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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: swirling into homeostasis

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I imagine it would be a serious waste of any psychedelic. Only the takeoff is any fun anyways. After that it's a few cramped ours of your life you need to endure -- read a book or pop an Ambein I say, the less I remember of the tedium the better.
 
Propyl Power said:
i don't know willow, i think your comment about needing a bible is the most disturbing thing you've ever shared with us, & speaks volumes about your situation. i'd personally feel much safer with some wrathful buddhist deities, or better yet, Kali, offering protection. No-one's gonna fuck with Kali...

Yes i think magick & the spiritworlds are very real, but no more real than i am, which is to say not real at all! ;)
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Hey, I'm really glad you answered :)

About the bible- I see it as a definitevely dark apocryphal text. I would say that the stories within are mere symbols; something like linguistic static; there is a truth contained within, but it appears to be related solely to death, ending, the pure darkness beyond the void (hmm, lovecraftian indeed). The bible is like a protective sigil (for me) even though the content is not much more then drivel. It only offers 'protection' agaionst the peculiar devil's of christianity though, which might well be a load of frapjaffery. Its strange to get drawn to something that I've otherwise ignored. But its not the words or even the bookness of the bible; its the symbol of complete ackonowledgement of the nightmare world, and a vain attempt to stop it up.

Anyways, it certainly does sound like you've ended up in a Kenneth Grant fever dream, or an AOS illustration, & i'm sorry i can't offer any particularly useful insight... but please do know that you are respected, appreciated, & Loved...
have no fear...
'you cannot become anything but more beautiful'
<3
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Your insight was insightful ;) Thank you

"Zos the Goatherd, saviour of myself and of those things I have not yet regretted"...eeeh.

Matsuo Munefusa. said:
hey willow

stay strong friend <3

Do what you have to with your medications...dont drive yourself insane with a too fast taper.

I have also recently been haunted.

Long story short:

I slept one night (many nights actually) in the living room since I have been snoring for the past few weeks and I give NotDeja a break from close proximity snoring. So I'm sleeping in living room, she's in bed. We both fall asleep. Midnight.

I am sleeping on my side, naked without a blanket (since I run hot). I feel something tubular and firm poke the outside of my butthole a few times (3-4). It does not penetrate. I sit bolt upright near the last pokes (they woke me up). I whisper what the fuck. Notdeja is sleeping 20 yards away with ear plugs in.

I get up and piss and go lay back down. I wonder what poked me (a ghost?). About two minutes later notDeja starts screaming. I know now what is happening we are being attacked. I full tilt run toward the bed and her screams. I jump on top of the loft bed and ask her whats wrong while simultaneously feeling around and pulling her away from the edge (a long drop). She's short of breath and I watch her claw at her neck. She is crying. I hug her and try to soothe her. She tells me something was wrapped around her neck choking her.

Creepy as fuck.
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That is really weird.

I've been drawn to 'self-induced hauntings' for a while, but I've rejected guidance as of late. However, today an old, old friend (he literally looks like Gandalf, except he's real) has agreed to meet me and help me banish or diminish some of the negative energies which are swirling improbably around us. This guy knows his stuff- I feel safe with him, as safe as you can when staring into the stars and seeing them teem with bizarre life.


Yeah, when I was younger I loved watching horror movies and gore and I liked to think about dark and evil stuff and I was drawn to seeing sorrow and drama and so forth on TV... but after I had my first mushroom trip I just felt like... I didn't want to let that kind of stuff in. I grew up in suburbia, USA and my entire life up until then was one big period of increasing densensitization, and then psychedelics helped me to become sensitive again (which I much prefer), and I just felt like it was a bad idea to seek that kind of stuff out. Like there's enough darkness in the world that I can't help but be exposed to, so why would I add more purposely? I'd rather absorb stuff that's positive and happy. :) I know you've not had the same opinion since I've known you. So it could be that in a weakened emotional/mental state, it's emerging from your subconsciousness in a very strong way. Particularly since I know you've been into learning about/possibly practicing the occult.
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Hmm, its not so much a tangible, horrible darkness, as such; more the mystery of shadows etc. Moreso, I think its a result of meddling with forces that (right now) are beyond me. I have no interest in evil or pain, but I don't see either as being so opposed to joy and laughter (ie. a continuum)...


