Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
That's beautiful man, made me glow even more than I already am to read it. 
☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: Somatic Swirly Sepia Summer Sausage Stage Set Suppository
- Thread starter Xorkoth
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Cream Gravy?
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Wonderful psy 
educators are underappreciated much of the time, I'm sure you did make his year! I had a few professors who I truly respect and have told them as such, that I value everything they are doing for us; then there was my senior capstone teacher, she was a fine woman with a finer brain... pretty sure there were sparks there, but the last time I ran into her on campus I just waved and made a passing 'hello' and immediately after I was like "Shoulda asked her out for coffee or somethin..." lul. I'm amazed I passed that class with such flying colors, as I was kinda busy eye-f**kin' her every class, but then again, my capstone was about the history of the counter-culture, sooo, right up my alley.
educators are underappreciated much of the time, I'm sure you did make his year! I had a few professors who I truly respect and have told them as such, that I value everything they are doing for us; then there was my senior capstone teacher, she was a fine woman with a finer brain... pretty sure there were sparks there, but the last time I ran into her on campus I just waved and made a passing 'hello' and immediately after I was like "Shoulda asked her out for coffee or somethin..." lul. I'm amazed I passed that class with such flying colors, as I was kinda busy eye-f**kin' her every class, but then again, my capstone was about the history of the counter-culture, sooo, right up my alley.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Haha, my freshman year I had to take a public speaking sort of class (can't remember what it was called but it was a requirement and had to do with writing speeches and performing them in front of the class), and the teacher was this super hot 23 year old student, first year grad student. Some of the people in the class were older than her. All the guys just spent the whole time staring at her, she was straight up gorgeous... really nice too.
xammy
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I rarely talk about my studies here but I study social sciences and just finished the blueprint of my bachelor's thesis today. I had several months to do it but I didn't do anything university-related stuff for months because I was so out of this world with this new love.
Anyway I felt I was in dead-end about it and contacted the professor a few days ago and it really helped me. It's about about the Self-Determination Theory and motivational interviewing and how those help with drug addictions. I told the man that I have gone through some kind of drug addiction myself (well I haven't the kind of people talk about where you lose everything to the drugs, but drugs have been a strong part of my life for years - still is) and know the phenomenon from the inside. Somehow I've been able to hold it all together while using a lot of drugs but I've always known where the limit is. Kudos to you guys too because I've read a lot of your stories about opiate addictions and stuff here over the years. That painted the image of opiates as a bad thing in my brain and even when I have used them and felt how good they feel I understood that yeah, that is some serious shit - don't do this. Another thing is that both of my biological parents died because of opiates when I was a kid. I never want to end up like them and that is the motivation thriving inside me to use drugs responsibly. I feel proud of myself for what I've accomplished while using the drugs - thing that most people can't do and end up fucking up their life. Now I'm knocking on wood but I know myself so well that drugs aren't the answer when you're having problems. It's facing them, feeling the emotions and sorrow, crying it out and coming back stronger than yesterday. Being sad is equally important to being happy, probably even more important.
Never stop believing that fighting for what's right is worth it.
Anyway I felt I was in dead-end about it and contacted the professor a few days ago and it really helped me. It's about about the Self-Determination Theory and motivational interviewing and how those help with drug addictions. I told the man that I have gone through some kind of drug addiction myself (well I haven't the kind of people talk about where you lose everything to the drugs, but drugs have been a strong part of my life for years - still is) and know the phenomenon from the inside. Somehow I've been able to hold it all together while using a lot of drugs but I've always known where the limit is. Kudos to you guys too because I've read a lot of your stories about opiate addictions and stuff here over the years. That painted the image of opiates as a bad thing in my brain and even when I have used them and felt how good they feel I understood that yeah, that is some serious shit - don't do this. Another thing is that both of my biological parents died because of opiates when I was a kid. I never want to end up like them and that is the motivation thriving inside me to use drugs responsibly. I feel proud of myself for what I've accomplished while using the drugs - thing that most people can't do and end up fucking up their life. Now I'm knocking on wood but I know myself so well that drugs aren't the answer when you're having problems. It's facing them, feeling the emotions and sorrow, crying it out and coming back stronger than yesterday. Being sad is equally important to being happy, probably even more important.
Never stop believing that fighting for what's right is worth it.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Yes I agree with that, drugs are not the answer when you're having problems (except, sometimes, a good psychedelic trip with purpose, if you're experienced). Using drugs to hide/ignore is always going to make things worse. For me drugs are for when I'm happy and celebrating. Now they are anyway, opiate addiction taught me a whole lot.
Can I ask about what your purposes for metaprogramming were, and if you were able to sustain the state? I guess by your response that the answers are, maybe not.
