Ive never hurt so bad in my life , I cant believe this happened
he seemed like he was doing better last night but the doctor said his stomach was filling with blood and the tumor was cancerous. They said that he couldnt survive the surgury and it would be really painful for him. They said that the most humane thing to do would be to put him to sleep , so my parents did. I told him I loved him before he left , im gonna miss him so much
Aw, I'm so sorry Charlie.

My family dog, Rosie, got a tumor in her heart and we had to put her to sleep. I decided I'd go with along with my mom while they did it. It was pretty horrible, really... I held her in my arms as she died. It kind of fucked me up... I was thinking beforehand that I would regret not doing it. I may have been right, I don't know. Either way, now, years later, I remember her fondly with a smile.
AMT has a pretty apparent dopamine/norepi component. I'd really like to give AET a sample.
AET is alright, I thought, but nothing to write home about. I found AMT to be superior in every way.
I've been reading recently (yesterday was occupied by 2CE) but I eventually read an entire trip report by Xorky - something I've never ever managed due to my inability to concentrate.
Anyway i typed in 4acoDMT trip reports into Erowid search facility & spies one by Xorky - which I decided to read -oddly enough the report was almost entirely about the positive aspects of AMT with 4acoDMT playing a minor part - notwithstanding it was enjoyable enough.
Ah, my AMT retrospective along with a particular experience.

I loved that trip. I had a lot of fun writing that also. Undoubtedly under the effects of AMT. That was during my AMT abuse phase where I was using it several times a week at full doses (for me ranged from 40 to 60mg usually, or occasionally more).
Absolutely.
So how have you all been? I've been busy/preoccupied so I haven't been online much recently. My family came to visit, as I had been talking about a week or two ago. We had loads of fun. My brother came without his girlfriend and everything was peachy. I found out he's definitely having a great college experience and although having a high school girlfriend is dragging him down a bit at times, it's not preventing him from living his own life and having fun and doing that whole college thing that I feel is so important to experience when you have a chance to. I'm going to see them again for Christmas in a couple of weeks, and I'm really looking forward to it.

I'll also be seeing my best friend for the first time in almost a year... he's like my brother since we've been best friends since second grade. He has a job playing trombone on cruise ships and is gone and unable to be reached for 5-8 months at a time. Then right after New Year's he'll be coming to visit us here for a week which will also be awesome. Next year he's probably moving to Prague to teach English for at least a year which will be awesome, though I seriously doubt I will have the time or money to visit.
I also got ahold of one of my best friends today from college who was one of my groomsmen at my wedding. He recently bought his first house with his girlfriend (who he's been with longer than my wife and I have been together... almost 10 years now I believe), and like my house, his is his dream house in the mountains. Although he lives in Colorado, near Boulder and Denver, rather than in the Appalachians. It was great to talk to him.
I ALSO got a random call from one of my best friends from my high school and early college years who I just sort of lost touch with and haven't talked to in 4 years. We're planning to meet up for at least a few hours when I'm visiting my parents for the holidays. Too bad I'll only be home for like 4 days.

Oh well... I guess that's what happens when you grow up. I miss being in college, when I could pretty much do whatever I wanted if I wanted to enough. Now I'd have to quit my job to be able to take more than 2 weeks of vacation per year. After this next year I'll be able to take 3 since I'll have worked there for 5 years. So that's good.
Today I had some poppy seed tea and it was especially good. I was thinking of reducing some of it to make a poppy seed tea opium, as I read PepperSocks had done. Pepper, how did you do that? And was it any good? Was it worth it? I'd imagine it would go farther since you smoke it... I was thinking of making some and bringing it with me when I visit my hometown for Christmas to share it with friends.