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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?

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Anxiety to my core today. 7.5mg temazepam didn't touch it, afraid to take more and pass out. Slept like 40 of the last 48 hours already. So sick of life right now. When does the good stuff start?
 
SKL said:
more importantly exploiting natural resources and setting themselves up to do so and thereby coopt the West with various critical supply chains thereby increasing the already very significant dependence of the rest of the world on China.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that we can agree on, they are certainly and explicitly trying to rise to world dominance, I just don't think they are driven by the type of "enlightenment" thinking that has motivated the west to import and impose their own history, politics, economy and ethics everywhere they arrived. It is my impression that the Chinese see Chinese culture as something for "the Chinese people". And that is rooted in a different, but extreme form of nationalism. As far as I understand the situation and read its development, they are not very concerned with universalism or even internationalism soviet style, they just want to position themselves as the top player in the global economy.


SKL said:
Yeah it must kind of suck as a continent to have had the Bolívarian revolutions throwing off the Spanish monarchy in the 19th century and then not to soon thereafter getting sucked into the control of a much closer superpower. It's kind of the nature of international power politics though. Communism that close to home was (and is) just not something the US can tolerate, we came very close to nuclear war over Russian actions in a much smaller (albeit much closer) nation and currently are engaged in all sorts of fuckery in Venezuela and Bolivia. Interesting to note that they maintained significant Russian ties e.g. they are currently getting Russian COVID Vax and even more interestingly Chile is getting the Chinese one which is a significant flex of soft power if their ever was one. Interesting times we live in for sure.
Click to expand...

I guess this is true though. I guess that's just the way things are, and will increasingly be so in a globalized world. But that's kinda my point, I don't see China's intentions as a "global threat", it's just an emerging superpower competing for dominance. I'm not pro-China by any means, but I don't really think it makes that much of a difference to the world as a whole if their economic influence continues to grow and displaces other nations. I understand and admit, though, that my feelings on the matter are more likely to be indifferent given than I live in a country that just sits on the sidelines, rather than in the cuspid, of international power relations. Regarding Chinese vaccines, it's likely because Chile has significant economic treaties with China ... We share the same ocean after all.

Appreciate your take !
 
So.... buddy came by on the weekend for some beers around the fire. Seeing as I’m not drinking I figured why not Tiletamine (I know I know but this is it for a few months. I swear lol 🥴). I thought some low doses should put me on a similar wave length...

But with tolerance from a week ago and being the disso pig I am I went a little higher than low and redosed twice. In total <100mg.

Anyways I was up late then awake early. And as I find it kinda stimulating I figured why not an actual low dose the next night to keep me going so I’m not in bed too early and up at 3 am.

But come T 2hr and I’m doing some work around the house and my fine motor control is shot, my hands and arms were shaking as I tried to water the plants (the can is def not that heavy). This persisted well into the next day, though not as bad.

I wrote it off as persistent alcohol shakes exasperated by some nmda function. Increased my magnesium supplement and it’s much less noticeable today.

But then I saw this post on reddit today where the user was bingeing on small amounts of Tiletamine over the course of a month and noticed this phenomenon much worse than I experienced.

I was wondering if anyone had experienced such side effects from other nmda antagonists (or Tiletamine if you’ve tried it)?

I don’t recall this from the last batch and I had binged more on it before I ran out (but that was a month or more ago). This batch looks different (I know looks don’t mean anything) and seems slightly different in effects/potency (likely tolerance related)... I really should test it 🤨 ffs
 


Needs more lyrics but the lyrics I do have are:

I don't know how
I don't know why
I don't know what happened
What day we died
I don't know where
I don't know when
But I know with how we've changed
We'll never be that way again
I've lost you now
But now I see
Tho its the best for you its not the best for me
I couldn't hold on
To my sanity
Now you both are gone
(And I'm stuck with me / and I'm still not free?)
 
