Random MSN Gibberings LXX: A little sexier than normal vomiting

[Munroe]

140mg O-desmethyltramadol, considering chucking in a few valium. Can anyone comment on how well they synergise? Etizolam always used to go nicely with poppy tea so i'm guessing this will be similar?

 

[Kronos]

Nice, same as any opiate with any benzo. Increased euphoria, more gouched, more memory loss

Dunno when i started but been binging on opiates a memoryless gouchy lazzy few days and been using some odmt just not, just woke up from a mininod i mista fell into like 1ish and necked the rest of my o-dmt, opiate/sesh over! (once i nod out for the last time )

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Just had a hospital appointment for something I thought was routine and it turns out i'm royally fucked. I am so fucking angry and upset it's unreal. I almost smacked some bloke behind me on the bus in the face because he was eating a bag of crisps with his mouth open like a 4 year old child. I usually feel like doing that, but i've never actually come that close before.

 

[rockstar 69]

What's happened man? PM me if you want sounds nasty. You calmed down now? How come your so angry, not like you at all

 

[Jabberwocky]

argh. tis a bit pointless saying 'i hope you're ok' at this point. and i am too braindead to think of something less pointless.

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Yeah i've calmed down a lot, I do rage quite regularly but usually it's just impotent rage that I never really act on apart from maybe smash a plate. Now I just feel absolutely gutted and miserable, which usually passes in 5 minutes but I really can't get over this one. I went in being told on the phone a few weeks ago that I was going to have some abscesses drained and some fistulas sorted out. I was actually in a really good mood because at last I was about to get my life back on track again after a simple trip as an inpatient where i'd get treated to a nice big shot of fentanyl and as much IV morphine as I wanted. Then it would have been back on the meds that i'm not allowed on with abscesses, because they are immunosuppresants and they make abscesses grow like 10x faster and they can become deadly.

But when I arrived there were 2 doctors and a nurse sat in the room and they basically said that fistulas/abscesses are tracking back into my pelvis. Because they are tracking backwards instead of in a loop and back out into my colon, there is no where for them to emerge and be drained. So that only leaves the bones, so it will probably go into the bones and infect them leading to a year of IV antibiotics and/or complete pelvis and/or any surrounding bone removal. So they basically said we have no medical options left for you, because we can't treat the abscesses/fistulas with immunosuppressants. Which leaves two options; Colostomy - which would mean I would still have crohn's and all it's related ills and neccessary treatments, OR, their preferred course of action which would be to remove my entire large bowel, the ileium and most of the small bowel (how I would absorb food I don't even know). They said, as if it was a good thing having this permenant operation done, that 'I wouldn't have crohns anymore'. Well fucking herp derp, it's a bit difficult to have crohn's when you don't have a digestive system.

They said they were going to have a meeting with all the specialists and we'd reconvene in 2 weeks, and I said 'well you'd better discuss medical options because i'm not having a colostomy or complete removal, I don't even care if I die'. And that's where we are :/. Both options suck total total dick. I'm not being that guy who has to carry around a little sack of shit with him everywhere he goes. Having to think about cleaning it 5 times a day with my bare hands, or when it fucks up getting totally caked in crap in public. As most people might have already guessed from the rotten egg incident I mentioned I can throw up at the drop of a hat if there's a strong smell around. I haven't had children, i've barely made a dent in my travel plans, and i'm only 23. My life might as well be over if they do either of these treatments because I truly cannot be fucked in the slightest to put up with the life of a colostomy (or whatever the other bag operation is called) patient. Thanks for the support guys, it's appreciated. Sorry for the long rant but i've never really found myself backed into such a horrible position with no viable route out before.

 

[Myshkin]

MSB - That's a terrible thing to have to deal with.

Hope everything works out somehow, and don't apologise - venting is completely understandable in your position.

Godspeed, sir.

 

[jancrow]

Fucking hell man, that's really horrible. I guess you'll know more in a couple of weeks- really hope that some alternative comes out of their meetings with specialists etc.

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

It’s officially heading into hibernation season.
Dark when you goto work and dark when you get home.
Hate this time of year

Get one of these bad boys mate:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lumie-BRIGHTSPARK-Lightbox-stylish-aluminium/dp/B001JJEI5O

I've got one, and I didn't really stick with it because I got it in late winter and thought fuck it. But I did use it for about a week and it definitely brightens up your mood to summer levels. It's a bit odd though being as happy as you are in the summer when it's a grey day. Presumably if you use it every day throughout the winter like you're supposed to you just get used to it.

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Thanks Sam and Jan I don't think an alternative is likely to come up. I asked them if I could be put on large quantities of antibiotics to get rid of the infections to get back onto the meds, but they did the scrunched up face slightly shaking their head thing and said not really. I also offered to only drink water for months if I have to to give my system a break, and nope. I offered to go on some sort of wierd elemental diet where you can only eat blended greens or whatever, nope. I thought this bullshit was over last summer when I almost died from sepsis/meningitus, but it just keeps coming.

 

[jancrow]

I'm really sorry. I've got a friend with Crohn's and I don't think it's as advanced as yours but it sounds like an absolute motherfucker. Your immune system basically attacks your guts doesn't it? I've got my fingers crossed that something unexpected (and good this time) still shows up for you.

 

[Marmalade]

Sorry to hear of your dilema MSB

my sis has some related issues to yours, is on high doses of immuno's and has fistula/vascular probs, but from a different root cause to your own. she's recently had various infections, pneumonia and blood clots in relation to them [immuno spnts]

Hmn. I'd push them for the reasons theyre ruling out antibiotics. did they reject antibotics as a method generally incl IV'd ? [My sis just had 7days worth in 20 minute drips.]

