY: I cannot take it!
JACK: Take the pen!
JERRY: Are you sure?
JACK: Positive! Take the pen!
JERRY: O.K. Thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy!
HELEN: Jack, what are you doing?
JACK: Stop it!
DORIS: Jack, we should go. (they go to the door) It was nice to meeting you.
ELAINE: Mmm, nice to meet you.
JERRY: Thanks again.
JACK: Come on!
DORIS: (to Morty) She's adorable. (they leave)
HELEN: (as soon as the door's closed) What did you take his pen for?
JERRY: What he gave it to me.
HELEN: You didn't have to take it.
MORTY: Oh my God! She's gotta make a big deal out of everything.
JERRY: He offered it to me.
HELEN: Because you made such a big fuss about it.
JERRY: I liked it. Should I have said I didn't like it?
HELEN: You shouldn't have said anything. What did you expect him to do? (the camera shows Elaine shaking her head at their dispute)
JERRY: He could have said: "Thank you, I like it too" and put it back in his pocket.
HELEN: He loves that pen.
MORTY: Oh come on!
HELEN: He talks about it all the time. Every time he takes it out he goes on and on about how it writes upside down, how the astronauts use it.
JERRY: If he likes it so much, he never should have offered it.
HELEN: He didn't think you'd accpet.
JERRY: Well, he was wrong.
HELEN: I know his wife. She has some mouth on her. She'll tell everyone in the condo now that you made him give you the pen. They're talking about it right now. (againe we see Elaine smiling at their argument)
JERRY: So you want me to return it?
HELEN: Yes.
MORTY: He's not gonna return the pen. That's ridiculous.
JERRY: Hey I don't even want the pen now!
MORTY: Jack can afford to give away a pen with all his money. Believe me. He gives me a check for 19.45. He didn't have a Coke. Ho, ho, ho!
ELAINE: Here, let me see it. (She takes a pad to try the pen) Hey, it wrtites upside down.
twominds
Bluelighter
^^^^CLASSIC! I love jack.
cravNbeets
Bluelighter
twominds said:Im sorry Mr/Mrs 6500 posts!
i was completing the quote that you started
Kosmo: " I got gonoreahea!"
Jerry: "That seems about right"
oh i've got a hopper, a big hopper
twominds
Bluelighter
^^LOL! Thanks cravNbeets.