Wow guys, so I met the president and senior vice president of my company for dinner today, they drove into town just to meet with me. It could not have possibly gone any better, I am absolutely glowing! If it had been a date, I'd have been invited back up to her place and we'd be fucking all night and again in the morning. :cool: They wanted to get to know me better, we went to one of my favorite places in town, an excellent and fun tapas restaurant, and we talked about a lot of stuff and laughed a lot (they're funny guys and so am I). They told me a story about how they were in Vegas with another vice president last weekend to meet a client, and their client gave them gummies, which they thought were CBD, but they were delta-8. So they ate a couple and got high as shit and skipped the seminar because they were too paranoid. 🤣 They were asking me about my band and like my other more immediate supervisors I've had there, were extremely supportive. I told them I really appreciate how the culture of the company is such that everyone respects that I basically have 2 careers and a full life outside of my work at the company. They were like well yeah, of course, we HOPE everyone has a life outside this company, we WANT everyone to be happy and fulfilled, that is better for everyone and the company! I told them that I know that, and appreciate it a lot, because judging from what I hear from so many other people, that attitude in an employer is much more rare than it should be.

Anyway, they wanted to hear all of my ideas for how to steer the technology development in a better direction, so I told them. I have a few ideas I communicated, but I have one main idea strongly feel will be huge. The idea is to streamline our survey design and programming process into a single database-driven GUI front end that project managers could use to point and click build surveys, manually nd by pulling in standardized modules from a library, instead of the clunky MS Word, meticulously formatted questionnaires we have been doing for 20 years, where every individual has their own style of doing, which we then need to use a clunky VB macro on to manually mark up, which exports a bare-bones XML that basically just creates the questions for the survey when imported, with virtually none of the actual programming... after that, the programmer has to do all of the programming manually. With my idea, the survey designer builds it, and it resides in a central database, and instead of just writing in a Word document stuff like "if q1 = yes, skip to q5", "randomize this question, anchor the none on the bottom", "display this grid as a carousel", "randomly assign a cell based on open sub-quotas", etc etc, there will be a drag and drop interface to build that same logic for ALL of the stuff we do again and again, project after project. But the key difference is, from that one central place, various document formats can be exported, rather than the whole thing being based off of a clunky and arbitrary Word document that uses 4 different VB macros to work, and most importantly, a survey XML that has 75% or more of the programming automatically done can be generated, making it so that only the custom stuff needs to even be touched by a programmer. Some surveys woyuld probably come out 100% fully programmed with no need to even touch them. As our workload grows, this will allow the same team of programmers we already have to get 4 or more times as much work done, and will eliminate most of the opportunities for human error. It will improve our workflow by or4ders of magnitude.

For whatever reason, every time I have tried to push this idea to lower people over the years, it gets ignored or opposed, I believe due to certain people not wanting to have to do the work to create the system. But the president/VP are like OMFG YES! Why haven't you already been working on this? Have you ever communicated this to anyone? Why is this the first I am hearing about this?? And I said, well, just been waiting for someone to tell me to start, I've floated it multiple times to no avail. They told me that literally any resources I need, I will have, and in the future, I should just talk to them directly with any ideas I have. I said it would help me to take a course of modern full stack web app development, to fill in some of the gaps I am missing (I haven't been to school since I graduated in 2005 and a LOT has changed since then, I teach myself but taking a course will hep me a ton), they said for sure, find one, we'll pay for it. The Senior VP kept saying how excited I have made him for the future and kept saying how glad he was that we met and talked. The President asked me how I feel about managing people. I told him I am down, but want to stay hands on. He was like oh yeah for sure, I just mean, I can see you basically doing what you've already been doing without us even asking you to for years, and leading a team of programmers. But in a more official capacity.

To be honest it felt like they were trying to welcome me into the senior leadership fold. It very much felt like a meeting between peers, they wanted to pick my mind and they took every opportunity to keep telling me how valuable my input is. Towards the end we were commiserating on a rather frustrating colleague who is very slow and who is extremely resistant to giving me full access to our servers (for some reason, I think he feels threatened). The president was like "yeah, XXX is a utility worker, but you are a transformational force who is absolutely crucial to the future of this company and irreplaceable, and we're very lucky to have you." Gonna stick that in the bank, and think of it whenever I am feeling down about myself. :)

