Harm Reduction Progress Mega Thread

[BrokedownPalace]

Well I am over 30 days off of methadone.. lost count.. 35? Dunno.. Relapsed for a few days a couple weeks in, then got back on suboxone. Now I haven't taken any bupe since wednesday? Tuesday? I forget. .a couple days.

Still feeling shitty but it's cake compared to the first two weeks off of methadone. Never again.

 

[Been&Done]

Well I am over 30 days off of methadone.. lost count.. 35? Dunno.. Relapsed for a few days a couple weeks in, then got back on suboxone. Now I haven't taken any bupe since wednesday? Tuesday? I forget. .a couple days.

Still feeling shitty but it's cake compared to the first two weeks off of methadone. Never again.

Good job man, keep it going. I remember well, one of your posts about a few weeks ago when you were hating life (i believe you have been 10 days wzout Methadone) and i wrote you back, knowing that probably you won't even read my reply or if you will, you would laugh at my words. I have to admit, i remember sounding like a catholic N.A therapist with all that "Change how you look at life and......" As much as i used to laugh inside at some loved ones trying to help when i was deep in my H years, after finally quitting i started to appreciate those "advices", even though i knew them well all along.
Finding other joys in life was great change in my life, basic activities such as food, sex and exercise became very enjoyable tasks. Keep it up and don't let a moment of weakness or 2 take you back to that awful place. I like your "Never again" signature.

Hope everyone is progressing in his recovery or just in life. Keep up the positivity people. Together we stand, divided we fall

 

[BrokedownPalace]

^Thanks man, I remember your posts and I probably didn't reply but I did/do appreciate your advice. You definitely are right. Problem is, I know(and have known) the right way to do things for a long time but always seem to waiver right on that line of good/bad/right/wrong until I fall into the fire. Too many times.

I have a new girlfriend now though which is really helping.

Hope every one else is doing well.

 

[Been&Done]

^^ Glad about your new gf, it makes a big difference as someone mentioned up there. Especially for us, who took their DOC as their number one priority and now we are trying hard to change that, doesn't it actually feel nice not being selfish anymore?
An ex of mine, whom i'v never seen or talked to while sober, i had to score first then meet or talk on the phone, even the few-day-away-failed trials to get clean, i wouldn't even send her an sms! Of course we didn't last, but my point is, partnership during recovery is a lot more "real", serious and could also be very enjoyable if u got the right person, who have to be understanding to some extent by the way, only if you want to move deeper in the relationship, i believe. If it's just for fun, then enjoy your time and the sex and life keeps getting better.

Good luck for all of us

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Well I am over 30 days off of methadone.. lost count.. 35? Dunno.. Relapsed for a few days a couple weeks in, then got back on suboxone. Now I haven't taken any bupe since wednesday? Tuesday? I forget. .a couple days.

Still feeling shitty but it's cake compared to the first two weeks off of methadone. Never again.

"Never again" is definitely how I feel about heroin BDP.

 

[BrokedownPalace]

Sadly at this point in my early recovery the 'never again' thing more refers to the withdrawals and all the bullshit involved. But all of that aside, the high from heroin is still incredibly fresh and tasty in my mind.

But I guess in time that will pass. I basically burned my heroin connects so I am definitely not going to cop anytime soon. Being beyond broke also helps I guess.

Meh.

 

[Been&Done]

"Never again" is definitely how I feel about heroin BDP.

I'm glad you're at this safe and comfortable place Capt, i would like to say the same but can't say it and mean it 100%, all i'm sure of at the moment is that i would never go back to the addict lifestyle again, after the beauty of life and what it has to offer that i'v been witnessing those past few "sober" months. Maybe i wont go looking for it, but if at some point, someone offers me a line, i would probably do it. I'm proud of myself and where i am now.

Sadly at this point in my early recovery the 'never again' thing more refers to the withdrawals and all the bullshit involved. But all of that aside, the high from heroin is still incredibly fresh and tasty in my mind.

But I guess in time that will pass. I basically burned my heroin connects so I am definitely not going to cop anytime soon. Being beyond broke also helps I guess.

Meh.

Same here as for my "never again," I 99.9% know that i will do my best to never ever again go back to those nasty times, i was hooked for years and years and have to be thankful that this is me today writing those few lines about recovery
Beyond broke helps a lot and burning your connects is a must. I had to relocate, but it's the best decision i have taken in my life so far. Keep it up

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm glad you're at this safe and comfortable place Capt, i would like to say the same but can't say it and mean it 100%, all i'm sure of at the moment is that i would never go back to the addict lifestyle again, after the beauty of life and what it has to offer that i'v been witnessing those past few "sober" months. Maybe i wont go looking for it, but if at some point, someone offers me a line, i would probably do it. I'm proud of myself and where i am now.

