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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?

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TripSitterNZ said:
holy fuck, it also details all the physical illnesses LSD will protect you from. This shit is a mircale drug and pharmas best kept secert.
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So....You make me think then that it must be the best medicine for me so it's OK the amount I've taken already tonight I don't need to be asking myself if it's wrong I just trust that it's all for the best in the long run.

Interesting.
 
Psychotic patients, especially schizophrenics, are more resistant to the psychologic and hallucinogenic (though not necessarily to the somatic) effects of LSD than mentally normal or neurotic individuals (STOLL, 1947, 1952; CONDRAU, 1949; BECKER, 1949; BUSCH and JOHNSON, 1950; FORRER and GOLDNER, 1951; RINKEL et a!., 1952; HOCH et a!., 1952; ARNOLD and HOFF, 1953 a, and many others). With sufficiently high doses, however, an increase in psychomotor activity and verbal exteriorization may be obtained even in stuporous schizophrenics, and patients with mania may become greatly excited. LSD often accentuates the preexisting emotional state, so that melancholic patients become still more depressed and manic patients still more euphoric (CONDRAU, 1949; SLOANE and LOVETT DousT, 1954). Psychiatric patients are usually able to distinguish between the drug-induced and their usual hallucinations. In neurotic patients, especially when applied in connection with analytic psychotherapy, LSD may produce very conspicuous disinhibiting effects, and thus greatly
 
A striking case of intoxication in a 2-year-old boy who ingested the huge amount of 180llg/kg LSD has been described by SAMUELSSON (1974): After an initial phase of extreme excitability with ataxia and mydriasis, the child, without loosing consciousness, went into a state of total catatonia which lasted for about 4 h. Laboratory investigations as well as ECG and EEG remained normal; recovery was uneventful and there were no lasting sequela
 
How many kg's does an average 2 year old weigh? 25? Lol maybe 15.

Lot of 180 ug tabs anyhow.

I Wouldn't do it.
 
It was only 1500 mics end. But 42 in week, 92 1/2 in 20 days I think.

Not to bad. Just thank God I haven't actually got my own liquid after all because I dread to think the rash things I might go in the spur of the moment when really not fancying eating large amounts of paper anymore is the final deter and impractical and palatable sense.

So I've realised that by having my LSD safely laid.on paper is the safest place for me personally to have access to it.
 
So. Very big incident out of blue here.

The biggest by miles ever argument with my mum.

Can't do details now. I hurt possibly broke my right hand on a hard object, not doe anything like that in years. It's escalated and escalated to pretty much full blown war I've now barricaded my bedroom door because my mum was aggressively insisting on coming in and taking all of my Etizolam.

No way. My nervous system is dangerously sensitised towards her she can't understand this and I really can't help it so the thought of letting her into my own not even safe space any longer she's absolutely fuming and puffing in blinding red wine last night rage trying to force the door down no way right now.

Focus is fading because I took a 15 mg dose of Etizolam just to stop me trembling in despair at the realisation that there is no way to reconcile this situation at the moment unless there is some kind of miracle.

I took that big dose of it is and it's relaxed my other boys extreme panic state but also made me very sleepy so I'll have to leave this because it's not doing justice to the extreme of tea of the situation.

Sorry I can't add more context but I really hurt my right hand and I can hardly keep focus at the moment from the benzo dosage.

Call it's trouble for the moment though because of never been in quite such and no way out no my back feeling situation in my life and I'm sure my mum has not either and so many things were said by her which made it clear to me there is no way to repair this situation now.
 
AutoTripper said:
So. Very big incident out of blue here.

The biggest by miles ever argument with my mum.
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Didn't have much time but wanted to respond. A couple of points to make note of. People fight when they need to create space. It is the verbal equivalent to shoving someone to get space.

Second, if someone is drunk that is no time to argue. As you see it disrupts the peace. lol If your mom drinks to excess then you need to find a better place to live. Not easy living with heavy drinkers. If it was just one occassional night then she deserves that for herself.

Third, it will blow over. Let your mum cool off. and you lay down and get some rest AT.

Sounds like this was brewing good while. I mean I feel for both you and your mom. I suspect your mom is my age or younger. It is not easy trying to make ends meet in this hard life we live. I totally get it.

Do not let her confiscate all your etizolam AT. Find a better way to stash. That is threatenting torture however it sounds like she is not happy about that use under her roof.
All of these things just mean they are clamoring for your attention. You have a relationship with your mum that needs addressing and your relationship with substances that needs addressing too. Whatever it is you are looking for with all the acid you do not seem to be finding. So backing off will help for some balance.

Here is the deal with gobbling more and more acid. Ram Dass (when he was Richard Alpert) said in the prt 1 of Be Here Now this:

"At one point we took 5 people and locked ourselves in a building for 3 weeks and we took 400 mcgs of LSD every 4 hours. That is 2400 mcg a day, which sounds fancy but after your first dose you build a tolerance. There is a refractory period. We finally were just drinking it out of the bottle as it did not matter anymore. We were very high. What happened in those 3 weeks no one would ever believe including us. After 3 weeks we walked out of the house and within a few days we came down!"