I'm glowing so hard! Pretty sure senior vice president is somewhere in my future (there are a handful of them, each in charge of different areas of the direction of the company). I told them that I love working at the company, and I love everyone I work with, and have no plans to leave, and that all I need is to keep feeling valued, and keep feeling that I am being compensated appropriately, and that I want to see 6 figures before TOO long (I am making $73k now, but since I got that promotion I have wowed the pants off of a number of senior leadership people that I hadn't previously been exposed to in my previous role). And recently, after years of feeling frustrated (due to the corporation that owned us stifling raises, bonuses, and autonomy), I am finally seeing the rewards coming in. :) Glad I stuck with it and had faith. The corporation tried to liquidate us right when our multi-year development efforts were finally about to start paying off, almost 2 years ago. Our CEO was like fuck you, quit the corporation (he was appointed to the company when the corporation bought us), secured private funding in the 2 weeks he had before the company dissolve date, bought it, and since then we've exploded and are by far the most profitable and quickly growing we've ever been. And I have positioned myself to be an indispensable part of that growth.

Life is crazy guys. It's not like I set out to set my life up like this in such a way as to have two really satisfying careers that I can excel at, at the same time, but yet, here I am. I honestly could not ask for a better career/work setup if I found a genie in a bottle and used a wish on it. I'm so lucky. It's good to remember that, and be appreciative.

Man what a satisfying day. Only bad part is that I ate SO FUCKING MUCH food, it was painful and gross after dinner was done and I got home. Felt sick, almost puked for hours, lol.
 
Xorkoth said:
Wow guys, so I met the president and senior vice president of my company for dinner today, they drove into town just to meet with me. It could not have possibly gone any better, I am absolutely glowing! If it had been a date, I'd have been invited back up to her place and we'd be fucking all night and again in the morning. :cool: They wanted to get to know me better, we went to one of my favorite places in town, an excellent and fun tapas restaurant, and we talked about a lot of stuff and laughed a lot (they're funny guys and so am I). They told me a story about how they were in Vegas with another vice president last weekend to meet a client, and their client gave them gummies, which they thought were CBD, but they were delta-8. So they ate a couple and got high as shit and skipped the seminar because they were too paranoid. 🤣 They were asking me about my band and like my other more immediate supervisors I've had there, were extremely supportive. I told them I really appreciate how the culture of the company is such that everyone respects that I basically have 2 careers and a full life outside of my work at the company. They were like well yeah, of course, we HOPE everyone has a life outside this company, we WANT everyone to be happy and fulfilled, that is better for everyone and the company! I told them that I know that, and appreciate it a lot, because judging from what I hear from so many other people, that attitude in an employer is much more rare than it should be.

Anyway, they wanted to hear all of my ideas for how to steer the technology development in a better direction, so I told them. I have a few ideas I communicated, but I have one main idea strongly feel will be huge. The idea is to streamline our survey design and programming process into a single database-driven GUI front end that project managers could use to point and click build surveys, manually nd by pulling in standardized modules from a library, instead of the clunky MS Word, meticulously formatted questionnaires we have been doing for 20 years, where every individual has their own style of doing, which we then need to use a clunky VB macro on to manually mark up, which exports a bare-bones XML that basically just creates the questions for the survey when imported, with virtually none of the actual programming... after that, the programmer has to do all of the programming manually. With my idea, the survey designer builds it, and it resides in a central database, and instead of just writing in a Word document stuff like "if q1 = yes, skip to q5", "randomize this question, anchor the none on the bottom", "display this grid as a carousel", "randomly assign a cell based on open sub-quotas", etc etc, there will be a drag and drop interface to build that same logic for ALL of the stuff we do again and again, project after project. But the key difference is, from that one central place, various document formats can be exported, rather than the whole thing being based off of a clunky and arbitrary Word document that uses 4 different VB macros to work, and most importantly, a survey XML that has 75% or more of the programming automatically done can be generated, making it so that only the custom stuff needs to even be touched by a programmer. Some surveys woyuld probably come out 100% fully programmed with no need to even touch them. As our workload grows, this will allow the same team of programmers we already have to get 4 or more times as much work done, and will eliminate most of the opportunities for human error. It will improve our workflow by or4ders of magnitude.

