Did you get anything useful out of the MDPV stimulation, besides the spiritual episode? Was it meant to be functional or for euphoric purposes or?
Well, I very much do not recommend it; just puttin that out there.
The general essence for me anyway; it was something I used alone; not a social drug like amp. It's just a clean calm stimulant, that believe it or not, seemed to regularly put me in a meditative state.
The stimulation was definitely not functional; it didn't motivate me to work on things, I couldn't study well on it; I couldn't follow a straight train of though, I would drift around in my mind with paper and pencil in front of me.
Oh, worst part, even when I was calm and meditative; if I crossed a certain dosage point, by even a tiny bit, even if it was just a 'normal' buzz dose; I would get really unnerving congestive pain in the left side of my chest. No pins/needles or tingling right arm; but the angina was kind of a buzzkill. Unlike many things; it's better to underdose than cross into that angina state, because even if it's stable, you're high is toast.
And my favorite effect of all: aphrodisiac to the max. After the calm, happy state wore off, a significant body energy emerged and was fun to put to good use.
I don't think I'll be using MDPV again though. I've always wanted to try yohimbe, I'll try it soon, sounds like good stuff.
Pros: calm, easy going, meditative stimulation, awesome aphrodisiac. Short-ish duration whareas IR amphetamine is 12 hours before sleep time; MDPV seemed to cleare in 5-6 hours; nice for evenings.
Cons: come-down can be rough; didn't seem bad for me though. It's makes me sketchy outside your home or safety zone; calm and happy inside, hypervigilant and edgy outside. I couldn't imagine it as a social drug. Notorious reputation for addiction potential and production of psychotic states. Pretty much everything else in my last 5 posts.
For now, why don't you take it easy? I imagine this takes its toll in several ways, give yourself a break, why don't you?
Good call. Ya it's taken a toll. The thoughts of what I experienced on that plane still enter my mind, and I think I should find some sort of guide to find meaning in it to put it to rest. I think I was shown something for a reason.
Actually, since then I've strongly been questioning my education/career path. I really feel I don't belong here. Two years and I only have a few acquibtances (just people I know because we've had to work on something together or somesuch), have no friends here.
I'm still going to finish my degree, my parents would have my head on a platter if I didn't. Basically I can't handle the shithole of academia, the city, and the vapid, emptyness of so many people here. I have next to nothing in common with people here.
This summer I'm going to try to get a job as a mechanic in a small engines/motorcycle shop, finish next year, and if I still feel i works; get a permanent job working on bikes, and maybe have my own shop someday specializes in R&D of high performance modifications, and restoration of vintage relics.
Now that motivates me. Not only that; but I can live and set up shop in the coutry, with space. Not couped up, surrounded by pretentious, trendy metro-types who wear a pound of hair gel, $300 of clothes on a normal day (swear they must have wardrobes worth more than all my vehicles).
Gah, get me out of here. I need a garage, I need to something to fix, make faster, or build from scratch.
End of this week I am starting a mirtazapine script - already got the stuff - and I am probably going to be away from here for a while.
I tried it too; it made me feel REALLY weird, not just the initial H1 effects. It gave me a very strange nor-epi type buzz in my head. I had stop because of the H1 effects though. I had midterms/assignments and I wasn't funtional in the least.
Make sure you have no deadlines in the next week or two or work that requires heavy thought.
Although escitalopram did a neat thing for my stutter; not a complete cure, some instances of stuttering, but a good 90% reduction. Anyways it makes me hazy, I can't think clearly, and I'm sure it contributed to my incident.
I sleep through my alarms, miss exams, can't keep track of time. It goes on. This semester has been a disaster compared to my previous semesters; and the only difference is escitalopram.
So this month I'm weaning off the already relatively low dose. I'm going to research for somthing else, but one absolute requirement is that it does not impair my cognitive functioning. One of the things I hate most about escitalopram is that my driving skill went from non-pro Schumacher to having a hard time making a smooth curve.. and I used to tear up lumpy dirt that came into vision very fast and the decision of how to handle it (stop for safety and lose time, swerve around, or just plow through/jump it) had to be made in 0.3-0.4 seconds.
Sorry, I just hate what it's done to my perception and ability to perform my favorite sport (go fast).
as if the psilocin trip last week was not enough, I am considering taking aMT or DiPT tomorrow or the day after. Pretty interested in DiPT but I am concerned that it will freak me out like MiPT did. Well, not that badly really, but I don't have any use for that - I am just so curious about the auditive effects.
But maybe I should just opt for something else entirely or nothing at all...
Reading about those trypts with only N-subs gave me the heebie jeebies. As far as auditory goes it seems to be the domain of DiPT... it's subs. 4-AcO-DiPT was obscnenely auditory as well as visual. Same seems to be with other DiPT subs,
I don't think you need the ultra strong 'root drug'; I'd recommend a decent trip with one of it's subs. 20mg 4-AcO-DiPT had me hearing the carrier waves louder thana freight train and all the colours that went with it. It's light in that there's a positive push to it, but the auditory hallucinations are way stronger than from other trypts.
I don't think it compares with MDPV psychosis though; you're better off going for the sure thing.... NOT
I'm going to need a break from BL myself, gotta get my head settled out so I can stop talking about it; even this post has me nerves energizing.