The stories of Nick Sand and Owsley and living in a house where it is made. They all said you are always high. But most will tell you it is a waste. And now AT, you have the experience to know some of that yourself. Take a year off you will be surprised how well it can work again and give insight.

Stay well brother I have to be traveling a little this week so I figured I'd give you some advice before I left. I imagine a post like one you left was to inform us and maybe get some insight. My insight for today, stay away from your mum, no arguing, lay down and get rest even if it is watching a movie and for God sakes make sure you stash some of your etizolam. You already know you can't just stop taking it. Slow and steady. :)
 
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Hey AT, I'm sorry about this big blowout. First of all, read JackARoe's post, it's good stuff.

Secondly, I think you should take this opportunity to sleep since you're drowsy and being on a bunch of benzos (and your mom being drunk) is not a good situation in which to try to face each other. It will only result in more damage.

Thirdly, it sounds like there is some stuff to talk about when you and your mom are both sober. You have made reference to another fight with her before. Now I don't know your situation at all, but I have some guesses (which may or may not have any basis in reality). Don't let her try to force you into something you are not or attribute qualities to you that she is projecting, or make you feel like less than you are. That said, she probably has some valid concerns and you should try to listen to her and see if there are things you can improve about your living situation with her. And perhaps about yourself too. You're a lovely fellow but everyone should always be on a road to self-improvement, that never ends.

Lastly, please see a doctor about your hand, if it gets worse. I punched a refrigerator in a fight with my ex wife, and broke it. Had to get a splint and stuff. The specialist wanted to put titanium rods in my hand but I turned that down, but I definitely did need to see a doctor to get the splint. Not only does it help to stabilize it, it will help you not to accidentally use it and make the damage worse.
 
JackARoe said:
Didn't have much time but wanted to respond. A couple of points to make note of. People fight when they need to create space. It is the verbal equivalent to shoving someone to get space.

Second, if someone is drunk that is no time to argue. As you see it disrupts the peace. lol If your mom drinks to excess then you need to find a better place to live. Not easy living with heavy drinkers. If it was just one occassional night then she deserves that for herself.

Third, it will blow over. Let your mum cool off. and you lay down and get some rest AT.

Sounds like this was brewing good while. I mean I feel for both you and your mom. I suspect your mom is my age or younger. It is not easy trying to make ends meet in this hard life we live. I totally get it.

Do not let her confiscate all your etizolam AT. Find a better way to stash. That is threatenting torture however it sounds like she is not happy about that use under her roof.
All of these things just mean they are clamoring for your attention. You have a relationship with your mum that needs addressing and your relationship with substances that needs addressing too. Whatever it is you are looking for with all the acid you do not seem to be finding. So backing off will help for some balance.

Here is the deal with gobbling more and more acid. Ram Dass (when he was Richard Alpert) said in the prt 1 of Be Here Now this:

"At one point we took 5 people and locked ourselves in a building for 3 weeks and we took 400 mcgs of LSD every 4 hours. That is 2400 mcg a day, which sounds fancy but after your first dose you build a tolerance. There is a refractory period. We finally were just drinking it out of the bottle as it did not matter anymore. We were very high. What happened in those 3 weeks no one would ever believe including us. After 3 weeks we walked out of the house and within a few days we came down!"

The stories of Nick Sand and Owsley and living in a house where it is made. They all said you are always high. But most will tell you it is a waste. And now AT, you have the experience to know some of that yourself. Take a year off you will be surprised how well it can work again and give insight.

Stay well brother I have to be traveling a little this week so I figured I'd give you some advice before I left. I imagine a post like one you left was to inform us and maybe get some insight. My insight for today, stay away from your mum, no arguing, lay down and get rest even if it is watching a movie and for God sakes make sure you stash some of your etizolam. You already know you can't just stop taking it. Slow and steady. :)
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Thanks my friend I don't ever ever in my whole life get into a situation like this where I feel like there is really no way to achieve any sense of peace for living which is vital to simply eat enough to continue surviving in such a high level of trauma and no way by feeling I know situations can be blown up but also sometimes things can just come to a point where it seems impossible to continue.

It was most unexpected and will probablsy take some time but thank you very much for your encouragement and supports.

I don't think there is anything that could be any worse at the moment I'm not looking to go ridiculous on the benzo dosage just not holding back for the meantime because despairing emotionally and feeling a nervous wreck is worse right now and I have come to a point in life where I don't feel there's anything to lose lose.

Really sorry to be so glum my friend I don't normally hear seven sports like this.

Regardless I do still genuinely hope that you have an interesting week away working and allsorts.


I'm not looking to be reckless. Just, potentially extreme now in a no tomorrow sense. Potentially.
 