For whatever reason, every time I have tried to push this idea to lower people over the years, it gets ignored or opposed, I believe due to certain people not wanting to have to do the work to create the system. But the president/VP are like OMFG YES! Why haven't you already been working on this? Have you ever communicated this to anyone? Why is this the first I am hearing about this?? And I said, well, just been waiting for someone to tell me to start, I've floated it multiple times to no avail. They told me that literally any resources I need, I will have, and in the future, I should just talk to them directly with any ideas I have. I said it would help me to take a course of modern full stack web app development, to fill in some of the gaps I am missing (I haven't been to school since I graduated in 2005 and a LOT has changed since then, I teach myself but taking a course will hep me a ton), they said for sure, find one, we'll pay for it. The Senior VP kept saying how excited I have made him for the future and kept saying how glad he was that we met and talked. The President asked me how I feel about managing people. I told him I am down, but want to stay hands on. He was like oh yeah for sure, I just mean, I can see you basically doing what you've already been doing without us even asking you to for years, and leading a team of programmers. But in a more official capacity.

To be honest it felt like they were trying to welcome me into the senior leadership fold. It very much felt like a meeting between peers, they wanted to pick my mind and they took every opportunity to keep telling me how valuable my input is. Towards the end we were commiserating on a rather frustrating colleague who is very slow and who is extremely resistant to giving me full access to our servers (for some reason, I think he feels threatened). The president was like "yeah, XXX is a utility worker, but you are a transformational force who is absolutely crucial to the future of this company and irreplaceable, and we're very lucky to have you." Gonna stick that in the bank, and think of it whenever I am feeling down about myself. :)

I'm glowing so hard! Pretty sure senior vice president is somewhere in my future (there are a handful of them, each in charge of different areas of the direction of the company). I told them that I love working at the company, and I love everyone I work with, and have no plans to leave, and that all I need is to keep feeling valued, and keep feeling that I am being compensated appropriately, and that I want to see 6 figures before TOO long (I am making $73k now, but since I got that promotion I have wowed the pants off of a number of senior leadership people that I hadn't previously been exposed to in my previous role). And recently, after years of feeling frustrated (due to the corporation that owned us stifling raises, bonuses, and autonomy), I am finally seeing the rewards coming in. :) Glad I stuck with it and had faith. The corporation tried to liquidate us right when our multi-year development efforts were finally about to start paying off, almost 2 years ago. Our CEO was like fuck you, quit the corporation (he was appointed to the company when the corporation bought us), secured private funding in the 2 weeks he had before the company dissolve date, bought it, and since then we've exploded and are by far the most profitable and quickly growing we've ever been. And I have positioned myself to be an indispensable part of that growth.

Life is crazy guys. It's not like I set out to set my life up like this in such a way as to have two really satisfying careers that I can excel at, at the same time, but yet, here I am. I honestly could not ask for a better career/work setup if I found a genie in a bottle and used a wish on it. I'm so lucky. It's good to remember that, and be appreciative.

Man what a satisfying day. Only bad part is that I ate SO FUCKING MUCH food, it was painful and gross after dinner was done and I got home. Felt sick, almost puked for hours, lol.
Click to expand...

Still reading the post but -- is one of those two the guy you accidentally emailed while you were on iobgaine? :)

Haha man "transformational force" that's how I try to be at jobs too, always trying to improve every little system I can, just too bad I don't have a degree so it ends up being like.... Optimizing a stupid factory production work job haha


That's all awesome tho broseph I'm happy for you.

Oh and definitely sounds like they WEREN'T one of the guys you emailed on ibogaine now that I read more :)
 
Last edited:
pharmakos said:
Still reading the post but -- is one of those two the guy you accidentally emailed while you were on iobgaine? :)
Click to expand...

Nope, he's not my boss anymore, though we still work closely together. He's my best actual friend at the company though, for sure. But I have found that everyone is just as supportive of the music as he is. :) But not sure if anyone else would have reacted as well to the ibogaine email, lol. He hasn't ever told anyone else about that little adventure of mine.

