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“…almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny doesn’t have a beeper; destiny always leans trenchcoated out of an alley with some sort of ‘psst’ that you usually can’t even hear because you’re in such a rush to or from something important you’ve tried to engineer.”


“and Low, for the Earth was empty of Form, and void. And Darkness was all over the Face of the Deep. And We said: ‘look at that Fucker dance.’”


Henry David Wallace-Infinite Jest
 
“--and then you're in serious trouble, very serious trouble, and you know it, finally, deadly serious trouble, because this Substance you thought was your one true friend, that you gave up all for, gladly, that for so long gave you relief from the pain of the Losses your love of that relief caused, your mother and lover and god and compadre, has finally removed its smily-face mask to reveal centerless eyes and a ravening maw, and canines down to here, it's the Face In The Floor, the grinning root-white face of your worst nightmares, and the face is your own face in the mirror, now, it's you, the Substance has devoured or replaced and become you, and the puke-, drool- and Substance-crusted T-shirt you've both worn for weeks now gets torn off and you stand there looking and in the root-white chest where your heart (given away to It) should be beating, in its exposed chest's center and centerless eyes is just a lightless hole, more teeth, and a beckoning taloned hand dangling something irresistible, and now you see you've been had, screwed royal, stripped and fucked and tossed to the side like some stuffed toy to lie for all time in the posture you land in. You see now that It's your enemy and your worst personal nightmare and the trouble It's gotten you into is undeniable and you still can't stop. Doing the Substance now is like attending Black Mass but you still can't stop, even though the Substance no longer gets you high. You are, as they say, Finished. You cannot get drunk and you cannot get sober; you cannot get high and you cannot get straight. You are behind bars; you are in a cage and can see only bars in every direction. You are in the kind of a hell of a mess that either ends lives or turns them around.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
 
“Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really.”



“That having sex with someone you do not care for feels lonelier than not having sex in the first place, afterward.
That it is permissible to want.
That everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else. That this isn't necessarily perverse.
That there might not be angels, but there are people who might as well be angels.
That God — unless you're Charlton Heston, or unhinged, or both — speaks and acts entirely through the vehicle of human beings, if there is a God.
That God might regard the issue of whether you believe there's a God or not as fairly low on his/her/its list of things s/he/it's interested in re you.”


“We are all dying to give our lives away to something, maybe. God or Satan, politics or grammar, topology or philately - the object seemed incidental to this will to give ourselves away, utterly. To games or needles, to some other person. Something pathetic about it. A flight-from in the form of a plunging-into. Flight from exactly what? These rooms, blandly filled with excrement and heat? To what purpose?”


“That 99% of compulsive thinkers’ thinking is about themselves that 99% of this self-directed thinking consists of imagining and then getting ready for things that are going to happen to them and then weirdly that if they stop to think about it that 100% of the things they spend 99% of their time and energy imagining and trying to prepare for all the contingencies and consequences are never good. Then that this connects interestingly with the early-sobriety urge to pray for the literal loss of one’s mind. In short that 99% of the head’s thinking activity consists of trying to scare the everliving shit out of itself.”

― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
 
“If you imagine the 4,500-bilion-odd years of Earth's history compressed into a normal earthly day, then life begins very early, about 4 A.M., with the rise of the first simple, single-celled organisms, but then advances no further for the next sixteen hours. Not until almost 8:30 in the evening, with the day five-sixths over, has Earth anything to show the universe but a restless skin of microbes. Then, finally, the first sea plants appear, followed twenty minutes later by the first jellyfish and the enigmatic Ediacaran fauna first seen by Reginald Sprigg in Australia. At 9:04 P.M. trilobites swim onto the scene, followed more or less immediately by the shapely creatures of the Burgess Shale. Just before 10 P.M. plants begin to pop up on the land. Soon after, with less than two hours left in the day, the first land creatures follow.