I find meditation to be slightly dissociative anyways, but nothing like dissociatives proper. The connection is something I enjoy exploring.
axnow
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I would really like to use dissos for more theraputic purposes, including metaprogramming. My issue is that once I get going, I can't hold back from getting hedonistic with it. I have a few times accidentally gotten into the state of flying a spaceship through the lattice of my personality / layers of assumptions / reflexes etc. I could connect physical structures in that space to aspects of my psyche and imagine "surgery" that I could connect to having a different mindset about something. Funny thing, this happened only a few weeks ago but I'll be damned if I can remember the specific neurosis I was working on. Felt so significant at the time though.
I think with more intention and planning I would be able to apply it more effectively with a lasting effect. I think. I also think "easy come, easy go" and that doing the same kind of work via meditation and mindfulness would be even more powerful.
On another note, I gave phenibut a serious try this weekend. God damn. I have seen a lot of people say "I took X and it was like something clicked and I became the way I am supposed to be" -- well this is as close to that as I've ever come. I am worried and anxious and judging myself all the time, to the point that I'm not even aware of it, and the absence of those feelings was so stark. I really don't want to get into trouble with GABAergic dependence. Plus it made me kinda stupid and clumsy, and I have to be very sharp for my work, not to mention driving the kids around etc. Already starting to obsess over giving it another go this weekend...
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
Hope my bluelight family is havig a good day or evening. What are you guys new year plans? Im celebrating with friends and family...playing guitar for everyone while blasted on a psychedelic or two. Been a long time since i tripped so im xcited. ?
swilow
Bluelight Crew
Swirl on my friends, swirl on
Cream Gravy?
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My ball python Sunflower is dying essentially, like a Buddhist monk who starves himself out of a desire to not harm any living creatures... I've tried everything to get her to eat. Last Monday I took her to the vet finally; he said she hasn't any illness or parasites, and other than that she's too thin, is perfectly fine. So the vet force fed her some junk to hopefully jump start her digestive tract, told me to put a hole in a terracotta pot and then scent the rat with gerbil bedding, and to leave it in there for her to 'hunt'. He said it has 90% efficacy in getting BPs to eat... well guess what, my stupid bitch of a snake went in there, hung out with the rat, and still didn't eat it. It's been almost 6 months since she last ate, she has to eat soon lest she die of malnutrition... I'm taking her back Monday, and they'll likely force feed her some more food again and tell me to try the same methods, or perhaps a freshly killed/live prey item... but she's been eating F/T her whole life, there's no reason for her to change! I'm freaking the fuck out, and every vet visit costs $100 and I'm already having to take loans from my girlfriend because I cannot afford it... I've decided I'll never own another pet again in my life. If she doesn't starve to death first, she could live up to 30 or more years. If she's giving me this shit every few years till I'm fuckin' fifty, I'm gonna die before her of stress.
Literally nothing in my life seems to be going right these past months and to top it all off my BP is suicidally Buddhist. I mean, what in the actual fuck.
Literally nothing in my life seems to be going right these past months and to top it all off my BP is suicidally Buddhist. I mean, what in the actual fuck.
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coelophysis
Bluelight Crew
Ratiel in the Snakes den
yepyepwoah
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been vegetarian for 3 years. I do not like to cook, so I am kind of a shitty vegetarian. Until I rethink my cooking habits going vegan probably wont happen :-(
TheAppleCore
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Jealous. I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't eat cheese, and eggs give me wicked heartburn.
Could be! Butter is my favorite. Especially buffalo milk butter. Has anyone tried that? It has a very complex, almost slightly cheesy flavor to it. Very yummy, do recommend.
Pretty cool how everyone here seems to be so conscious about how/what they it. I love it
I think it goes hand in hand with tripping. I believe that psychedelics have made me more sensitive to my body's signals.
Once you've learned to associate it with feeling crappy, junk food loses its appeal anyway. There's nothing sexier than a pile of steamed spinach... mmmm.
While we're on the subject of food... natto! That stuff is legendary! For those who haven't tried it yet, it's certainly an acquired taste (in fact I can almost 100% guarantee that you'll hate it the first time you try it), but once you realize that you're not actually eating spoiled garbage, it's so much fun!! The gooey texture is so unique; it's got a rich, savory yet almost chocolatey flavor; and it's quite filling.
Sadly natto also gives me acid reflux, but my esophagus is a special kind of special, so I won't let that color my love for natto.
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yepyepwoah
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Thanks for the words (you and others).
I think the night I made that post I bag washed two DCK bags. Got in a pretty good mood and decided on an impromptu trip. Like 20mg 4 ho mipt, 50mgmxe and 100mg ket.
Shoulda gone and left the ket for midway through as I blacked outish. It was a positive trip that just makes me miss mxe's unparalleled ability to make me give a fuck.
Going hiking sunday. Dont care how cold or windy fuck being inside. Want to go skydive but its been super windy all the days Ive been able to go this month.
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
My best man. Pets are important...pets are our friends or kids. I feel for ya. I wish i had advice but im sure the vet is doing all they can and im glad your girlfriend ias helping you. Truly wishing for some good news.
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
Take it day by day. This year i learned what one day at a time really means. I wish i could give you a hug. Be well and reach out cause people care.
Help?!?!
Bluelighter
I am!
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