Quick goodbye to everyone.

ValeTudo said:
To Mepats mother, Susan:

MASSIVE RESPECT for the way you're handling this. If there's one way to beat this kind of problem, it's with staunch backup from your family.
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Yes I would imagine most mum's would be not as nearly as understanding of a harm-reduction board.

Glad you are feeling better mepat!
 
Well I'm home everyone, feeling a lot better. I got a lot of help at the hospital regarding different things. In the end they decided to put me on methdone maintenance rather than detox me. I feel ok now.

At the time I did not want anyone to help me really I just wanted to go and die, however I am now glad that everyone did go to the amazing lengths to save me. It truely shows how great this board it.

I am not going to be taking any other drugs in the future, I'll be on regular urine tests to it's out of the question for me.

Thanks everyone, bluelight rocks.
 
mepat1111 said:
At the time I did not want anyone to help me really I just wanted to go and die, however I am now glad that everyone did go to the amazing lengths to save me. It truely shows how great this board it.
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Wow, man. I really wasn't sure if it was a cry for help, and for this reason I didn't share everyone's enthusiasm and went along with the handful who expressed doubt whether it was "the right thing" to do.

Seems I was right somehow, but I am glad you're glad you're back. And I'd like to retract some of my philosophical meanderings of yesterday... I've slept over this and all I can say is that I find it really really weird that a community as 'abstract' as an online board can be more important to someone than the people surrounding them... why else would you say goodbye to BL rather than friends/family? Now what is truly amazing is that BL has actually saved you. In retrospect, what are the odds of that happening? I am well and truly amazed. Took a day to sink in for me to see how amazing this is.

Welcome back.
 
^ Um. I don't think bluelighter's are more important to him than his family. As he mentioned, it wasn't a cry for help... he wasn't expecting to be saved... therefore it was just a goodbye.

Had he done the same thing with his family, it would most definitely have been a cry for help, and help [at the time] he DID NOT WANT.

As we have all discussed, it's quite amazing that bluelighters were able to help intervene - I'm sure when mepat posted he didn't even consider it as a possibility. Therefore, his thread on bluelight was initially of very minimal importance to him. As it turned it out, it helped save his life =D. Also, it's not just a couple of bluelighter's who saved his life, but also his mum, his real life friends, and him - himself.

Good to have you back mepat!!!
 
I noticed someone said before that they think I should apply for mod for TDS, if anyone else agrees PM me and I may consider applying. I would love to do it I'm just not sure if you guys would want me as a mod.
 
I think that your experience would standf u in good stead.........I know u have a good understanding of the various shit out there.

I also figure it would help u to stop focussing in on yourself but instead on others............it works for me anyways.

Doesnt mean that the powers to be would give u the position, but you never kjnow...........they will do what they think is best for the forum.........please keep that in mind..........if you didnt get it then it wouldnt be a slight against you at all..........just they felt someone was slightly better qualified at that particular moment in time..............haha, you get where Im coming from aye Pat.........lol.
 
Sorry i meant to add that irrelevant of if you were a mod or not, it doesnt stop u being able to spend your time focussing on helping others...........Im no mod but its what i do and it helps me heaps.


Oh and one other point..............BL is prolly as important to me as my family..........hell thanks to this place I found someone who is uber special and whom I love very much.
 
Yeah I'll certainly be on here helping where I can even if I don't get the mod position but I think I'll apply anyway. I really do love all you guys and hell, you saved my life - I'd love to return the favour. Thanks for everyone's support through all this.

It's off to the psychiatrist and methadone clinic for me tomorrow, I spose we'll see how it all goes.
 
Regarding suicide attempts as 'a cry for help' vs a 'serious' attempt...they can't always be so clearly divided. It's common for people to say 'if they really wanted to do it, they wouldn't bother telling anyone' and although it may be true in some cases - and is a somewhat logical conclusion - it's certainly not true in all.

I spent a couple of years doing telephone counselling on a crisis line, and we had our share of suicide attempts. Over the years various people would contact the company to say thanks (often they were clients, so we had a fair amount of contact with them) and very occasionally we'd get feedback regarding suicidal callers. Their main reason for calling? "I wanted to hear a friendly voice before I died." :\

I learnt never to underestimate the loneliness behind suicide and the desperation that leads people to call an anonymous service....or post on an internet messageboard. The reasons behind reaching out (or not) can be complex and aren't just a matter of secretly longing to be found, or 'attention seeking'.

I'm not suggesting this was mepat1111's motivation....just pointing out that the reasons behind making your attempt known aren't always as simple as just wanting help.

Nice to see you back, by the way. :)
 
The real reason I posted this message was truely to thank everyone for their help and support while I dealt with my depression. I wasn't expecting people to try to help me, I just wanted to thank you guys before I went off and died. I'm thankful now that I didn't suceed thought :)
 
@mepat

I don't have a say in the matter but I'd like to ask you: Do you WANT to be a mod? If yes, I have no doubt you could be a good one - it would be good for others and it would be good for you. Just want admins to know this
 
Hi mepat, I'm really glad you're ok too. I just hope that you never do it again. I've never been in your position so don't know what its like. However I had a friend that got so depressed he hanged himself. It fucked me off more than anything. IMO theres alway something better than being dead.

Good luck with the councilling and rehab etc. The best idea is to do other things that take your mind off drugs. Take up surfing or some sort of sport. When I'm all stressed or depressed it works really well for me.
 
This thread and one other made me finally register to Bluelight! This one inspired me, I've never seen a community pull together like this.
 
Amazing work :) It's great how a simple online community can save lives when it pulls together. Good luck with the methadone mepat1111 =D
 
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