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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: swirling into homeostasis

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no problem man.
i only put the whole "call it a pussy bitch and beat it while yer homies pin it down"
as i knew - or at least hoped - someone in willow's situation would see it as ridiculousness :P

your tales of spirits do creep me out a bit...
ive had some straaaaange experiences in my time. not sure if i will share them. maybe one day when im not feeling so lazy.
nowhere near as scary as your pokey-bum ghost.


sounds like maybe it was the spirit of Kill Bill star David Carradine?
kill-bill-actor-david-carradine-found-dead-$7035359$300.jpg


he was into some kinky shit. (danger-wanking, aka wanking with a noose round yer neck.
i wouldnt doubt he was into ass play either... the dirty old bastard...)
 
I just got tortured by her over the phone XD She was begging lol...

I'm totally falling for her man, sexy blond, taught a class on the philosophy of existence/consciousness while still in high school, amazing artist, sunny persona, extremely intelligent and wise. I'm looking for reasons she isn't just completely perfect for me, there are none.

You are a lucky man sir. I would love a girl who I could chat shit about the meaning of life and all my beliefs with without them getting bored after 5 minutes haha.

Grats man, hope it all goes well :)

^ why do you not think you are real? This is a sign of a psychological depersonalization. It comes from traumatic situations (maybe psychedelic use in your case).

You are real. Spirits are real also.

Why do you think neither are real?

I wouldn't say that. I understand depersonalization and derealization are very common but as someone who has temporarily experienced both I can say that the belief you're not real doesn't mean you're going through that. I believe that, for lack of better wording, as it's very hard to convey exactly what I mean without using these words: Life is a dream. By scientific laws and the laws of perception we are all very real, but by the concrete nature of reality we are just figments of the great shared mind's imagination. We only exist as much as we want to exist. Nothing is right or wrong, everything IS and everything ISN'T, simultaneously. [/brainfuck]

Beautiful snow here right now, thinking about tripping out in the snow, never done that before, quite excited.
 
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hey Sega, its cool man I have had the EXACT same impulses actually about the spirits. When my gf told me about them my first impulse was that I would fuck their shit up if they messed with us. It took me awhile more learning to realize this only manifested more negativity in our living space.

Its a very strange world out there. Lots of mysteries. How I like it :D
 
in the house i grew up in there was a poltergeist i nicknamed "the noise".
was never dangerous or caused any harm. just enjoyed making noise and banging cupboard doors and
dropping cooking pots on the floor.

negativity only breeds more negativity.
 
so like a buddhist koan your statement was not meant to be taken concretely?

You do believe then you physically exist in this reality. You mean to infuse paradox and contradiction into your statement/view of reality in order to mirror and manifest the feeling of awe and incredulity you have experienced in your psychedelic experiences?

Sort of :) more accurately : express paradox to manifest awe of life :)

paradox is the engine of being
 
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This will sound really odd, but I feel like I'm being haunted these days; tonight after work, I got home, and lay down- I didn't sleep, but time sort of skipped forward until it was 10pm. I went outside to have a cigarette, and the nightsky was flashing like a strobe, sort of flipping between light blue to dark dark blue really fast. I also keep hearing a really strange crying/screaming noise in my backyard, but I can't confirm that anyone else is hearing it. Not that its in my mind or a hallucination, but maybe something in my soul...?? I don't know. I feel off kilter, like I'm dreaming......??

That's freaky, man. I could maybe accept that this is due to bupe withdrawal, but it seems pretty strange for an opiate... I've certainly never had anything like that happen. How long has this been going on? Did it coincide with stopping bupe or is has it been going on longer?

willow11 said:
I feel troubled, and its not a manifestation of a mental illness or drug abuse. I always thought the dark side of reality was something to embrace, but its starting to break at times when I really don't want it too. Feel scared; not anxious, but scared like a distant figure is watching me from the shadows....

Yeah, when I was younger I loved watching horror movies and gore and I liked to think about dark and evil stuff and I was drawn to seeing sorrow and drama and so forth on TV... but after I had my first mushroom trip I just felt like... I didn't want to let that kind of stuff in. I grew up in suburbia, USA and my entire life up until then was one big period of increasing densensitization, and then psychedelics helped me to become sensitive again (which I much prefer), and I just felt like it was a bad idea to seek that kind of stuff out. Like there's enough darkness in the world that I can't help but be exposed to, so why would I add more purposely? I'd rather absorb stuff that's positive and happy. :) I know you've not had the same opinion since I've known you. So it could be that in a weakened emotional/mental state, it's emerging from your subconsciousness in a very strong way. Particularly since I know you've been into learning about/possibly practicing the occult.

I have to say, it also sounds a little like psychosis, though obviously enough that you're making sense and appear coherent, but I don't know if you have a history of that, other than when using drugs that can cause it. I don't know man, I've never experienced anything like what you describe, except maybe when I was a little kid and I saw something really scary in a movie or something and I would be terrified every night by my imagination and convinced it was really happening.

