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Say something you can't say to their face

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atara said:
Has anyone ever unironically struggled with that question? If it looks good, say so; if not, say that something else looked better. It requires no actual thought or finesse.
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Yes, I've struggled with it a lot. I'm quite partial to an ample bottom myself, so when the wife says "does my bum look big in this", if I say "yes", to my mind I'm paying her a compliment - but she doesn't see it that way. But if I say "no", then she calls me a liar. It's a no win situation...
 
^ maybe try asking her, 'does my dick look big in this' - maybe you have kept that to yourself ;) ( consider the situation of another human, their desires, needs and intentions - their need for having their primary/seconday sexual charcteristice validated by their SO)- transferability yields a better understanding of an individual's contextual predicament. Not rocket science. Find the underlying motivation and transfer it to the data-set that has already been understood. Eureka! It has nothing to do with you personally, its about qualitatively, meeting the needs of another. Simple.
 
you know you scare me sometimes
it's not your fault
you always ask
you always want to make sure i'll be ok
you always notice if i'm even a little uncomfortable
i just wasn't prepared for you to have this kind of power over me. i knew you were going to make me wear panties, but i didn't know you were going to make me like it. whenever i look at my clothes, or my body, or my life, or even my interests and desires, i see your fingerprints everywhere. when i'm sitting there, on the ground, looking up at you, with your hand in my hair, i feel like you could ask me to cut off my arm and i might even do it.
i know i wanted this. i still want this. i've never felt anything this good. i've never imagined anything this good. i had a plan, until you punched me in the mouth, and i lost, and you won, and please, please, please don't hurt me, because i can't stop you
 
I still love you & always have, I know you love the guy you are with now & we can never be together full time but I think of our time together daily, I would do anything to make you & your daughter happy. Sometimes when I am alone in bed late at night I think back to the time we curled up against each other to keep warm & I can still feel you there. The pillow no longer smells of your perfume & the only thing I have now to remind me of you is the ghosts you left in my memory, I still after all this time cry for you. I love you & always will, I know when I die i'll be waiting for you.

I love you & never got over you, I know I told you I had moved on but I told a lie & I cannot after all this time think of going with someone else, you broke my heart the day you left me.
 
You ended up back in jail after your brother died. I helped you with commissary only because I felt bad for your mother and I didn't want her to have to pay for you. It was Christmas time and you wanted her to pay for your commissary instead of getting her grandkids presents, selfish. She has enough problems. I was glad I could help her out in that way.

You are still writing me letters even though I told you before the holidays I want to move on and I'm over this, then blocked the jail number. You never listen or give me space.

Now you're getting out this month and I'm blocking any new number you get. Do not come by my house leaving flowers, just leave me alone! Or you will force me to get a restraining order. Ok bye.
 
w01fg4ng said:
Hey Captain.Heroin. Sorry to hear about your breakup.

I believe that you were honest and I believe that someday you will be able to allow yourself to be vulnerable like that again.
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I plan to be single for life like a Red Panda and just hook up here and there. I don’t care to be in a sexual relationship anymore.

I appreciate the candor. It’s a time of my life that is very sensitive and terrible. Thank you for the kindness. It was somewhat unexpected and it did warm my heart.
 
^ Yep. Single and celibate is how I like it these days. Relationships are not worth the strife for me.
 
Yeah like it's just so much easier to fuck someone like 1-2x a week, a month, a few months, a year, I don't care than to put up with someone in hopes of more sex but it goes away after the years because you both learn to resent the fuck out of each other.

Mental illness. I wasn't meant to live a homosexual equivalent of a straight lifestyle. Fuck that shit.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Yeah like it's just so much easier to fuck someone like 1-2x a week, a month, a few months, a year, I don't care than to put up with someone in hopes of more sex but it goes away after the years because you both learn to resent the fuck out of each other.

Mental illness. I wasn't meant to live a homosexual equivalent of a straight lifestyle. Fuck that shit.
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I am sorry you were in a relationship with someone who you once loved who lied and cheated on you. I am bisexual and have had almost every woman and man I dated or had a partnership with lie and cheat on me.

Cheaters and liars can all fuck off since I want nothing to do with them even as friends.

