Random MSN Gibberings LXX: A little sexier than normal vomiting

[Mugz]

Hmmm yeah but it depends if you want to maintain your habbit at all doesn't it? I'm pretty honest with my addiction councillor, but then I get drugs tested so I kind of have to be if I reckon there's any chance I might fail. I've only failed once in about 4 months after taking pv. However I am not there of my own free will and I do take advantage of knowing when my next appointment is and iff I'm going to have a weekend on the sesh I'll do it on the friday after my monday appointment knowing there's no test for over a week. So basically if I know it's purely recreational and causing me no problems (as pretty much all my drug use is these days) I'll say nothing. Some drugs like ket, 2c's, mxe etc don't actually come up on the swab test either. But if you've been using benzo's you may aswell come clean, you want off them anyway they do you no good in the long run if your using them regularly.

Thanks for the advice mate, I have pretty much decided to come clean, I just dont want it getting back to my GP as she would be upset that I have not been sticking totally to my tapering plan. It shouldn't get back to my doctor because of the confidentiality laws though.

 

[rockstar 69]

Hmm watch that man, my councillor knew I'd been in intensive care etc, they both have access to your medical files see. Or what your being prescribed I would imagine. So if you get a bitch of a councillor she could potentially see the script your on already and think it's just drug seeking. It's very hard to stop outright in an instant, I know I couldn't, not when I got busted, not when I watched my mate die infront of me. Sounds bonkers but if you've been doing something for years it's habbitual and alot of the people I would go out drinking with etc are drug users so I'd likely end up on it anyway. Having said that most of the time I don't need anyone else to influence me I actually want drugs when I'm sober.

I do seem to have kind of subconsciously worn myself out of alot of drugs. I'm at the stage now where I rarely take a smoke because too much of it makes me antisocial and lacking in motivation. The likes of MDMA, speed, mephedrone, pv type stims which I've also cained loads of I can't hack the comedown really anymore, I know I'll fiend it and end up awake for days feeling like utter shit for days and days after, ruin my good health and feel depressed/anxious after which I can't be fucked with at all. I still do fancy it time to time and if I'm drunk and mates have any of these things I'm liable to indulge but it rarely becomes as much of a problem when I'm not the one with a big bag of powder.

Once you've had these problems with some drugs it's easier to spot where it would take off with others aswell. Like ketamine would be my drug of choice now but I try to only buy a few gs at once, binge then leave it for a while.

I don't know I'm going on a bit more than I intended here. I guess though if you feel like you have a problem you yourself need to evaluate your drug use and decide if/how you want to continue using.

 

[Mugz]

The counsellor is not an NHS counsellor so the sharing of information is private unless I agree as far as I know. They know I have been on benzos on and off with periods of abuse for the last 7 years, I just want some help to get them out of my life for good. I'm looking forward to my appointment tomorrow, and then going to work and forgetting about my absence today.

Sleepy time for me soon, another long day tomorrow ahead.

Night night EADD

 

[Myshkin]

Even if your with someone you absolutely love and wouldn't physically go near anyone else your still physically attracted to other women surely?

Aye, very true.

I fell in love with somebody a long while back; head-over-proverbial-heels, the way you only do before you've seen all (or most) of the pitfalls and headfucks such business usually entails. Even over three years our sex life was really great, she was beautiful, but I still noticed other people in the most superficial and harmless of ways. Used to nip off to the batroom every now and again - nothing wrong with it.

I was only caught out by nipping off to play Championship Manager while she did the soap omnibus marathon. I thought 'why not?' and indulged myself, only forgetting to clear my internet history.

She wasn't happy. Within two months we were no more. Now I only trust women who have a healthy attitude to masturbation. Or girls who like wankers (me being a fine example) and wanking.

oh, and cheers guys ... it's a lovely treat to have something to 'contemplate' while drifting orf tonight

Did you enjoy your contemplation? Or did you just do a crossword?

Or should I refrain from asking altogether?

 

[Allein]

^^^

I don't get it with some people and there frankly weird attitude towards masturbation, they are most definitely the ones with the problem, down rigth fekin strange IMO.

Alas ,I think mainly due to ADs my sex drive is at an all time low and with one thing and another any kind of sexual activity just isn't really happening that much for me at the mo.

Might have to arrange a night without the kids and open up that hidden partition on the hard drive so me and Mrs atm can indulge in a bit of lengthy debauchery

 

[Mugz]

Alas ,I think mainly due to ADs my sex drive is at an all time low

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LV_bETEzs



Morning EADD crew, I made sure I am awake today, feel ill for real today though, hopefully it will blow over after being awake for a whille.

How is everyone on this rather average day? :D

 

[Myshkin]

Two cups of tea, one spliff, one valium and two little periods of 'quality time' spent with myself so far. I wasn't lying, Mugz.

Now it's just getting dressed and scrubbed up ready for the commute in the rain...

 

[Mugz]

Just read your post sammy and it seems that anyone that doesn't tolerate masturbation in a relationship is really old fashioned. I'm not going to go into details about my last relationship, but everyone knows what I get up to on most stims and that was never a problem. As long as masturbation isn't becoming more important than your partner or more enjoyable then I don't see anything wrong with it.

To be honest at the moment I suspect that my diazepam and mirtazepine prescriptions are what are preventing a lot of my desire to bop the bishop.

 

[Allein]

Two cups of tea, one spliff, one valium and two little periods of 'quality time' spent with myself so far. I wasn't lying, Mugz.

Now it's just getting dressed and scrubbed up ready for the commute in the rain...

Much the same other than the "private moments" and maybe more than one V, I gotta ride my scooT ( the suzuki not me old lambrettta) in as well as still havent sorted my car insurnjace mess out..at least its not raining here, buit chillt though.