What did they think was responsible for the 'tracking back'? is that a blood flow issue, or a due to a narrowing?
Have they mentioned or ruled out using a stent to help with direction .. or a normal drain out of the body?

I hope they get their heads together and come up with something a bit less radical, in my experience, they often do.
Really glad you didnt just accept the options they gave you. lots of people don't question what theyre told and assume that theyre being told everything options wise, which is rarely the case in my experience. they forget that doctors have other agendas - lead times, budgets, cost/length of aftercare to consider before they present you with their 'considered' opinions/options. Patients shouldn't have to even think about this shit either [ie: 2nd guessing your doctors motives of choice].

Much to you. Your age is a major fucking plus for you atm, that & you refusing to accept what they were offering straight away will, I believe,push them to consider other methods if they're available

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

I'm really sorry. I've got a friend with Crohn's and I don't think it's as advanced as yours but it sounds like an absolute motherfucker. Your immune system basically attacks your guts doesn't it? I've got my fingers crossed that something unexpected (and good this time) still shows up for you.

Yeah that's basically what happens. The best description i've ever come up with is that it feels like loads of hamsters crawling around in your gut, but I guess that's only a useful for the Pet Shop Boys

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Sorry to hear of your dilema MSB

my sis has some related issues to yours, is on high doses of immuno's and has fistula/vascular probs, but from a different root cause to your own. she's recently had various infections, pneumonia and blood clots in relation to them [immuno spnts]

Hmn. I'd push them for the reasons theyre ruling out antibiotics. did they reject antibotics as a method generally incl IV'd ? [My sis just had 7days worth in 20 minute drips.]

What did they think was responsible for the 'tracking back'? is that a blood flow issue, or a due to a narrowing?
Have they mentioned or ruled out using a stent to help with direction .. or a normal drain out of the body?

I hope they get their heads together and come up with something a bit less radical, in my experience, they often do.
Really glad you didnt just accept the options they gave you. lots of people don't question what theyre told and assume that theyre being told everything options wise, which is rarely the case in my experience. they forget that doctors have other agendas - lead times, budgets, cost/length of aftercare to consider before they present you with their 'considered' opinions/options. Patients shouldn't have to even think about this shit either [ie: 2nd guessing your doctors motives of choice].

Much to you. Your age is a major fucking plus for you atm, that & you refusing to accept what they were offering straight away will, I believe,push them to consider other methods if they're available

It seems like there isn't much to make the fistulas go away, because the infliximab didn't really on them very well apparently. They can't stent it because it's basically just webs and webs of tracks throughout my pelvis, from various points in the bowel too. So the only real hope was going to be making the most complex seton sutres (sp?), but if there are tracks going back that haven't come out it wouldn't work because they wouldn't be able to loop through to keep it draining - which probably means more abscesses when they innevitably get blocked again. I know I can't particularly trust the motives behind the drs recommending giving me a colostomy (I don't suppose you know what the operation where they remove everything is called?), they tried to do it last summer as well for slightly different reasons. To top it all off i've been putting off getting tested for ankylosing spondylitis, which my dad has. Not because i'm one of those people that runs away from stuff, but the doctors advised me to get a private health plan before I risk it because it's becoming reasonably apparent that I probably have that as well.

Gar, i've turned into one of those whiney bitches that no one wants to be around. Thank you for the

 

[Myshkin]

Gar, i've turned into one of those whiney bitches that no one wants to be around.

I'm afraid you've a long way to go before you achieve that rarefied status.

Though I can give you half-hour training sessions at a tenner a pop.

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

I'm afraid you've a long way to go before you achieve that rarefied status.

Though I can give you half-hour training sessions at a tenner a pop.

I think i'll get there on my own at this rate thanks! I just realised with no digestive tract I won't be able to eat mdma anymore :/ I'd better get that out of my system pronto.

 

[joe90]

Really sorry to hear your woes mr blunts....go smash a few plates...I think ill smash a few for u too

 

[Marmalade]

Gar, i've turned into one of those whiney bitches that no one wants to be around. Thank you for the

no, really, you havent. I doubt anyone thinks that.
it's a shock to what you were expecting, and that comes with a motherfucker of mental torture, something you weren't prepared for. it hits fucking hard and it's a mental & motivational crucifier when that happens. you seem like youve got the mental strength to be able to deal with the next steps though. I'm not getting the vibe you've got the Smiths on repeat in the background ;p .. and not a hint of self pity.

Proctocolectomy? not sure if thats spelled right, or to what level of intestine/colon removal that it includes

Not sure what type of hospital youre with, but if you end up not being happy with the options they offer you, you can ask to be referred to another hospital [and without it causing drama or 'issues'] Researching and seeking out Consultants who specialise in your disease & hunting them down can be worth it. University Hospitals tend to be a bit more creative when looking at options and often develop their own. I know it takes mental energy to do this, and it's fucking draining and just adds another thing to have to deal with tho. Not to mention location and travelling adding more stress
I can help with a few suggestions later if you decide you need to go down this road

 

[Myshkin]

Does anyone know where I can get one of these?

NSFW:

It doesn't have to be Rose of course, but anyone similar or preferably identical would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Jesus, I'll be blind by midnight.

 

[jancrow]

She looks like a girl who used to babysit for me in the late 80s. Made my nuts boil even at a tender age.