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yee fractal eyes :D

Willow I kind of know exactly how big of a thing this seems to be AND IS in regards to your life being positive.. <3 good luck dude

wow I smoked way too much weed that is the worst structured sentence ever I think lol I dunno... :)
 
^Great post. :)



By that logic, people over 6'4" and those with an IQ>132 (2 standard deviations from the mean) have a "disorder." And redheads (<2% ) too! ;)



The author argues that the "irrationality" of excessive happiness can have a negative impact on the individual.

"Happy people have also been shown to exhibit various biases of judgement that prevent them from acquiring a realistic understanding of their physical and social environment. Thus, there is consistent evidence that happy people overestimate their control over environmental events (often to the point of perceiving completely random events as subject to their will), give unrealistically positive evaluations of their own achievements, believe that others share their unrealistic opinions about themselves, and show a general lack of evenhandedness when comparing themselves to others."

But then he goes on to argue that value judgments have no place in the classification of psychiatric disorders. It's an interesting argument, but I think fails in the same way that the categorical classification most psychiatric diagnoses fails: it lack validity as discrete entity...I'll explain below. Also, I'd say that value judgments are critical in establishing who we treat. To clarify, I am not at all anti-psychiatry. In fact, I'll be entering the field in the near future.



I agree. The word has clear negative connotations. There's no reason to go applying it haphazardly to as many people as possible. Some other thoughts on definitions...

The problem with the term "disorder" is that, like "disease," it has no commonly accepted, unambiguous definition.

The “disease realism” model has predominated in psychiatry, which states that a disease is “an objectively demonstrable departure from adaptive biological functioning.” Therefore, clinical signs and symptoms do not constitute disease. It is not until the causal mechanisms are clearly identified that we are unequivocally speaking of a disease. Much to the chagrin of psychiatrists, no consistent underlying pathology has been identified for the majority of psychiatric disorders, and that leaves big questions regarding how we define mental illness. To clarify, I'm not implying that mental illness does not exist. I'm simply saying that the definition is not as clear as many believe it to be. Delineating borders between pathology and normality are ultimately somewhat arbitrary.

It’s likely that many psychiatric disorders merge into others with no natural boundary in between...the proposed category of pathological happiness being one example. If we are giving an accurate description of nature, there should be "zones of rarity.” Attempts to demonstrate natural boundaries between major depressive disorder and normality have consistently failed. Instead, studies have found that these zones of rarity may not exist where we expected them. For example, it was demonstrated that the genetic basis of anxiety and depression are very similar, if not indistinguishable. What exists is a spectrum. The same goes for schizophrenia, psychotic affective illness, and a spectrum of other disorders, including szhizotypal/paranoid personality disorder. Again, I should clarify that this muddiness does not mean that the profession should withhold effective treatments from patients with significantly impaired functioning..."effective" being the key word there, since psychiatry has a track record of premature and overenthusiastic endorsements of new treatments, accompanied by a minimization of potential harms. If we don’t acknowledge the lack of real boundaries, we could end up pathologizing nearly all of human behavior.



fuckin A well I am double fucked disordered before I ever started doing drugs. Nice to know, explains a TON! hahaha. Sometimes I swear bluelight is the most educational thing around. Gotta snort anoother gram of piracetam, peace
 
Shit willow thats a really brave decision man!I believe in you dude stick with it.

Thanks man, I really want this to work out, addiction just kills my abilisty to just sit in the present and relax. Always have to worry about the next dose. Its impossible to exist happily when you know that debilitating dope-sickness is always 12 hours away. Atm, I have 24/7 access to lots of opiates (heroin, morphine, subutec/suboxone, metadone, tramadol), so I always avoid getting sick; but the shadow addiciton casts overr my life is really daunting. Theres no future.

The non attachment thing I was really into on an intellectual level for a while, and seems nice- but non-attachment in a world full of attachment sounds so...unfulfilling? I know the point is for it to be not part of the "world" and just be peaceful but I can't help but think of it as a cop out.

I know what you mean, but I think non-attachment means that you are able to view all events objectively, even things as personal and intimate as your own private thoughts. I think a fundamental aspect of non-attachement is acceptance of change; there's no logic in becoming reliant on any one in the world, because everything is changing all the time. The fact that we are in the destruction of space/time makes dependance on any one thing futile; whatever that thing is, by the time you know it, its already changed...

One of ideas behind chaos magick is spinning the mind into chaos by consciously (and rapidly) changing the core beliefs of yourself. Instead of having absoilution, its advised that we change even our most personal morals or ethics in a single moment. Chaos magick appeals to me because it is not dogmatic and not concrete; the entire 'ritual' aspect essentially uses any arcane belief system, even systems that contradict each other...

I don't know man, where would I even start? As of now I'm very attached, while simultaneously not caring.

I would suggest meditation as one of the primary steps towards abolishing attachment. The whol nature of meditation is one of calm, bliss, inner silence and literal detachment from the outer world. Its not about being uncaring; its about not caring too much.

Also, try and put whjatever situation your in in a relative light; our life on earth is a microsecond of the life of earth; earth is a small rock in a small solar system in a small galaxy in a really fucken massive universe. Comparing your own suffering against a scale as huge as that can surely help to negate that sufferring.