I have to say, it also sounds a little like psychosis, though obviously enough that you're making sense and appear coherent, but I don't know if you have a history of that, other than when using drugs that can cause it. I don't know man, I've never experienced anything like what you describe, except maybe when I was a little kid and I saw something really scary in a movie or something and I would be terrified every night by my imagination and convinced it was really happening.
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I've defintely pondered whether its 'psychosis' but it seems way too subtle; all this is sort of at the edge of thought, making it more unsettling.

That said, long term benzo use having woken up my own epileptic states could be the answer, and yet, I haven't had any seizures for a while. Though- the alteration in consciouness is similar to that which accompanies seizures. Chicken and egg though...

<3 <3 <3So the short version of this story is, some spirits are cockblockers. :D
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=D

Thanks for your time, my friends....I believe I need to move away from the dark- black darkness of charnel grounds. White magic or somesuch....<3
 
dudes.
i thought i lost my fucking molly.
couldnt find it
found it tho,.
shits goin down tonight.
 
Willow, I'm going to be honest and say that, IMHO, putting too much faith into the occult is psychologically unhealthy. In doing so, you're opening a door in your mind to an alternate reality that contradicts the most consistently observed laws of nature, which constitute the understanding of reality that actually helps us make useful predictions. When you do that, I think that your life starts to revolve around solving problems that aren't "real" in the truest sense. A wild goose chase of sorts.

That's not to deny that some spiritual practices based in the occult can be useful -- but only when approached from a perspective grounded in consensus reality.

I've always tended to reject notions of the supernatural, and, (as a result IMO) I've never had an encounter with the supernatural, or even what could be perceived as such an encounter.


Perhaps you are, at some subconscious level, dissatisfied with reality, and hence unwilling to accept it -- and the occult is essentially an ego defense mechanism?


Matsuo Munefusa. said:
I slept one night (many nights actually) in the living room since I have been snoring for the past few weeks and I give NotDeja a break from close proximity snoring. So I'm sleeping in living room, she's in bed. We both fall asleep. Midnight.

I am sleeping on my side, naked without a blanket (since I run hot). I feel something tubular and firm poke the outside of my butthole a few times (3-4). It does not penetrate. I sit bolt upright near the last pokes (they woke me up). I whisper what the fuck. Notdeja is sleeping 20 yards away with ear plugs in.

I get up and piss and go lay back down. I wonder what poked me (a ghost?). About two minutes later notDeja starts screaming. I know now what is happening we are being attacked. I full tilt run toward the bed and her screams. I jump on top of the loft bed and ask her whats wrong while simultaneously feeling around and pulling her away from the edge (a long drop). She's short of breath and I watch her claw at her neck. She is crying. I hug her and try to soothe her. She tells me something was wrapped around her neck choking her.

Creepy as fuck.
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Xorkoth said:
That's fucked up man. 8o I've had hauntings for sure, but none as frightening as that. The most off-putting one I've actually had personally happened within the last year. My wife and I were in bed at night, and snuggling started to turn into other things. Then somewhere in the middle of things, all of a sudden, from RIGHT next to the bed (like 3 feet away from us), there came a loud, even and very deliberate knocking, emanating from the wooden dresser that's there: *knock knock knock knock*. We both froze and looked at each other, and I got up and looked out the windows, down at the deck, and all around the perimeter of the house to make sure no one was there, because at first we assumed it was someone knocking on the door or something (even though it definitely distinctly was coming from the dresser). It sounded 100% exactly like someone knocking on it with their knuckle, as I discovered when doing exactly that on the dresser. So after a minute of looking at each other with hesitation, I said "if someone's here, can you knock again?" And within a second or two, the exact same knocking, 4 knocks from someone's knuckles, came from the dresser, 3 feet away from us. So obviously that creeped us out, and was also not cool because we got the distinct impression that it was someone watching us... rather violating, especially for her. I told whatever it was to get some manners and get out of there, and we never heard the knocking again. But the mood was definitely broken.

So the short version of this story is, some spirits are cockblockers. :D
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I've got to admit, though, these are some amazing stories.
 
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TheAppleCore said:
Willow, I'm going to be honest and say that, IMHO, putting too much faith into the occult is psychologically unhealthy. In doing so, you're opening a door in your mind to an alternate reality that contradicts the most consistently observed laws of nature, which constitute the understanding of reality that actually helps us make useful predictions. When you do that, I think that your life starts to revolve around solving problems that aren't "real" in the truest sense. A wild goose chase of sorts.

