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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Random MSN Gibberings XCII - Speaking of a cacophony, suck my cacophocock!

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I've taken benzos on the back of ethylphenidate, fully intending to wind down and get to sleep, and have ended up fiending the ethylphenidate all night long due to the lack of care borught on by the benzos. Don't do it, it's not worth it...Like...not. worth. it.
 
Throw it away Mugz and sleep.. the fact that you need to be on olanzapine screams out that abusing stims is going to be really bad, and if you miss sleep tonight as well as tomorrow you're running the risk of psychosis as well as fucking up work. You know what you need to do <3
 
I'm signed off work for next week effie, I showed some self-control earlier by stopping but I can't bring myself to throw it away. Have some more 3-MEO-PCP which I'm also eager to try after the disappointment of my last 50mg a couple weeks ago. I should have carried on till it was gone earlier then cleaned up and ate to prevent these cravings and self-annoyance.
 
^ I am worried Mugzy, you know dopaminergic stims do the opposite of what olanzapine does, and 3-MeO-PCP has a risk of psychosis too.. be careful. Appreciate not being able to flush it but if it's there it's tricky to resist, you know?

<3
 
As difficult as it is, those last three doses aren't worth it, neither is the 3-MeO-PCP. Why don't ya get some rest and return to them at some other point, if you wish to? :)
 
Mugz, what are you gonna get out of taking the rest now?

you'll barely notice the effects. the only thing it will do is keep you up longer.
 
Well I guess it may be handy that Ihave learned to notice anything that could lead to psychosis ahead of the episode, hence being cautious earlier and stopping. Also helpful that I have a drawer full of anti-psychotics. I'm rationalising like a pro her so might aswell just go for it :\ looking at the baggie I think that there isn't as much as I thought, so maybe only one sniff.

If I had work tomorrow I wouldn't consider it and would be trying to get to sleep.
 
Yeah it's so pointless at the end of a binge, I remember raiding bits of foil at the tail end of a peevee sesh knowing full well the tiny amounts I'd find wouldn't do anything but being unable to stop.. had to crumple it all up and chuck it out, hence thinking flushing it is more realistic than trying to save it. If it's only a little bit then taking it another time would probably be frustrating too as you'd want more..

You are rationalising but you know it is the stim making you think like this. Why did you ask us? I don't mean that in a nasty way at all, but you know what we were going to say surely <3
 
it's not as if it's the last malteser out of the bag. it's gonna keep you up for hours, and youre gonna get fuck all from it given what youve been taking

effie speaks types sense
 
^^ that's what I thought :)

Think of the risks - not sleeping, psychosis, increased anxiety. Think of the benefits - very minimal at this stage in the binge. Bin it :) <3

(ninja marmz!)
 
Mugz, what the fuck. Ditch the EPH. You are asking so you can be talked out of it.

OK.

DONT FUCKING DO ANY MORE!

Flush the stims. Get some sleep!
 
on a semi-bullshit sidenote mugz, & in case you're still waivering: taking the last bit can have psychological repercussions ie: it won, and you took it, and gave in. mentally being able to flush the remnants is good for the soul and leaves your head in a much better positive mindframe than just 'doing the remains' because it's convenient & already there & you've paid for it and will then start afresh

the difference between the two decisions really can make an impact on the week ahead when it comes to controlling use in the future. so I've found anyway.
 
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^ definitely - you're already going to get a crash, but if you can have pride in the fact that you made the right choice, flushed it, and didn't let it rule you then it will help a lot :)
 
Marmalade said:
on a semi-bullshit sidenote mugz, & in case you're still waivering: taking the last bit can have psychological repercussions ie: it won, and you took it, and gave in. mentally being able to flush the remnants is good for the soul and leaves your head in a much better positive mindframe than just 'doing the remains' because it's convenient & already there & you've paid for it and will then start afresh

the difference between the two decisions really can make an impact on the week ahead when it comes to controlling use in the future. so I've found anyway.
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That is a brilliant way of putting it into a different perspective Marms. Excellent.

I resonate wholeheartedly.
 
I also agree, but it beat me and was just one line and it was pointless :( better luck next time Mugz. Might just get some of my 3-MEO-PCP in me now to justify my stupid ethylphen line(I do enjoy snorting things though) Don't wanna waste my prescribed diaz now that it's the only diaz I have now.
 
Mugz said:
I also agree, but it beat me and was just one line and it was pointless :( better luck next time Mugz. Might just get some of my 3-MEO-PCP in me now to justify my stupid ethylphen line(I do enjoy snorting things though)
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the 1st bit I can identify with, we've all been there, several times over, despite knowing that it should really be flushed. sometimes you can do what's required, sometimes that's just not gonna happen.

but the 2nd bit in bold is the bit you really should be thinking about more. that's the kind of mentality/approach that starts digging you a big hole to shitsville, and shitsville's a fucking hard place to leave when you've been there before and it's a familiar place.

so, you did another line of eph, it'll pass. youre left annoyingly stimmed but not pleasantly so ... rather than take something else, do the whole gaming malarky til it wears off, or better still some manic tidying/cleaning because that at least puts you back on a positive again rather than be depressed about it and wanting to take more crap. a long shower does the same i find .. a positive move and no-one ever feels bad coming out of the shower

good luck with it mugz

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also, if you need more distractions, this week's episodes of game of thrones, eastbound n down, nurse jackie, breakout kings etc etc have just been released in the last few hours (monday's are great for TV releases)... so there's plenty to watch and help pass the time if youre still struggling with whut to do
 
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I rationalised my decisions very carefully 8)

1. get rid of ethylphen so I can properly start my olanzepine - up nose
2. am signed off sick for the rest of the month, contractor coming to check shower heads between tuesday an thursday so need to get room respectable by then, have some 3-MEO-PCP laying about so take the opportunity now then focus on getting out of this rut as soon as possible and prepare myself for work. Have two more weeks to get myself together - up nose
 
and if you're anything like me when I'm trying to give something up using the rationale you just described, then you'll leave it all to the very last minute, probably buy something else in between (most probably excessive amounts of alcohol to compensate), DEFINTELY think 'WHOOOP - WOOHOO 2 weeks off work, I can do this' ... so I'd put it off each day until I really am forced into a corner and 'get y0 shit together time' ends up being 5 mins rather than 2 weeks ... trouble is with that, shit's got a better chance of fucking up/happening depending on the variables in the last few days. it can fuck up even more at that point. or you just might get away with it. ...but ... longer term you aren't.

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I'm the Queen of the above mentality btw, so I'm not judging, just trying to identify. I avoid it like the plague if I can manage to see it before it's too late and I'm already in the middle of the process and by then there's more chance of me enlisting in the army than there is of me being able to extract myself from it all

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I'm repeating myself, but good luck today atm. really hope it goes well <3
 
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