Take a vacation or something. Getaway somewhere without LSD and Benzos if you can. They threw me in the hospital over nonsense, so just saying, it could happen. If you're single, unmarried, w.o. kids you're an easy target.

Life's not going how you want it maybe. My legal transition took the fight out of me. I mean, yeah I get angry, and depressed and stuff. But I'd say the LSD and Benzos would swing your mood bipolar. Without a doubt you're schizophrenic, but it's just a title for something that goes beyond simple thought and reason.

Just hope you can calm down a bit and make the most out of your current living situation. Cuz it could change. fast. @AutoTripper
 
ions said:
Take a vacation or something. Getaway somewhere without LSD and Benzos if you can. They threw me in the hospital over nonsense, so just saying, it could happen. If you're single, unmarried, w.o. kids you're an easy target.

Life's not going how you want it maybe. My legal transition took the fight out of me. I mean, yeah I get angry, and depressed and stuff. But I'd say the LSD and Benzos would swing your mood bipolar. Without a doubt you're schizophrenic, but it's just a title for something that goes beyond simple thought and reason.

Just hope you can calm down a bit and make the most out of your current living situation. Cuz it could change. fast. @AutoTripper
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Thanks mate I'm always working on it now this is Again problem here because in a normal life none of these problems would exist because there would be freedom and opportunity and travel and work and employment and energy and now chronic debilitating painful conditions and such high levels of stress and I would not be literally stuck at home practically unable to travel for a single night because of the unusual demands and complexities of my allergy symptoms alone let alone chronic fatigue condition and so much more more.

The real difficulty currently this year is that every single year my mum has always enjoyed taking at least one annual holiday and usually only one for six days to stay with my auntie and now ex-uncle in Wales.

We have always tended to have a very intense relationship and the holiday has always been barely but just enough for me to just totally access that state of peace and control over my environment let go of all stress and trauma which has built up over the year year and build a positive focus going forward into the winter and year beyond.

However for the first time there will be no holidays for either of us this year and literally no single days break away from each other which apart from anything has been a complete lack of that usual focus which has always been VoiceOver typing mechanism for me personally.

And it's just not possible or practical for myself to go anywhere just for a night even I definitely couldn't go on any sort of proper holiday or a weekend away I don't know how I would basically manage the Catch-22 task of feeding my body and tending to respiratory reactions and the rest without the full artillery and dietary home cooked freedom I depend upon which only my own abode can provide.

I don't think I can handle any more LSD for the moment though so I'm not itching to do that but I will be seeking out some kava.

And for the meantime the benzodiazepines really are the lesser evil sometimes it is actually true that's extreme situations cool for extreme measures.

@ions Thanks mate hope your week is going well I appreciate your words and I know that you do care about people and always say what do you think without going into too much detail lol 🙄
 
I drink. That's where my inner drives go to. It's taking a toll on me physically. But I just assume you are bored most days and do the drugs to dull the boredom. A lot of us are finding that lifestyle and trying to manage it. I just wish antipsychotics weren't favorably prescribed by prescribing doctors. Because that's what you're heading towards if you haven't already hit the nerve. But I find the pot use healthy, except that I smoke more than eat because of cost and such. Then now I have mushrooms. So something like that. But Even Shulgins turn on no more than twice a week. @AutoTripper I'm going for a beer run rn.
 
ions said:
I drink. That's where my inner drives go to. It's taking a toll on me physically. But I just assume you are bored most days and do the drugs to dull the boredom. A lot of us are finding that lifestyle and trying to manage it. I just wish antipsychotics weren't favorably prescribed by prescribing doctors. Because that's what you're heading towards if you haven't already hit the nerve. But I find the pot use healthy, except that I smoke more than eat because of cost and such. Then now I have mushrooms. So something like that. But Even Shulgins turn on no more than twice a week. @AutoTripper I'm going for a beer run rn.
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It's really not actually a case of boredom it's actually a case of distraction and calming my super intense mind and imagination down and managing a very severe anxiety and panic disorder I don't ever feel bored and I could actually genuinely spend time without any substances I just need my own space to be in control of those other aspects I mention above.

When it comes to doctor prescriptions and site antipsychotics there is no way I can take anything like that because I am so badly allergic to old prescription medicines and virtually all over the counter and Internet vitamin supplements and minerals.

In the case of mainstream prescriptions like tablets powders and liquids I'm allergic to it doesn't excipients in virtually every case and almost guaranteed the actual medicines themselves which would cause such intolerably severe respiratory allergenic reaction as well as major digestive malfunction it would kill me quicker then I would get any benefit out of it that's no exaggeration.

It's not actually that I need antipsychotics because I'm really not losing my mind all the plot or my wits or intellect it's just a really hard world and a hard life.

Give me basic physical energy and comfort and simple freedom to live any sort of regular live in a world which is not full of misery and impending doom and I really could be pretty alright. Enjoy your beer run I wasn't sure if you meant right now today if so then that's my preference so you get to have your fun now or if you mean another festival type thing either way have a good time there.
 
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