Peace <3
 
Thinking about going camping this weekend, but is a 40% chance of rain on saturday with t-storms. Saturday is when I would be spending the whole day on L and am trying to decide if the rain is a bad thing or not. hmm
 
Nah, trust me, you do want to live...I'm not one to talk, but have you tried non-attachment? You know, the whole Buddhist ideal? Its hard to do, but makes so much sense...Do you really want changes in external events to mean that you, internally, want to die? Try and dissociate from relying on people, or being relied upon...The same principle applies to objects and matter. Free yourself.

That said; I'm about to check into detox (and am serious this time). I need to get clean, I seem unable to exist without opiates. This time, I want to be completely sober, no half assed methadone or suboxone "maintanence therapy", no dependance or physical addictions...The place I'm going is (unfortuantelhy) christian, but it doesn't push any ideals; I just want a safe place where I can take two weeks to vomit, shit, panic, sweat and cry without the pressure of social obligations and whatnot. It appears I will most likely have to quit my job, but that is how it is. Its more important to get clean then work for money just above minimum wage...

About a week until I am accepted into detox; wish me luck...:) <3

Good luck willow, im glad to hear your doing something to help yourself. I know you will do great. I agree also that being able to puke and shit in the comfort of a detox where nurses come check on u every hour can be very encouraging.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KutXyPEEbQs
 
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good luck willow! i hope we all get to hear you on the other side and you will be in a better place! :)


that being said, was thinking of investing in a cooling device for my stash. any ideas? a fridge is kinda big and bulky (and there is one in the kitchen already but is shared). the ideal device would be small, efficient, silent, and stashable... maybe something in the lines of those cooling boxes some hotel rooms have?
 
Good luck willow! Sounds like you're doing the right thing.

I cannot find get a hold of weed and it is KILLING me. I ordered some JWH-250 but it'll never arrive...
 
The trip sucked, I underestimated my tolerance and ended up having to take some obscene amount just to "trip." And toward the end it started getting dark because I realized I currently have no car, no friends, no way to get weed, no job, and the bills keep stacking and insurance is dragging its ass paying me for my totaled car. Total disaster. But my fault, it's still a magical drug I just need a good week or two off from it. And I need to figure out my life somehow.
 
Yeah, doing psychedelics often results leads to temporary loss of magic.
I currently have no car, no friends, no way to get weed, no job, and the bills keep stacking and insurance is dragging its ass paying me for my totaled car.
Judging on this, I'd say that your trip was useful.
Hopefully you'll work out your problems! <3
 
I'm on the for rilla tilla ma nilla, I'm a booorn killah! :D

I've always really liked this one as well.


The trip sucked, I underestimated my tolerance and ended up having to take some obscene amount just to "trip." And toward the end it started getting dark because I realized I currently have no car, no friends, no way to get weed, no job, and the bills keep stacking and insurance is dragging its ass paying me for my totaled car. Total disaster. But my fault, it's still a magical drug I just need a good week or two off from it. And I need to figure out my life somehow.

Shit dude that really must suck, I hope you 'get back on your feet' in the near future man.

I know this probably goes without saying but just try really hard to stay positive dude, shit will turn around eventually, I'm certain of it. <3



In other news I ordered 2oz of bali kratom on sunday and it came in today, dosed 10g about 45 mins ago and I think I like it more than the more expensive maeng da I had ordered before this, the maeng da was pretty stimulating and this bali is very nice and sedating.

I'm cycling two days kratom then two days clonazepam, I'm already down to .5mg a day, although sometimes I need a full mg, so lets hope I can fucking end this benzo bullshit once and for all! Wish me luck bros :)
 
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Been working on a paper all day long... have to hand it in tomorrow...

But now it's time for a break and then sleep!

Evolution be praised for blessing us with receptorsites fitting the cannabinoids of weed! *rolls up an amnesia haze joint*

i hope you guys out there struggeling find the strange to push through the hard times and reach the top of the mountain! never give up the hope :)

life is beautiful! love it! the pain is necessary to create the love, never forget!
 
I'm on the for rilla tilla ma nilla, I'm a booorn killah! :D

I've always really liked this one as well.




Shit dude that really must suck, I hope you 'get back on your feet' in the near future man.

I know this probably goes without saying but just try really hard to stay positive dude, shit will turn around eventually, I'm certain of it. <3



In other news I ordered 2oz of bali kratom on sunday and it came in today, dosed 10g about 45 mins ago and I think I like it more than the more expensive maeng da I had ordered before this, the maeng da was pretty stimulating and this bali is very nice and sedating.

I'm cycling two days kratom then two days clonazepam, I'm already down to .5mg a day, although sometimes I need a full mg, so lets hope I can fucking end this benzo bullshit once and for all! Wish me luck bros :)

That's what's up man. That song gives me chills sometimes when I listen to it.
 
One of ideas behind chaos magick is spinning the mind into chaos by consciously (and rapidly) changing the core beliefs of yourself. Instead of having absoilution, its advised that we change even our most personal morals or ethics in a single moment.

I tend to do this with great frequency, but I don't really view it as a good thing. Of course the underlying motivations that cause us to do this, and thus the ramifications of the action itself on our persons, may be quite different.
 
Evolution be praised for blessing us with receptorsites fitting the cannabinoids of weed! *rolls up an amnesia haze joint*

i hope you guys out there struggeling find the strange to push through the hard times and reach the top of the mountain! never give up the hope :)

life is beautiful! love it! the pain is necessary to create the love, never forget!

Seconded to all this! Good vibes to all.

And gah damn I love some green :)
 
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