That's not to deny that some spiritual practices based in the occult can be useful -- but only when approached from a perspective grounded in consensus reality.
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Hmm, perhaps; but- in my own personal experience, a lot of occult practise effects consensus reality in a way which simply doesn't fit with the 'laws' of physics etc.

I've often found that people wish to believe that such practise is a way of stifling reality or an "ego defense mchanism", perhaps because reality is a lot stranger then we desire. But you are correct; I won't accept reality, and never will, because its a complete fabrication that we all take part in; I simply choose to take less part then some, and more then others. Its not narrow minded to disregard a lot of occult jibber jabber, but it is short sighted to deny that existence has a lot more facets then any science could explain. I feel that embracing the arcane/esoteric is actually a process of losing your own self, something we on PD put a lot of stock in. It can be laughable to propose that donning a robe and chanting in enochian will enact any change to the world, but my personal practise involves very little performance art and more concentrated, meditative focus on strengthening my connection with the spirit world.

Put it this way; if you meditate via breath, and alter consciousness, you are performing a type of magick. If you drum or chant and alter consciousness, you are performing magick. If you take LSD and alter consciousness, you are performing magick.

As it stands, I spent several hours with my friend, who is very deeply knowledgable about matters of occult/the spirit. He suggested that I am indeed being watched; not in a paranoiac or suspicious way, but watched by what he would call the elohim, or what I would call the ancient archetype of more advanced spirits then our own. We sat out in the rain and he constructed a circle and goetic triangle, all makeshift and non-existent, and asked his mind and the spirits for an answer. The answer came in a form open to much interpretation, but it confirmed that I (or we) have opened a certain gateway or portal with another dimension. Its up to me to leave it open or simply shut it. As of now, I will leave it open, as I don't believe that the spirits mean me or my loved one harm; its my inability to accept what transgress logic which is causing fear.

But, TAC, you are probably correct in saying that your lack of belief has prevented or discouraged the others from manifesting. Belief is the key to the puzzle; without it, all spiritual manifestation is either delusion, illusion or simply not-so. I appreciate your response, but my own reality is very much inspired by belief in what-isn't-not. ;)

We also smoked 5-MeO-DMT; it itself is a true path INTO light, and phosphenes are real. 8o

Love is the law, brothers and sisters....<3
 
Also, TAC- check out this psytrance artist, Kali- his album Survival is a perfect blend of dark psy and morning style full on. Really powerful stuff <3 :)
 
willow11 said:
...it is short sighted to deny that existence has a lot more facets then any science could explain.
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Amen. :)

Routinely denying the existence of anything beyond the reach of science could be considered equally self-delusional to an excessive faith in the occult.

Thanks a lot for the Kali recommendation as well -- my laptop isn't hooked up to an external sound system, but I was listening to some previews on Psyshop and I liked what I heard.
 
one more week and she's in my arms :)

smoaksumpawt? yehprobs.

I always get so flustered when paranormal stories are brought up, because I want to attribute it to psychological phenomenon but some of that shit is just too damn strange :P Especially when multiple peoples perceptions are involved. Though I do find it interesting that the "shared experience" thing seems to happen a lot with lovers. Maybe the bond between allows psychological strangeness like this to cross the barriers of individual perception?
 
willow, I am curious (and a little concerned) that you do not feel that the spirits mean you any harm when clearly they were causing you a lot of distress earlier. I think that our first instincts about such things are often correct. I feel like it can be very dangerous to sort of facilitate these things and figure you can control them and get them licked, coming from such a place as you did last night. It seems like a spiritually hazardous back-and-forth and something that is not connecting. What you said the other night actually has me concerned for you a bit tbh, and I think that your instinct that you need to take a step back might be a good one to take. I am still intrigued by the fact that you were drawn to the Bible. I am curious wonder how familiar with Scripture you are? Elohim in Hebrew is one of the titles of GOD, but I imagine you probably knew that?
 
SomeKindaLove said:
willow, I am curious (and a little concerned) that you do not feel that the spirits mean you any harm when clearly they were causing you a lot of distress earlier.
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Personally, if I ever felt that I had made contact with a spirit / entity that caused me distress, as odd as it sounds, I think I would embrace its intentions. I would trust it not to ultimately wish me harm.
 
^Now that's a head scratcher for me that I just have to ask you to elaborate on...
 
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