So last night I took part in an Ayahuasca ritual therapy session in Amsterdam (where I am currently living) with a shaman in a group setting with some wonderful people. We drank the mixture about 4 times during the night and all I can say is wow. I mean I have had many experiences of "oneness" before, from LSD, DMT, Mushrooms, 2CE, Ketamine, etc.....but this was the most genuine "oneness" experience I have ever had.
We started off by doing 2 hours of bioenergetics (kinda like a mixture of contact improv and yoga) to get the energy level up and to develop trust with each other. And then we preceded to drink the sacrament. After the 2nd cup- I started to feel the most negative feelings I have ever experienced- I was so sad- crying- shaking- I almost wanted to kill myself- thoughts were racing- i felt soooo lost- like there was no point- I then puked and felt the most major release I have ever felt- After, I looked up and saw a massive white light burning from the ceiling- the whole room ripped apart and i was taken to another dimension- very similar but also very different from a DMT flash- I was dancing with spirits who actually looked way more human than the alien-like entities from DMT flashes- and we danced in this holographic room and they were laughing with me. They were imparting some sort of wisdom to me. They looked so strange- like they really had Asian or Brazilian type looking faces and It was a very jungle-esque experience.
Anyways, after that my ego was obliterated and I looked at my body and saw just God- i looked around the room and I saw God. What I already knew before- but on succccchhhhhh a deeper level!!!!! Eventually my ego started to slowly come back and I learned who i was. I was perceiving existence at the molecular level where the normal barriers that separate me from everything else were obliterated- it was pure love. that was the answer. every moment is the right opportunity to open up your heart with love. live in the heart, abide in the heart! I know it sounds cheesy- but it all flows from pure love which is oneness in its essence. I was eternity- beginningless and endless!; the ancient realization we have realized infinite times in infinite different forms. I dont ever want to forget! but I guess that is part of it all hahahahaha! It really is an infinite game of hide and seek with ourself! the deeper you go- the more levels and layers you find. The illusion never stops- but under it all- its just ONE. ONE MAY BE THE LONELIEST BUT IT IS ALSO THE MOST UNIFIED.
I was so sad because I was scared. I was scared of the oneness. Every moment of our lives, we can either choose love or fear. We can hold ourselves back with taking drugs all the time and not taking opportunities or we can trust in the universe, open up our hearts with love and lite and live in the now. We are creating the universe right now- every moment. So live with love and create that way. The whole world is living in fear!!!!!! we all cant change the world but we can do our part and live with love and help the people around us. Its so crazy- we are all here on this beautiful planet, we all come from the same source- BUT WE ARE FUCKING KILLING EACH OTHER!!!!!!! because of FEAR!!!!- why are we spending billions on war when we can explore space (inner and outer) together, for eternity. Its a cosmic joke and we are just holding back from what we can really achieve.
I preceded to puke again after drinking a 4th cup and had a similar cathartic release.
This plant is soooo special. I dont think I will use any other psychedelic again in a recreational setting since in a group, ritual setting it is soooo fantastic. I really feel healed- i never felt so damn healed from a plant before. I felt the plant going through my body and healing my mind, body and spirit. I hope this connection doesnt fade away! I know this realization is not novel for me but I felt it at such a deeper level!!!!! I really felt one with everything in the most beautiful way I have ever experienced. Mind, body and spirit are all one.
I recommend aya to everybody and anybody who wants to try an entheogen in a group ritual, sacramental setting- and who is interested. You get out what you put in! so preparation is key!
If anybody has any questions or comments please add!
love to all.
Glad to have some people that are in a position to understand. Join the club! Our independent fellas club, there are meticulously planned out meetings but nobody ever comes. So no club after all... d'oh!
Nothing like stumbling out of bed, ripping a huge bowl of DMT, and blasting some full-on psytrance first thing on a beautiful Sunday morning! 