I will reply to your latest PM shortly, perhaps tonight. Sorry, I'm not ignoring you, just been busy and pretty down/burnst out, until today that is, I feel pretty recharged for the moment. :)
 
ffs man been doing bk-mdma for the last two hours with my mate smoking it on tin foil was so fucking different. Very nice feeling suprised it works lol. Tastes strange as fuck
 
going to dose some 2cb in a canyon tomorrow night, at the peak going to start on a sesh with a gram of K, then I have a nice .1 of dmt, its been a long time since I had any DMT. Going for that peak experience that takes me *into*, unto and outto the stars
 
Xorkoth said:
Wow guys, so I met the president and senior vice president of my company for dinner today, they drove into town just to meet with me. It could not have possibly gone any better, I am absolutely glowing! If it had been a date, I'd have been invited back up to her place and we'd be fucking all night and again in the morning. :cool: They wanted to get to know me better, we went to one of my favorite places in town, an excellent and fun tapas restaurant, and we talked about a lot of stuff and laughed a lot (they're funny guys and so am I). They told me a story about how they were in Vegas with another vice president last weekend to meet a client, and their client gave them gummies, which they thought were CBD, but they were delta-8. So they ate a couple and got high as shit and skipped the seminar because they were too paranoid. 🤣 They were asking me about my band and like my other more immediate supervisors I've had there, were extremely supportive. I told them I really appreciate how the culture of the company is such that everyone respects that I basically have 2 careers and a full life outside of my work at the company. They were like well yeah, of course, we HOPE everyone has a life outside this company, we WANT everyone to be happy and fulfilled, that is better for everyone and the company! I told them that I know that, and appreciate it a lot, because judging from what I hear from so many other people, that attitude in an employer is much more rare than it should be.

Anyway, they wanted to hear all of my ideas for how to steer the technology development in a better direction, so I told them. I have a few ideas I communicated, but I have one main idea strongly feel will be huge. The idea is to streamline our survey design and programming process into a single database-driven GUI front end that project managers could use to point and click build surveys, manually nd by pulling in standardized modules from a library, instead of the clunky MS Word, meticulously formatted questionnaires we have been doing for 20 years, where every individual has their own style of doing, which we then need to use a clunky VB macro on to manually mark up, which exports a bare-bones XML that basically just creates the questions for the survey when imported, with virtually none of the actual programming... after that, the programmer has to do all of the programming manually. With my idea, the survey designer builds it, and it resides in a central database, and instead of just writing in a Word document stuff like "if q1 = yes, skip to q5", "randomize this question, anchor the none on the bottom", "display this grid as a carousel", "randomly assign a cell based on open sub-quotas", etc etc, there will be a drag and drop interface to build that same logic for ALL of the stuff we do again and again, project after project. But the key difference is, from that one central place, various document formats can be exported, rather than the whole thing being based off of a clunky and arbitrary Word document that uses 4 different VB macros to work, and most importantly, a survey XML that has 75% or more of the programming automatically done can be generated, making it so that only the custom stuff needs to even be touched by a programmer. Some surveys woyuld probably come out 100% fully programmed with no need to even touch them. As our workload grows, this will allow the same team of programmers we already have to get 4 or more times as much work done, and will eliminate most of the opportunities for human error. It will improve our workflow by or4ders of magnitude.

For whatever reason, every time I have tried to push this idea to lower people over the years, it gets ignored or opposed, I believe due to certain people not wanting to have to do the work to create the system. But the president/VP are like OMFG YES! Why haven't you already been working on this? Have you ever communicated this to anyone? Why is this the first I am hearing about this?? And I said, well, just been waiting for someone to tell me to start, I've floated it multiple times to no avail. They told me that literally any resources I need, I will have, and in the future, I should just talk to them directly with any ideas I have. I said it would help me to take a course of modern full stack web app development, to fill in some of the gaps I am missing (I haven't been to school since I graduated in 2005 and a LOT has changed since then, I teach myself but taking a course will hep me a ton), they said for sure, find one, we'll pay for it. The Senior VP kept saying how excited I have made him for the future and kept saying how glad he was that we met and talked. The President asked me how I feel about managing people. I told him I am down, but want to stay hands on. He was like oh yeah for sure, I just mean, I can see you basically doing what you've already been doing without us even asking you to for years, and leading a team of programmers. But in a more official capacity.