I was told by gay men who are friends that monogamy in same sex relationships is rare, and that most gay men lie but I did not know how true this was until I experienced it myself.

I am single, celibate, and alright with this for now.
 
^ Amen! I'd rather stay celibate because no one deserves my body anyway. My ex acted like he was entitled to sex whenever he wanted, like I owed him certain sexual favors. He didn't deserve a damn thing.

It's also realizing that I'm not "wired" for relationships. I am faithful and would never cheat, but I mean my depression and introverted ways make it nearly impossible to keep functioning in a relationship. It starts out exciting, but eventually the boredom kicks in and my energy is drained from me to the point where I don't feel like keeping it going. Throw in the usual bitterness and resentment that you start to feel when your partner starts showing their true colors because they take you for granted and aren't trying to impress you anymore. Not worth it at all...
 
I wish I'd run when i felt that first bit of connection.... we'd both be much better off..... id be in the ground and you'd probably be a married woman....
 
Wubb said:
Word on the street is FUBARS dick looks big in everything.
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I really think it is time we need to stop objectifying FUBAR. I feel dirty, like a type of P. Stringfellow, or SnoopDog's Uncle, now that the word is out 'on the street' - the Pimp in me is rearing its ugly head:( - to quote the great philosopher Jessie James; its all about the money, eh, FUBAR?! ;)
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
^ Amen! I'd rather stay celibate because no one deserves my body anyway. My ex acted like he was entitled to sex whenever he wanted, like I owed him certain sexual favors. He didn't deserve a damn thing.

It's also realizing that I'm not "wired" for relationships. I am faithful and would never cheat, but I mean my depression and introverted ways make it nearly impossible to keep functioning in a relationship. It starts out exciting, but eventually the boredom kicks in and my energy is drained from me to the point where I don't feel like keeping it going. Throw in the usual bitterness and resentment that you start to feel when your partner starts showing their true colors because they take you for granted and aren't trying to impress you anymore. Not worth it at all...
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I hear you there. The crazy, and yet not surprising part is that almost every single gay man I know who is in a partnership or even married to another man in a supposedly stable and monogamous marraige, either is cheating on his partner/husband or being cheated on. I know this because sometimes the husband who I was not as close with, would approach me in secret or email or contact me via texting, and want me to help them lie and cheat on their partner or husband. They also wanted to do extremely dangerous things like have unprotected anal sex, and I live in an area and country where HIV, Hep C, and everything else is extremely common.

These people do not have open relationships or marriages, or arrangements where one or both people are allowed to ocassionally have sex with someone else together or separate from their partner or spouse.

I am not a homewrecker, or a snitch. So I do not take them up on their offers and I basically tell them off or do not talk to them unless I see their partner or husband who I am platonic friends with.

I told this to an older gay friend and he said how all of this with the lying, cheating, pretending to have the perfect marriage while cheating, etc. Is extremely common among gay men.
 
I know it's not fair, especially as you were circumcised unwillingly as an infant, but knowing you don't have sperm makes you less appealing. Both sexually & otherwise.
 
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PriestTheyCalledHim said:
I hear you there. The crazy, and yet not surprising part is that almost every single gay man I know who is in a partnership or even married to another man in a supposedly stable and monogamous marraige, either is cheating on his partner/husband or being cheated on. I know this because sometimes the husband who I was not as close with, would approach me in secret or email or contact me via texting, and want me to help them lie and cheat on their partner or husband. They also wanted to do extremely dangerous things like have unprotected anal sex, and I live in an area and country where HIV, Hep C, and everything else is extremely common.

These people do not have open relationships or marriages, or arrangements where one or both people are allowed to ocassionally have sex with someone else together or separate from their partner or spouse.

I am not a homewrecker, or a snitch. So I do not take them up on their offers and I basically tell them off or do not talk to them unless I see their partner or husband who I am platonic friends with.

I told this to an older gay friend and he said how all of this with the lying, cheating, pretending to have the perfect marriage while cheating, etc. Is extremely common among gay men.
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Wow! That is really sad. Why can't people be faithful? I didn't know all the cheating was so common amongst gay men, but it's too much of it going on with straight people as well.
No wonder it's hard to trust anyone.
 
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