 

[Myshkin]

Masturbation can save you from wanting to treat your partner like a dockside rent boy, obviously excepting those occasions where that's exactly what they want of course.

Know what you mean about meds and their potentially-crushing effect on the libido though. Frustrating.

 

[YellowPolkaDotHalo]

Re BDD post :

'As wank-convos go it's been relatively adult. We were being encouraged, naturally. Otherwise I would have immediately slammed the door on such a sinful topic.' Sam

If we are talking biblical sin theres nothing in the bible to suggest that masturbation is sinful..
Youre absolved ..

 

[parttime crackhead]

Two cups of tea, one spliff, one valium and two little periods of 'quality time' spent with myself so far. I wasn't lying, Mugz.

Now it's just getting dressed and scrubbed up ready for the commute in the rain...

I don't know how people have time in the morning before work for a cup of tea & a spliff. Never mind two cups of tea, two wanks & a spliff. For some strange reason I've been waking up early as fuck when I've not got work (been up for 2 hours already) but when I'm working I literally drag myself out of bed with enough time to jump in & out the shower, throw clothes on & run out the door for the bus.

 

[rockstar 69]

I was only caught out by nipping off to play Championship Manager while she did the soap omnibus marathon. I thought 'why not?' and indulged myself, only forgetting to clear my internet history.

She wasn't happy. Within two months we were no more. Now I only trust women who have a healthy attitude to masturbation. Or girls who like wankers (me being a fine example) and wanking.

Haha what were you looking at? Some kind of brutal Japanese BDSM or something? Haha. Or was it a combination of other factors finnished the relationship?

I don't know how you can go to work after a joint and valium either. I'd be going back to bed.

 

[parttime crackhead]

I just meant I don't know how you have the time. Although if I had a smoke before work I'd definitely decide to shout fuck it & go back to bed.

 

[rockstar 69]

two little periods of 'quality time' spent with myself so far. I wasn't lying, Mugz.

I've just caught up with you now, one before I got up and one after breakfast. My target is to hit 6 today, shouldn't be too hard all I have to do is a job interview at 12 then I'm free all day. Each time I have a wank I shall post here or PM Mugz with the details

 

[Myshkin]

Haha what were you looking at? Some kind of brutal Japanese BDSM or something? Haha. Or was it a combination of other factors finnished the relationship?

I don't know how you can go to work after a joint and valium either. I'd be going back to bed.

I wish it'd been brutal Japanese BDSM. She might not have reacted in that way.

Sadly it was a celebrity in her early forties (at that time) who used to be a minor mainstream film sex symbol but was reduced to doing soap acting to earn a buck. It was my girlfriend's fault as I see it; she was watching the soap in question and didn't fancy anything approaching conversation. I really had intended to just have a game of Champ Manager too.

Any attempts at guessing the celebrity in question will be ruthlessly censored if they're in any way accurate.

There were other factors involved, me being a psychotic cokehead bum in the early stages of a nervous breakdown for one, her having exams on the horizon for another.

As for my morning ritual, I do wake up at six or slightly earlier (though I stay in bed for short while ) and I don't leave the house till after eight. So plenty of time for all that needs to be done. Though that spliff can definitely hinder my motivation, hence my sometimes-successful attempts to cut it out.

Yellow: You mean I'm not going to Hell after all?

Rockstar: SIX? I'm just the wrong side of thirty (and in a male-dominated workplace) so chances are I won't match you until the next erotomania episode. Oh to be in my early twenties again...

 

[monstanoodle]

Wow, still with the wank theme. I'm suitably impressed

Morning all Thank fuck for meds. Opiate withdrawal coughing is absolutely rubbish. As is Benzoless twitching.
Time for copious cups of tea!

 

[rockstar 69]

^ What stims were you on and what were you looking at? Spill the the beans!

Sadly it was a celebrity in her early forties (at that time) who used to be a minor mainstream film sex symbol but was reduced to doing soap acting to earn a buck. It was my girlfriend's fault as I see it; she was watching the soap in question and didn't fancy anything approaching conversation. I really had intended to just have a game of Champ Manager too.

Any attempts at guessing the celebrity in question will be ruthlessly censored if they're in any way accurate.

Pat Butcher? Tits like two wet sandbags, flaps like two spaniels ears and a fanny like a burst couch hehe, am I right?

As for my morning ritual, I do wake up at six or slightly earlier (though I stay in bed for short while ) and I don't leave the house till after eight. So plenty of time for all that needs to be done. Though that spliff can definitely hinder my motivation, hence my sometimes-successful attempts to cut it out.

I used to do this so I could go for a jog and fit in two breakfasts, stuff that when it's cold though. And with a smoke or benzo I would be straight back to my pit, I suppose if your going to have the smoke you'd almost need the benzo to make work!

 

[Mugz]

Wow, still with the wank theme. I'm suitably impressed

Morning all Thank fuck for meds. Opiate withdrawal coughing is absolutely rubbish. As is Benzoless twitching.
Time for copious cups of tea!

Thank this guy for the wank theme

Morning monsta, benzoless twitching is my worst thing in the world, hope it isn't too bad.

 

[Myshkin]

Pat Butcher? Rockstar, your mind is a sewer!

This was the mid-2000s, so even the mighty Pat was past it by then.

I too used to get exercise done in the morning (basic strength-training calisthenic stuff, mind - no running) until the combination of a woman who resented my morning routine, relapse into alcholism, break-up, more alcoholism and too many bad drugs ruined it.

Should get back into it, as after laying off the drink my body resembles that of a death camp inmate now, save for the presence of hair on my head.