To be honest it felt like they were trying to welcome me into the senior leadership fold. It very much felt like a meeting between peers, they wanted to pick my mind and they took every opportunity to keep telling me how valuable my input is. Towards the end we were commiserating on a rather frustrating colleague who is very slow and who is extremely resistant to giving me full access to our servers (for some reason, I think he feels threatened). The president was like "yeah, XXX is a utility worker, but you are a transformational force who is absolutely crucial to the future of this company and irreplaceable, and we're very lucky to have you." Gonna stick that in the bank, and think of it whenever I am feeling down about myself. :)

I'm glowing so hard! Pretty sure senior vice president is somewhere in my future (there are a handful of them, each in charge of different areas of the direction of the company). I told them that I love working at the company, and I love everyone I work with, and have no plans to leave, and that all I need is to keep feeling valued, and keep feeling that I am being compensated appropriately, and that I want to see 6 figures before TOO long (I am making $73k now, but since I got that promotion I have wowed the pants off of a number of senior leadership people that I hadn't previously been exposed to in my previous role). And recently, after years of feeling frustrated (due to the corporation that owned us stifling raises, bonuses, and autonomy), I am finally seeing the rewards coming in. :) Glad I stuck with it and had faith. The corporation tried to liquidate us right when our multi-year development efforts were finally about to start paying off, almost 2 years ago. Our CEO was like fuck you, quit the corporation (he was appointed to the company when the corporation bought us), secured private funding in the 2 weeks he had before the company dissolve date, bought it, and since then we've exploded and are by far the most profitable and quickly growing we've ever been. And I have positioned myself to be an indispensable part of that growth.

Life is crazy guys. It's not like I set out to set my life up like this in such a way as to have two really satisfying careers that I can excel at, at the same time, but yet, here I am. I honestly could not ask for a better career/work setup if I found a genie in a bottle and used a wish on it. I'm so lucky. It's good to remember that, and be appreciative.

Man what a satisfying day. Only bad part is that I ate SO FUCKING MUCH food, it was painful and gross after dinner was done and I got home. Felt sick, almost puked for hours, lol.
Click to expand...
Nice. It feels good to have your work and ingenuity respected and appreciated. Personally I just got fired after getting in a slightly heated drunken political debate with some team leads, may have said some rash stuff... been a little too open, and this was triggered because they were spying on me and I got on a particular IRC network and was confronted about my VPN use, anyway, meh... this was a giant corporation and I'm used to startups where I'm a better culture fit.

I miss the workplace I had with a beer tap in the office.

Sounds like you work at a pretty cool startup?

---

I just read that you can vape 2cb? Is this witb both hbr and hcl salts? How much do you need? Anyone tried it?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Fuck yeah guys pretty sure I just passed the drug test, they gave me all my 7 takehomes and they wouldn't have if I failed im sure. They did a mouth swab so bringing this piss around in my pocket was pointless, lol. Did that Norflurazepam about 10 days ago so I was just lucky my body has a fast metabolism. Not gonna do that again tho it's not worth the risk and it sucked being stressed about it all the time. Gonna be staying off psychedelics for a little while and just let my tolerance drop back down. Gonna aim for two weeks and maybe do a couple Disssos trips on them alone during that period to help me deal with the compulsion. Will reward myself with a nice 70mg dose of aMT when the time comes.
 
schizoinfective said:
Nice. It feels good to have your work and ingenuity respected and appreciated. Personally I just got fired after getting in a slightly heated drunken political debate with some team leads, may have said some rash stuff... been a little too open, and this was triggered because they were spying on me and I got on a particular IRC network and was confronted about my VPN use, anyway, meh... this was a giant corporation and I'm used to startups where I'm a better culture fit.

I miss the workplace I had with a beer tap in the office.

Sounds like you work at a pretty cool startup?

---

I just read that you can vape 2cb? Is this witb both hbr and hcl salts? How much do you need? Anyone tried it?
Click to expand...

Nope, not a startup, actually the oldest company in my industry in the country, the very first. :)
 
Cosmic Charlie said:
Fuck yeah guys pretty sure I just passed the drug test, they gave me all my 7 takehomes and they wouldn't have if I failed im sure. They did a mouth swab so bringing this piss around in my pocket was pointless, lol. Did that Norflurazepam about 10 days ago so I was just lucky my body has a fast metabolism. Not gonna do that again tho it's not worth the risk and it sucked being stressed about it all the time. Gonna be staying off psychedelics for a little while and just let my tolerance drop back down. Gonna aim for two weeks and maybe do a couple Disssos trips on them alone during that period to help me deal with the compulsion. Will reward myself with a nice 70mg dose of aMT when the time comes.
Click to expand...
I just traveled across the country with 10k contingent upon no serious adverse reactions... and the accuracy of this fetish urine
 
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