Jealousy sucks man. Some people are just like that. I hope it starts feeling better for you soon one way or another.
My girlfriend is really good friends with her ex boyfriend, they were together for 5 years and they're really close. He lives in California and visits sometimes, and right now (and every year) she goes to Cali for 2 months to do trimming for him. I had a hard time with it when he was just an idea, although I never externalized that to her, but once I met him and spent time with him and with the 3 of us, I never had a problem with it again, that guy's great, he's my friend too.
idk man, that 2 months away with the ex business would definitely not fly with me
on the other hand I've told the story before I think about how my baby-moms got back together with her long term boyfriend after he got out of jail (we had a brief fling during his incarceration and this resulted in her getting pregnant), I had known him a little bit thru the local scene, but not really. a mutual friend of hers & mine who really aggressively tried to set us up was filling my mind with a lot of notions about how he was a terrible guy and used to hit her and stuff, and my knowing her (the mutual friend) a lot better than either of them kinda took her word for it but it turned out to be way exaggerated to say the least, actually after he got out of jail and she broke it off with me and got back with him the three of us would hang out from to time. this same dude is now raising my son who just turned 10 just like he was his own and I have all the respect in the world for the man to the point I can't even express it.
various people said:
a lot of binging going on around here
I'd be a monstrous hypocrite to tell y'all not to do it (look at some of my posts in the original PD social threads lol or even my lifestyle now as goes for booze and stuff) but dudes be careful, especially the OGs, we're not young anymore and can't party and hold it down like we used to (Xorkoth, yeah, I'm looking at you, again, me being a huge hypocrite, but still), I can remember the days when I could go to some warehouse party or whatever on like six drugs, dance the night away, do some business, and then go to my straight job in the morning and be alright, basically it was 40-60 hours a week straight job 30-40 hours a week scene. fast, fast, very fast. it's inconceivable to me now. like, I really can't imagine or process the shit that I used to do, it feels like it was someone else, and to some extent, it was
was someone else because I was always operating under different names and stuff, what undercovers call "legends," you know, sometimes I actually have to think about things like my name, where I'm from, how old I am, etc. because I've lived so many different realities, you could call them lies, but they were just personas, to keep different parts of my life separate. it was needed.
to the people who were talking about random powders - I can actually remember playing "name that drug" one New Years Eve, again, we're not kids anymore, I can't imagine doing any shit like that; or the time that I accidentally dosed LSD by inhalation when trying to weigh some of the stuff out, whoa boy, yeah. fuck. life is so different now. it's incomprehensible. eventually that kinda stuff has to end, and the end often isn't pretty; I really hope that y'all guys go out gently from the vida loca, yeah? I didn't; lefft me with all sorts of confusion and diffusion and PTSD, shit sucks. but what can you do. it's life. so it goes. life goes on.
I already downloaded that Reflection album when you posted the Ekto link too!
