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Say something you can't say to their face

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I really did want to help you out by giving you stuff for your supposed new apartment, especially since you said it would be like old times so I may as well move in. I had all these household items packed up and ready to go- pots and pans, dishes, coffee maker, silverware, towels, sheets, blankets, lamps, tv's, besides furniture and dining room set. Then a week later you call me up and tell me you only want the 35 inch flat screen and that's real sketchy. So I think I'm right assuming you didn't move into the apartment and still staying at your mom's, the fact you havn't called back since I told you no confirms this.
 
Why would you, for no discernible reason, accuse me of two actions that were not true?
If not to place some doubt in my mind that I, in fact was lying or unsure?
Unless you are trying to self sabotage this thing?
I know my capabilities, weaknesses and strengths. and its been a journey to discover these.
Please don't fuck with my head.
 
I feel like you're not telling me something. Have I done something or said something?

I wish you wouldn't just clamp up and obsess over your phone cause I don't know what's going on and that really stresses me out
 
"Come round my house at 2am I'll sneak you in and we'll fuck like crazy, I'll get you drunk and fucked on drugs too it'll be a great night" :|
 
"Oh so your gonna take advantage of her when she takes drugs" sorry mate what you think I'm like that? Yep offering me drink first of all I don't drink alcohol. 2nd how much cash did u steal when my so called "mate" held my card. Wait wait yeah corrupted up minds say corrupted up things becase Tim steals from people and you accuse me of trying to take advantage of a woman while she's sitting write there..obviously dickhead she sees it then you know the rest. Fuck you! I was with her for almost two years. Too bad your girl got fucked not once but twice!!

Edit its j m to the mwah
 
what the fuck is wrong with me ..??? why do i put up with your shit all the time and why do you put up with me im sick of this shit... 8 years 2 kids later and we're still trying to make it work whats the point i flirt with you wear skimpy clothes for you.I dont go out because you dont want me to. so i stay home out of respect for you. all the fucking time Is it to much to ask for sex at least once a week... but yes it must be because you turn to your porn and your nude magazines .. im so over feeling like this . just feeling not good enough or not pretty enough. than you have the gall to tell me the magazines and porn isnt yours its your mates wtf are we back in the 70's. i need a key for this cage your locking me in... when we do go out on the rare occasion we/you end up in a fight cause some guy talked to me ... than you tell me i cant go out and its not because you dont trust me you just dont know what the other people are doing and cant trust them... and this hurts so much more typing this out cause I do love you. I just need you to loosen up a bit and stop trying to control every aspect of me.and lay off the porn for a while so we canget our sex life back and if this is to much that im asking you for tell me so i dont waste anymore of my youth away sitting in a box cookin cleanin washin . just to listen to you whinge at me when i dont do it just to sit and wait for you all the time. oh an maybe once a month you reckon you could drop the kids to school do breakfast for them dress them what the heck why dont you actually do a full couple days of chasin round after them why i go play golf and go to the pub with me mates . why are you aloud to do whatever you want but when it comes to me doing something its an argument.. FFS i just want a fair suck of the sav and be treated more equall to you .... END RANT..:(8(:?
 
I hate your ex-girlfriends for the damage they did to you, and yet I feel inferior to every one of them because I'm damaged too. You tell me I'm beautiful, smart, and strong nearly every day and I'm trying to take your word for it. I fell in love with you when I began to sense your almost childlike vulnerability lurking just below the surface. I can feel you testing me to see whether I'll kick you around like your past girlfriends - I won't. I'm not that kind of person, and I think you're beginning to realize it. If this relationship works in the long run, I will go through life a happy woman. If it doesn't, then I will at least have the grace to be gentle about it. You are a good father, and I am willing to love your children as my own.
 
I wish you would find someone else who makes you happy..
I care so much about you and I've wanted to save you cause you needed someone who cared.. but now I feel empty..
I feel like I will never be happy with you the way you want us to be, and I'm so sorry for that.. I can't bring myself to leave you because I can't stand to hurt you so I wish you would simply find someone better suited for you.

You've manipulated me, hurt me and forced me to change myself to a point where I don't even know who I am any more, or that I feel guilty for wanting somthing that you don't. I grew up too fast and now I feel that because of you, I am missing a period of my life that I'm not going to be able to experience if I stay with you.

I was 17, you were 27.. I argued to the death before that the age gap wasn't an issue.. and it wasn't. . Untill you started forcing me to stop living at that age level because "you already did".

I should have never tried to start a relationship with you, we should have stayed friends. I was.. desperate. I'm sorry but it's true. And now I'm trapped.. you tell me if I ever leave you'll kill yourself ( or me). So do you realize that is the only thing holding me back? You're afraid of being alone.. I am too.

It's so confusing and I'm so so angry. IM SO FUCKING ANGRY.

I feel so close to death.. maybe it's better.. im a coward who can not bring myself to suicide, but maybe one day..

I wish you would find someone better for you.. so you can truly love someone for who they are..
 
I love you and you know it. You constantly ask me if I know that you love me. I do. But your idea of love is twisted. Love to me is caring and trusting. Love to you is controlling and manipulating. I've been beaten before you know that. You say you hate it cause you watched your mum go through it. But it's all you know as love isn't it? Because although you haven't punched me (which you like to point out) you have grabbed, pushed, scratched, threatened and verbally abused me. The first time I told you I won't put up with it again. The other night I was wrong to shout in your face but I didn't deserve to be pinned to the bed by the throat. So that's why I walked out that night. Because the days of me being a scared beaten little girl are long gone. I actually wanted to pick that hammer up and hurt you. Despite all this I will come see you tomorrow. We will have great sex, laugh and do all the things that make us great! But what will happen when we fight again?? Cause as much as I love you I don't think I can put up with it. You said tonight you wanted to propose to me.. That scared the shit out if me. Do you just want to tighten your grip on me? God I wish I had the answers. I wish I didn't love you. I wish it wasn't this hard... I..I wish I could just...tell you.
 
I love you and you know it. You constantly ask me if I know that you love me. I do. But your idea of love is twisted. Love to me is caring and trusting. Love to you is controlling and manipulating. I've been beaten before you know that. You say you hate it cause you watched your mum go through it. But it's all you know as love isn't it? Because although you haven't punched me (which you like to point out) you have grabbed, pushed, scratched, threatened and verbally abused me. The first time I told you I won't put up with it again. The other night I was wrong to shout in your face but I didn't deserve to be pinned to the bed by the throat. So that's why I walked out that night. Because the days of me being a scared beaten little girl are long gone. I actually wanted to pick that hammer up and hurt you. Despite all this I will come see you tomorrow. We will have great sex, laugh and do all the things that make us great! But what will happen when we fight again?? Cause as much as I love you I don't think I can put up with it. You said tonight you wanted to propose to me.. That scared the shit out if me. Do you just want to tighten your grip on me? God I wish I had the answers. I wish I didn't love you. I wish it wasn't this hard... I..I wish I could just...tell you.

*hug* :(
 
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