Thanks to ten minutes or so of balmy weather, by 10:24 the Earth is covered in the great carboniferous forests whose residues give us all our coal, and the first winged insects are evident. Dinosaurs plod onto the scene just before 11 P.M. and hold sway for about three-quarters of an hour. At twenty-one minutes to midnight they vanish and the age of mammals begins. Humans emerge one minute and seventeen seconds before midnight. The whole of our recorded history, on this scale, would be no more than a few seconds, a single human lifetime barely an instant. Throughout this greatly speeded-up day continents slide about and bang together at a clip that seems positively reckless. Mountains rise and melt away, ocean basins come and go, ice sheets advance and withdraw. And throughout the whole, about three times every minute, somewhere on the planet there is a flash-bulb pop of light marking the impact of a Manson-sized meteor or one even larger. It's a wonder that anything at all can survive in such a pummeled and unsettled environment. In fact, not many things do for long.”

― Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything
 
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“It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realised, somehow, through the screaming of my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn’t sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it’s all you’ve got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.”


“The past reflects eternally between two mirrors -the bright mirror of words and deeds, and the dark one, full of things we didn't do or say.”


“A politician is someone who promises a bridge even when there's no water”


“A dream is a place where a wish and a fear meet. When the wish and the fear are exactly the same we call the dream a nightmare.”


“The cloak of the past is cut from patches of feeling, and sewn with rebus threads. Most of the time, the best we can do is wrap it around ourselves for comfort or drag it behind us as we struggle to go on. But everythign has its cause and its meaning. Every life, every love, every action and feeling and thought has its reason and significance: its beginning, and the part it plays in the end. Sometimes, we do see.”


“Sometimes it is necessary to do the wrong thing for the right reasons. The important thing is to be sure that our reasons are right, and that we admit the wrong--that we do not lie to ourselves, and convince ourselves that what we do is right.”


“I want everything,' she replied with a faint, wry smile. 'You know, I said that once to a friend of mine, and he told me that the real trick in life is to want nothing, and to succeed in getting it.”


“The worst things that people do to us always make us feel ashamed. The worst things that people do always strike at the part of us that wants to love the world. And a tiny part of the shame we feel, when we're violated, is shame at being human.”


― Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram
 
"Listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout heartache, I'll tell 'bout heartache and the loss of God."
—Jim Morrison
 
Tabby cat

he has on blue jeans and tennis shoes
and walks with two young girls
about his age.
every now and then he leaps
into the air and
clicks his heels together.

he’s like a young colt
but somehow he also reminds me
more of a tabby cat.

his ass is soft and
he has no more on his mind
than a gnat.

he jumps along behind his girls
clicking his heels together.

then he pulls the hair of one
runs over to the other and
squeezes her neck.

he has fucked both of them and
is pleased with himself.
it has all happened so easily for him.

and I think, ah,
my little tabby cat
what nights and days
wait for you.

your soft ass
will be your doom.
your agony
will be endless
and the girls
who are yours now
will soon belong to other men
who didn’t get their cookies
and cream so easily and
so early.

the girls are practicing on you
the girls are practicing for other men
for someone out of the jungle
for someone out of the lion cage.

I smile as
I watch you walking along
clicking your heels together.

my god, boy, I fear for you
on that night
when you first find out.

it’s a sunny day now.

jump
while you
can.
 
"I'm feeling strange in the night.
I'm not myself,
I feel I'm thrown into a fight..
Nowhere to run nowhere to hide
Nothings right.
My skin is burning when my rock begins to speak,
Is something going wrong with me?

I am changing happily.
I'm feeling stronger more alert
I'm on the move.
I smell her scent & I know I will find her soon,
The one to come & free me from this fate
I'll find her it's not too late.

Everytime the moon 🌙 shines I become alive, yeah

I watch the sun collapse & took up in the clizoud.
I am the lone wolf, go where I wanna.
Let the moonshine be the guide to the lizight,
Even when I stray away the light never left me

I learn to follow my instinct
Rather rap about that than the evil
Feeling out of place in a room full of people.
Don't try and be the same bitch,
You know your not a sequal."
- Alive by Kid Cudi
 
As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was a man
Shouting and screaming at another story window
To the crowd that was gathered down below
For he was so afraid

Jump
You fucker jump
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be alright
He jumped
Hit the deck
Broke his fucking neck
There was no blanket

Laugh
We nearly shat
We have not laugh so much since grandma died
Or auntie Mable caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Filthy fuckers
Arseholes

—Derek & Clive




💜
 
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