If you're not in excruciating pain - then be happy because at least you're able to bear through it.

Chronic pain can be just as bad as it can be relentless - I am not sure if you're in pain without opiates or if you can live your life functionally without them - but I am sure you can. There are other ways to manage pain other than using opiates in such a way or to such a degree that will make us feel addicted.

You've gotten a long way B&D and I know that you'll continue to do well.

 

[Been&Done]

Thank you for the positive words and no thank God, i have no chronic pain....I was all recreational and now i'm at 0.4 Subutex and it feels great to feel clean for such a long time. Looking forward to say someday: "i have been clean for 4 years"

 

[MrRoot]

Hi there!
I have been taking 20mg of diazepam and 2mg of alprazolam for a long period for post traumatic stress disorder caused by being a peacekeeper in Afghanistan. During few months or so I have upped the dose during the weekends to double. And I am not experiencing panic attacks or generalized anxiety anymore.

So it has become a habit during the week and recreational usage during the weekends to boost my oxycodone recreational usage in weekends. I have slipped disc and am waiting for a surgery so I really need oxycodone to combat the pain. I use 10-20mg oxycodone daily and double that as crushed during weekends.

So I have taken few days off from benzos to check if I will experience any WDs and have not experienced any. But from the kind help to the link to benzo half-life table and article about diazepam building up in ones body's fat tissues I have been thinking tht during those few days off from benzos the diazepam build up has masked the withdrawals from alprazolam.

So I quitted taking diazepam today and only take 0.25mg of alprazolam four times a day and plan doing that for week and then stop taking alprazolam at all. Just to see if there are any withdrawals not planning to taper completely off from them.

During the week the diazepam should be gone from my body?

Can the oxycodone also mask the withdrawals from benzos?

I also use pregabalin 150mg twice a day as prescribed for the nerve pain and aripiprazole 15mg for bipolar disorder and now 75mg venlafaxin for depression phase I am currently suffering.

Today I also have not taken any alprazolam as I try experimenting tizanidin for a booster for oxycodone.

 

[Pegasus]

^Benzos need to be slowly tapered to avoid the withdrawal which can include seizures and possible death. You don't say how long you were on them other than it was a long period... You really need to taper so that 1) you can quit safely, and 2) you don't have as bad of rebound anxiety. Experiencing withdrawals with benzos, even from tapering too fast, is bound to make you very tense and that can easily carry over to the post-withdrawal period. I recommend never getting yourself into by this by planning out a reasonable withdrawal period.

Did your doctor not tell you that benzo withdrawal is so serious? I ask because it doesn't seem like you know this.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[NeighborhoodThreat]

^Exactly. Benzos aren't something you should stop taking cold turkey whatsoever. Your doctor should have told you that benzo withdrawal is very dangerous and should be done under the supervision of a professional who is experienced with benzo tapering plans and such things.

 

[MrRoot]

I have heard and read about benzo withdrawals being lethal but i have been on and off from them from 2007 when my bipolar disorder was diagnozed and never experienced withdrawals quitting cold turkey so I havent considered it so serious issue. Mostly I have been using diazepam and alprazolam for depression stage which can last for three months but now I have used them in manic state as well as remission stage and now I am suffering depression stage so I have used them for nearly a year.

It tends to be habit forming as the alprazolam is intended to be taken for panic attacks but for after a week or two I use them every day even if I dont have any panic attacks.

As I read my later post it made me realize that I should really stop taking benzos for all except alprazolam for panic attacks.

And I really should stop taking oxycodone recreationally every weekend twice or three times. Maybe bring it down to a once per weekend and then two times per month maximum.

So it would be wiser to taper alprazolam down to 0.25mg four times a day and diazepam 10mg once a day for week and then alprazolam down to 0.25 three times a day and diazepam 5mg per day?

 

[SubDude]

Hi there!
I have been taking 20mg of diazepam and 2mg of alprazolam for a long period for post traumatic stress disorder caused by being a peacekeeper in Afghanistan. During few months or so I have upped the dose during the weekends to double. And I am not experiencing panic attacks or generalized anxiety anymore.

