• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ

☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: Firly Swolks Discussing Mitillating Tatters Fithout Wilters

Status
Not open for further replies.
I get minor THC WD, my guess because of my fast metabolism and low BMI I have very little stores of THC in my fat. Essentially I get poor sleep for a week and feel irritable/bored. Not too worried about that (the boredom kills me sometimes though). I've been taking O-DSMT and I expect to be clear within a week because my doses are finally near threshold for me. I got sick during Christmas and on my peak day of illness took a hydro or two, and boom, my fever was reduced (probably from the APAP) and I was almost instantly able to enjoy my vacation a bit more. When I returned I continued with the O-DT under the guise of doing it till my illness was over, but it lead to the whole month being daily use, to the point where I would feel queasy and have other bad symptoms till I took my dose each morning. As I've tapered the past week the WDs have been significantly reduced and I should be able to get out of this hole by Wednesday. This morning I didn't have to take any O-DT just to get out of bed and will probably just take a threshold dose before bed to get some sleep.

And I know Xork, lots of people can do things they enjoy for work and still have fun. I was being over-dramatic; however, the past two years have taught me one thing - no one will ever, ever, pay me a livable wage to do anything I enjoy. The fact of the matter is all the things I enjoy do not translate to working. I'm a huge Star Trek nerd and play STO daily, but there's literally no way I can turn that into a way to make money. I'm big into drugs, but I'm not qualified to work in pharmaceuticals and certainly know nothing of chemistry. I really like sports vehicles but wouldn't know the first thing about being a mechanic. I really like pussy but I doubt my gf would approve of me becoming a gigolo. I'm really outdoorsy and would love to be a park ranger but even before the Trump administration, National Parks were having severe budget cuts. A lot of the places I wanted to go hiking at in Arkansas when I lived there were closed due to inability to fund staff and maintenance fees; now Trump is president? Say goodbye National Parks Administration... I really like animals, have always had cool pets but am unwilling to become a breeder because of the emotional turmoil of selling off the creatures you help to nurture and grow. I really like gardening but don't see much opportunity there unless I somehow own my own landscaping company, not to mention I've already had skin cancer scares so I really shouldn't work in labor. I like computers but can't really go past following youtube vids when it comes to working on them. I love to collect vinyls but I'm the odd man out in that, every vinyl shop I know of goes under, gets bought up by someone else, goes under again, gets bought up... you get the picture.

Essentially I cannot find anything I enjoy that pays much of anything, and as such, I'm realizing that whatever I do end up doing will indeed cause a certain sadness within me. It will be a struggle back and forth my whole life; living expenses or fun? Being able to leave this god forsaken town will be a step in the right direction I feel though, so living expenses>fun for now...
 
So i got my starter rebuilt, installed, overtightened the solenoid bolt nut and broke it. LOL
Now I have to take it back all the way across townin shitty traffic, miss more work, awesome.

A g of ketamine I thought was lost came in today so there is that at least.
 
Took a little too much 3-meo-pcp. I feel like a gummy bear that's been in your pocket all day.
 
I'm sick and I have to write an exam in an hour. Fortunately, it's the last of three tests for this course, and I did well enough on the second one to only need two points on this one to pass. Should be doable. ;)

When I'm home, I will scoop some kratom and lie down though
 
I had a dream where my best friend and I were visiting our hometown, hanging out with old friends. We met up with this friend of ours from when we were kids, she's a girl who I have always been friends with basically ever since I can remember and we were both attracted to each other at various times, I found out once that she had wanted to ask me out but I had already started dating my ex... we probably would have made a good couple. I haven't actually seen her in many years now, she's married with several kids. Anyway, in the dream, she totally came on to me and we started making out, then went to my parents' house and started sneaking around trying to find a place to have sex. Finally found a place, and we started playing around, eventually I went down on her and gave her an orgasm, it was really, really hot, and very detailed and realistic. Then we were about to have sex and I woke up, with my girlfriend and my cat both snuggling me.

Weird thing is, during the dream I was feeling guilty the whole time, because I was still aware I was with my girlfriend, but the weird part is I was also feeling guilty because I was still with my ex in the dream. It seems like in my dreams I'm always still with my ex and feeling guilty because I'm trying to be with my ex and my girlfriend. In this one I was trying to be with all 3. When I woke up, I had a confused moment before feeling relieved that in reality I am only trying to be with my girl.

I wonder if I'm always dreaming I'm still with my ex because in reality we're still technically married... my girl knows that and doesn't care, the only reason I still am is because my ex is relatively non-functional and she just won't deal with it. I bet my subconsciousness is trying to force me to press the issue. Honestly I just ignore it most of the time because every time I try it's really annoying and I prefer not to have to interact with her. But damn, it's really time, I wish I wasn't still married. Marriage can be weird, it's like, we've been fully split up for over 3 years, but according to the government we're still together and to void that there has to be paperwork and legal fees.
 