<3 <3 <3

I have also recently been haunted.

Long story short:

I slept one night (many nights actually) in the living room since I have been snoring for the past few weeks and I give NotDeja a break from close proximity snoring. So I'm sleeping in living room, she's in bed. We both fall asleep. Midnight.

I am sleeping on my side, naked without a blanket (since I run hot). I feel something tubular and firm poke the outside of my butthole a few times (3-4). It does not penetrate. I sit bolt upright near the last pokes (they woke me up). I whisper what the fuck. Notdeja is sleeping 20 yards away with ear plugs in.

I get up and piss and go lay back down. I wonder what poked me (a ghost?). About two minutes later notDeja starts screaming. I know now what is happening we are being attacked. I full tilt run toward the bed and her screams. I jump on top of the loft bed and ask her whats wrong while simultaneously feeling around and pulling her away from the edge (a long drop). She's short of breath and I watch her claw at her neck. She is crying. I hug her and try to soothe her. She tells me something was wrapped around her neck choking her.

Creepy as fuck.

That's fucked up man. 8o I've had hauntings for sure, but none as frightening as that. The most off-putting one I've actually had personally happened within the last year. My wife and I were in bed at night, and snuggling started to turn into other things. Then somewhere in the middle of things, all of a sudden, from RIGHT next to the bed (like 3 feet away from us), there came a loud, even and very deliberate knocking, emanating from the wooden dresser that's there: *knock knock knock knock*. We both froze and looked at each other, and I got up and looked out the windows, down at the deck, and all around the perimeter of the house to make sure no one was there, because at first we assumed it was someone knocking on the door or something (even though it definitely distinctly was coming from the dresser). It sounded 100% exactly like someone knocking on it with their knuckle, as I discovered when doing exactly that on the dresser. So after a minute of looking at each other with hesitation, I said "if someone's here, can you knock again?" And within a second or two, the exact same knocking, 4 knocks from someone's knuckles, came from the dresser, 3 feet away from us. So obviously that creeped us out, and was also not cool because we got the distinct impression that it was someone watching us... rather violating, especially for her. I told whatever it was to get some manners and get out of there, and we never heard the knocking again. But the mood was definitely broken.

So the short version of this story is, some spirits are cockblockers. :D
 
So what's up PD? I'm good... I feel a little drained today after staying up late writing and stuff a lot recently, but I feel pretty good anyway. I decided to take a little dose of DOM today, as a nice boost and energizer with a bit of psychedelic sparkle. :) Only like 25 minutes ago though.

It got fucking COLD here last night and I came downstairs to find that my house got down to 58 degrees last night. Looks like it's time to break out the third heater. I REALLY wish we had some central heating in here... the only way to heat it is with plug-in electric heater fans (we have 4 of them). But when all 4 are going the electric bill for a month is like $250, whereas with 2 it's like $160, and with none (like 8 to 9 months of the year), it's like $70-80. I've gotten used to the house being anywhere from 60-68 degrees during the winter months... not a problem once like 2 weeks of adjustment from the beautiful weather the erst of the year passes. But 58 makes my hands cold. :p

At least we have the heat fans now... the first winter here, we just had a single heat fan and these 2 oil-filled electric radiators that hardly heated the house at all. I could see my breath some days, all day long... 45 degrees inside wasn't uncommon. So mid-60s is fine with me. :D

That's the disadvantage to living in a cabin-style house... it's pretty rustic. There actually used to be a wood-burning stove in the center of the house that heated it up really well, but right before we bought the house, the woman we bought it from had it removed (at great expense to herself), thinking that no one would want something so rustic. Well, duh, we wanted rustic - that's why we bought a cabin in the mountains! So when it gets cold, it gets cold. But it's more than worth it because all Spring, Summer and Fall (until the end like now), all we do is open the windows and doors and live in the most beautiful clean air you can find... we don't even have air conditioning or any sort of cooling system because the elevation makes it so it never feels hot, but it always feels beautifully warm, 70-78 degrees depending on the time of time of the year and the time of the day, with a nice cool freshness to the air even when it's on the hotter side. :)
 
Do you guys believe in magic or the spirit world?

Absolutely. I've had too many experiences not to, and I've barely had anything compared to my wife. She's actually descended from the druids and the women in her family have a long history of being really sensitive to the spiritual world, as well as having very powerful dreams involving contact with family members (experienced by both) and experiencing of future events (usually something innocuous like dreaming of being in a certain situation with certain people and having a certain conversation. She'll wake up and tell me about it in detail right away, and then like 2 weeks later that exact situation will happen with the same words and everything, which can be verified because she told me beforehand).

