nearjat
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2008
- Messages
- 3,209
What really scared me about adderall, was how its the only drug I've ever taken that literally changed my whole personality while I was on it and made me into a different person with totally different values. A staunchly reductionist, productivity-oriented jackass basically.
I'm actually way more productive now without the adderall anyways. When I think about things, I can ponder and meander around the concepts-- not power through them like a bulldozer. On adderall, all the subtlety of life is missed. You have no time for it, you're too spun-- you hyper-focus on the surface level. I would sit down and truck through problems for 8 hours without a break, and at the end of the day I would have a whole bunch of scribblings on paper to show for it but no deep comprehension of the material.
I've learned that nothing will ever make academic work easy, its just hard. And you have to REALLY suck it up and work hard, and it just feels unpleasant a lot of the time. But there's no short-cut that takes you to the same destination as just plain hard work with a clear, sober mind.
Excellently put.
I hate my day right now but I'm trying to keep a smile on... I got surprised with having to work. So I didn't arrange a ride with my parents. So I have to take the city bus, which wouldn't be so bad- but it's freezing and raining out and the nearest bus stop is like a mile away.