I don't know about your ex but that cat is definitely a fifth wheel
 
Uh yeah, he's the ultimate third wheel in truth. He's basically obsessed with me, the only thing he ever wants is to be in physical contact with me, preferably with his face pressed against my face. Preferably laying across my chest with paws draped over my shoulders. And food once in a while. When my girl and I are snuggling in bed, we'll have our faces touching and he will invariable come up and stick his face in to press against our faces. I have to close the door when we're having sex because he wants to be there. Staring and laying on my legs or something. One time as we were falling asleep, he came between us and squeezed himself into the space between our chests where we were pressed against each other, he got his legs and lower body wedged in, we were squeezing him fairly tightly. I fell asleep to him purring as loudly as I've ever heard him purr. And in the morning he was still there.

Neediest and most talkative cat in the world. Also the most loving.
 
Cats have glands i think near their ass / lower back and paws that spread smell, if he has contact you he rubs off those smells which in his world means he owns you, in which case by the way I would find it unfair if he doesn't feed you
 
Xork I don't know how you can go along and not push for the formal disengagement from your ex. You have these dreams all the time telling you it's weird but you ignore it lol
 
Well it doesn't really affect my life at all except in theory, I even get to still file my taxes jointly and get a bigger tax return, and give her a little of it in return. My girl doesn't seem to care at all, which surprised me for a while, I think she thinks it's funny, either that or she hides it insanely well and never lets any of it spill out into how she treats me. It's just exceedingly unpleasant dealing with my ex, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to deal with it, she's constantly on the edge of breaking down it seems, whenever I've tried pushing it she shuts down. I don't want to just serve her papers, it seems to mean something to her that I don't and also she still isn't trying to ask for anything at all from me, which I want to keep that way. It is weird though, I wish she'd just be a normal person for a bit and deal with it.

This is actually the first time I've connected that the dreams are probably my subconscious urging me to push it forward. I tend to take a long time to progress in my "dream life", for example it takes years for someone new to appear in my dreams at all. My girlfriend wasn't ever once in my dreams for like a year and a half. I rarely dream about my friends here, even though we've been friends for up to 7 years. Still dream about my childhood friends mostly. Seems like my dreams always take forever to catch up to reality.
 
I guess whether being formally together still means anything to your feelings (or confusion of feelings) probably depends completely on the person or situation? So you'd be the one to judge yourself.

My dad did not formally recognize me until a few years ago which was formally ideal in the sense that it got me a full scholarship rather than partial. My dad has always skirted the laws like that. It never really meant anything that he didn't recognize me as his son formally but it still bothered me enough when all the benefits became irrelevant that I changed it including my last name. More was involved in that decision though. In the end, I felt that way.

Apparently your ex still hasn't fully accepted it all in its entirety and is clinging to something of the past, but I'm not even sure if that necessarily means anything to you being involved or not.

It seems like a lot to ask that your feelings - I'd say dreams reflect more of your feelings and subconsciousness etc - catch up with reality as you are keeping up with it rationally. I am still not over the shitshow I have had to go through with being put in impossible and terrible positions regarding really essential things like living, working and loving. Rationally and actually I have moved on to this stable and good new phase, but my faith in things is dragging behind though it is healing.
Similarly it probably doesn't necessarily matter that you are devoted to your girlfriend, on some level feelings and trust still take time to develop like they have taken years to develop for your ex; enthousiasm, infatuation and new found love can only do so much to speed up the development.

Just keep an eye on that gut and what it tells you.

By the way I went to a company today to see what it's like to being an engineering designer.. made a potential friend with the other guy who came with although he is much younger. He lives right down the street though. Also invited a girl over for dinner who works at the art hub of my city (at reception but still). She has a boyfriend and it's meant friendly. Still, I'm glad I am meeting some new people. Getting more confident.

Also my automated indoor growhouse that I am building is mostly doing great, construction done, soldering mostly done with a nice control panel but I will have to redo a circuit which is kind of a setback but I have plenty of time tomorrow. Am getting HID lighting to accomodate cacti and such, will try to get something like that one-sided mirror foil you might know from 'police interrogation rooms' so that the mirror on the inside keeps 90% of intense light in but you can still see the plants inside from the outside without your retinas getting scorched.
 
Last edited:
ugh im at work. i got 3 more hours to go.
im looking forward to going to pittsburgh again in like a month. we went to DC earlier this month for this
q3sZvKdh.jpg

we lost but it was fun. same deal in a month except we got better tickets, we actually got a pretty good deal and we are in the 2nd row from the front of the upper level this time on the double attack side.
that is all
 
I never believed I could be an actual scientist but now I really feel I am. It is an indescribable feeling.
 
Can be pretty miserable too. Most of the time is kinda awesome, I guess. Undescribable sounds about right.
 
Last edited:
I'm taking a pre-employment competency exam that shouldn't be too hard today, but I'm quite nervous about; it stands between me and everything I want in life. Here's to hoping I kick it's ass and that they wait two more weeks before asking for my piss. I would cheat the drug test but I'm literally so broke I can't even afford fake piss so this is really daunting.
 
Good luck! On both counts... pre-employment drug testing is so dumb.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top