She moved into an old house that had been literally a crackhouse for decades before they moved in. She was basically terrorized by the spirits there all growing up until going to college. There was a closet in her room and whenever she went in there she would have an overwhelming impression of a sick, angry man screaming rage at her, towering over her and making her feel trapped. She'd hear voices and footsteps in her room every night. Like for example she'd hear someone coming up the stairs and call to see if it was her mom, but it wasn't, and she'd just hide under the covers while the footsteps walked across the room and right to the edge of her bed and just stop there, and after a while walk away. One time she woke up all of a sudden to a noise like a freight train IN the room, and the entire room was shaking, and therev was this pulsating ball of light that was sending sheets of like solid white light coursing through the room in pulses. It went on for 15 or 20 seconds straight and as you can imagine she was totally overwhelmed and terrified. I'd think maybe it was train-related except there are no train tracks anywhere nearby or even within hearing distance. Her little sister in the next room came running out after it was done because she had experienced it too, but their mom (who is a super light sleeper) was downstairs and didn't experience anything. Wherever she goes she'll sometimes just get impressions of spirits being there and she'll start to know stuff about them. One time in high school her family was on vacation and they stopped at some random hotel for the night. And all night, every time she closed her eyes, there was some horrible, terrible presence that seemed to be lusting to kill them all, like some terrible twisted monster of a man was there. She can hardly even think about that one even now. Later on she found out that there had been a series of fucked up killings at that hotel, like 70 years before, in that room.

We'll even be watching some sort of ghost show on TV and she'll start saying her impressions and then the psychic they have on the show will say the same stuff... a few times it's been so spot-on with what was eventually revealed about the history of what happened there (by talking to the people it happened to or whatever) that I had a hard time believing she hadn't already seen the episode, but I knew she hadn't because it was airing for the first time when we were watching it.

These are just some random examples... I could give many more. But it's because of my own experiences (several very definitive ones) and hers that I definitely believe in "the spirit world" or whatever you want to call it. I've witnessed too much not to.
 
Regarding the spirit world I believe that there is definitely "something" there that is either (a) psychological manifestations of something of a psychological origin or (b) something truly supernatural; and whatever framework you use to describe your belief in it it does not really change that whatever "it" is, it is ... a very real thing, possibly.

People who wind up being "demonized" and messed with by supernatural entities tend to be people who have messed around in the occult. So this is why I think this may not be such good advice:
Matsuo Munufesa said:
Also spellcraft can aid you. Follow your intuitions...it does not have to be a traditional spell. Smudge some sage or incense around your sleeping area, your body, your chilling space...If you have special art or pieces of jewelry wear those or keep them around as power symbols.
M Scott Peck talks about this in his very intersting book People of the Lie: The hope for healing Human Evil (I believe is the 2nd part of the title). And it is stuff that is totally beyond comprehension and yet shows up repeatedly and in similar forms over and over again. And when it gets to that point you don't need a psychiatrist, you need a priest. You need someone who si prepared to do battle on the spiritual plane. (In that light Willow I think it is very interesting that you say you feel the need to reach out for a Bible,and that Christianity is the only paradigm that seems like it can ward off death &evil, because this is very much the same perspective as a lot of people with a more Christian orientation have towards the subject. This is an interesting page about Biblical perspectives on demonization & exorcism)

On the other hand though I think you need to get back on your meds. Quitting them in a time of distress is never a good look for anyone. Never.
 
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Do you guys believe in magic or the spirit world?

I don't attach belief where it isn't necessary--that other world is as palpable as this one is to me, and experiencing it as being real in everyday life only renders such a belief superfluous.

Willow, you're obviously feeling cramped by all these wraiths, have you tried banishing them? If you feel like you're in over your head with this, please try to find someone who can help you. The worst thing here would be to let it get any worse. Remember that as difficult as it may seem, the way out is through.

Also I have to agree that cutting out the buprenorphine so suddenly probably isn't helping matters. You do not have to cave in just because you've skipped a couple of days. If you start taking it again, you run much less of a risk of landing yourself in an even worse spot.
 
Magic certainly can become real as, those practicing it or involved with a culture practicing magic can see real life results from the use of magic. However, since I personally don't believe in magic, I won't be able to see the results of the use of magic, as I wont create a response to the the magic being applied. Those who believe in magic, especially looking a larger culture, can actually see real world results coming from it. Its because from their perspective it is real, and they respond in the physical environment to the magic.

One of my good friends is taking a class on magic and modernity. He is bit more articulate on this than I am, I'll have to have a more in depth talk with him about this.

I can be to cold (mainly associative with the unknown) and logical to believe in mysticism.
 
Don't you love it when your original departure time is 1:11pm and its almost 4 and you still haven't boarded the plane?

As it happens this is my favorite part of traveling.






8)



Now i wish i had taken my friends advice to eat shrooms on the plane. Woulda given me something to do while waiting in the terminal. Of course if we did end up boarding while i was still tripping hard i would freak out. A plane has to be the WORST setting for a trip.

amirighT?
 
^LOL, shrooms would be the last thing I would want to do while travelling. A couple milligrams of xanax and one or two overpriced bloody marys in an airport bar would be ideal. Pot brownies would prolly be epic win as well.
 
^ I always take some edible cannabis along for journeys like that. Simply can't be beat as a travelling companion. <3
 
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