So it has become a habit during the week and recreational usage during the weekends to boost my oxycodone recreational usage in weekends. I have slipped disc and am waiting for a surgery so I really need oxycodone to combat the pain. I use 10-20mg oxycodone daily and double that as crushed during weekends.

So I have taken few days off from benzos to check if I will experience any WDs and have not experienced any. But from the kind help to the link to benzo half-life table and article about diazepam building up in ones body's fat tissues I have been thinking tht during those few days off from benzos the diazepam build up has masked the withdrawals from alprazolam.

So I quitted taking diazepam today and only take 0.25mg of alprazolam four times a day and plan doing that for week and then stop taking alprazolam at all. Just to see if there are any withdrawals not planning to taper completely off from them.

During the week the diazepam should be gone from my body?

Can the oxycodone also mask the withdrawals from benzos?

I also use pregabalin 150mg twice a day as prescribed for the nerve pain and aripiprazole 15mg for bipolar disorder and now 75mg venlafaxin for depression phase I am currently suffering.

Today I also have not taken any alprazolam as I try experimenting tizanidin for a booster for oxycodone.

Similar situation as me except earlier war. If your out of service and using VA you can expect them to medicate for most all problems... especially if they can avoid surgery. They don't mind getting you addicted pills as much as spending on surgery. BTW if you're getting your Oxys at VA pain clinic and surgery doesn't get rid of pain. Don't be surprised if they decide you're an addict and transfer you over to BMT or MMT. I got out in 71' and was recovering at Miami VA hosp from both PTSD [didn't call it that then] and wounds. They told me morphine x 4 daily was no longer needed since they now had a miracle drug called Methadone which only needed to be taken once a day. They "forgot" to mention I would need to come in to hosp daily to dose after discharge.

Anyway, now days they give some vets methadone in pain clinic and you're not under same regulations as those who get it as being labeled an "addict". Hopefully you'll make full recovery and won't need opiates. Again...[if you're out of service] make sure you get service connected disability for PTSD. It will raise you to priority level ONE for medical care along with the compensation. I suspect you already know this but it took my a lot of yrs to realize I was elgible for PTSD benefits and had to fight tooth and nail to get them. BTW I have 11 separate medications on my active list... typical for many vets. Think I actually take 5-6.

 

[MrRoot]

I live in Finland so we have a little different system. We have tax paid healthcare which is virtually free to use but I qualify for veteran disability program but live 400km away from nearest veteran hospital so I can go to private sector for free and they hand out painkillers and benzos more easily than in public sector. I also get benefits for going to a school as I am studying in business college (roughly 3000 euros a month except for summer holidays i get only 80% of that as I am supposed to summer work but it is easier for me to just take the summer off) and I can work weekends for max 550 euros per month. After I finish school I get benefits roughly 1300 euros per month and can work freely. If I dont get a job after graduating they pay me roughly 2000 euros per month or I can go to university and they pay me again roughly 3000 euros per month so my financial situation is fine even though it took a year of battle against the system to get the benefits approved by our military and our national benefit organization.

But it was nice to notice when they paid the whole years benefits excluding the minimal benefit that state pays for a unemployed. I went straight to car dealer and bought me a new Kia Ceed.

But to stay in a topic can anyone estimate the amount of diazepam has build up in my systemand how long would it take to completely metabolize into a inactive metabolites?

 

[MrRoot]

Luckily I have nearly a degree in law which I studied before joing the peacekeeping forces so I can qualify for university after I finish business college and know how to answer to the questions national benefit organization will ask for me.

 

[MrRoot]

Hi,
Yesterday I did not take any diazepam or alprazolam because of the tizanidin and oxycodone combo. Today I cut my dosage in to half, only 10mg of diazepam and 1mg of alprazolam and dont feel any difference yet.

 

[MrRoot]

Still not feeling any WDs. Should I drop to 5mg diazepam and 0.5mg of alprazolam per day?

 

[Pegasus]

^IMO no... If you're not feeling w/d then it sounds like you're going at a pretty good pace. You don't want to feel w/d, it sucks and you'll take awhile to recover from it. The best way to avoid this (largely) is to just prevent serious w/d from happening in the first place.

 

[SubDude]

^^ agree with pegasus but in the end listen to what your body tells you... it won't lie unless you're referring to cravings or complicated and conflicting mental thought. I usually have two vloices talking to me... one says WD's aren't so bad and the other tells me it's so horrible I just can't do it. If you get something like that... listen to the positive one and try to get busy with some activity. Hot baths and walks did wonders for me until that devil voice starts yelling so loud I can't hear the angel anymore.