Nowornever1
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2021
- Messages
- 20
Hey everyone I just read a thread on here about the Bernese Method. I’m very interested in possibly doing it if there’s a high chance I don’t have to intensely suffer and go through pure hell like I usually do when I end up using after being clean for around 3-6 months. That’s been my pattern for the past 5 years out of the 8 years of being a junkie. It’s crazy that it took me this long to discover that such a method like this even existed. It almost sounds too good to be true. I’m kind of mad at the 12 rehabs, 13 mental hospitals, 4 suboxone doctors, 3 separate stints at the methadone clinic, 7 detox centers , 5 outpatient programs, and and the crazy amount of AA and NA meetings I’ve attended and still they failed to inform me of this option that sounds almost too good to be true. And I’m only half serious about being upset. It’s obviously not anyone’s fault or responsibility for my lack of knowledge and ability to get a hold over my addiction. But after reading a little bit about this method I became inspired and excited because I have some hope now that maybe I don’t have to deeply suffer like I usually have the countless times I’ve gone through this. I am not very familiar obviously with Bernese Method obviously since I just found out about it like an hour ago and that’s why I’m writing this. I know there are so many intelligent, experienced, and familiar people that are on this forum and they struggle with addiction like me. I wanted to get other different perspectives and angles in regards to my specific situation. So I lived in California for the majority of my junkie career and my thing was slamming black tar heroin and I enjoyed mixing it with some speed from time to time not only for the pure enjoyment I felt from it and as insane as it sounds I also mixed the two because I loved doing big amounts of heroin so jI thought adding speed might lower my chances or prevent overdose. I’ve overdosed a few times already and I thought I came up with a remedy by combining them. I believe the h may have been cut with fentanyl sometimes but I don’t know for sure and it’s probably irrelevant to my current situation right now anyways. So I moved to Florida last year and I stayed clean and took my suboxone but I relapsed after like 4 or 5 months. It’s like I can only hold on for so long before I start itching to get loaded. And so I do. Just like clockwork and once again I’m stuck in this dark place desperate and terrified because I know the painful hell that’s inevitably coming my way. The thing is I tried finding h over here in Florida but I had zero luck. Plus I think in the U.S h in general is definitely scarce and it’s like becoming extinct because of the recent insanely massive influx of fentanyl. My friend that’s in California told me even he can’t find h most of the time just fent. And I’m in the same predicament because being on fent just tripled the amount of time and pain of the already standard massively painful as fuck detox it takes to get off heroin. So I had no idea until recently that fent stays in a person’s system way longer than h so doctors are saying the suboxone induction process has to be anywhere between 5-10 days after the last time time using. Of course there are different factors that are involved in deciding when exactly it’s safe to transfer over to subs but omg the thought of having to go without anything for 7 days possibly or the nightmare of having to go through precipitated withdrawals again since it’s happened to me 3 times already scares the shit out of me.Right now I’m going hell. 6 days ago I went from shooting up a sickly high amount of fent to for the last 5 days orally taking the blue roxy 30s which barely holds me over. I took 7 pills the first day I was off the fent and then 6, 5, 4 and I’ve been stuck on 3 the last couple days. But I realized something yesterday those pills I’m using to try and soften the blow of my detox aren’t m 30s at all but in fact they’re pressed pills and it’s not much of a mystery what they’re pressed with. Definitely fent. But on a positive note I’m taking a fraction of the amount of fent these last 6 days and just orally compared to the amount of fent powder I was shooting up during the past 3 months. So I’m hurting but I really am desperate to go back on my suboxone and get the hell off this shit but it’s such hell as you already know. Do you think it’s possible with my circumstances I can do the Bernese Method successfully? If I can use that method I wouldn’t want to go back to shooting the powder fent as tempting as it sounds after learning about all of this. I’m sick in the head I know. I guess I would continue taking the pressed m30s in conjunction to micro dosing the subs? The thing is I’m really hurting bad because I’m still detoxing from shooting up all that powder fent just days ago and these pills are like a joke compared to the strength of the other stuff. I’m not taking the necessary amount to stay well. So in this method is it recommended to continue the person’s normal habit like the amount and all that? When I did some reading about the method it sounds like it’s unnecessary to suffer if I do the method properly and plus i thought the method implies that if I don’t have an amount of fent in my body to where I feel well then the method wouldn’t have a positive effect the part where I’m microdosing the bup or possibly throw me into PWD? Or maybe that’s just how I wanted to perceive it. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. So please just anyone let me know what you think and if you think it would work because right now I’m feeling completely lost and scared right now. I also briefly skimmed one or 2 posts on how this method won’t work with someone using fent but it doesn’t make sense to me that it can’t work since it’s worked for people on several different kinds of opiates. I just have to find the correct regimen to follow which I have no idea what that would be. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. And please if anyone gets a chance let me know your thoughts. I’ll be forever grateful.