☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Loquacious Psychedelic Love Lazers
- Thread starter Roger&Me
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nearjat
Bluelighter
Thanks Soli and Raw.
The tough part about snapping out of this, is that I don't really have anything to snap back to. Most of the times I've been not depressed in my life was when I was all excited about "seeing more through my third eye" and shit and I no longer want anything to do with that. I have to completely rebuild a "happy side".
The tough part about snapping out of this, is that I don't really have anything to snap back to. Most of the times I've been not depressed in my life was when I was all excited about "seeing more through my third eye" and shit and I no longer want anything to do with that. I have to completely rebuild a "happy side".
MescalitoBandito
Bluelighter
Believe it or not it can happen. Seems impossible but remember nothing worth doing is easy. Be strong nearjat...
nearjat
Bluelighter
Thanks man means a lot to hear some truth, because although I know my hopelessness is delusional, I can't for the time being fully deny it. For now ive got my writing to keep me fulfilled at least.
nearjat - hold on mate!
a lot of the times that i ve been depressed and things looked bleak turned out to be positive experiences that i leart from. sometimes it is hard to see the light from the bottom of the hole, but that is also a good place to start growing, thinking about where you want to go and what you have to do to get there.
it might also be a reaction to being freshly single. it might hurt, but im sure youll be happy again in the future
a lot of the times that i ve been depressed and things looked bleak turned out to be positive experiences that i leart from. sometimes it is hard to see the light from the bottom of the hole, but that is also a good place to start growing, thinking about where you want to go and what you have to do to get there.
it might also be a reaction to being freshly single. it might hurt, but im sure youll be happy again in the future
nearjat
Bluelighter
I'm not done with that girl for sure. I need to do some growing and if it still seems like a good relationship once I'm a little more sane well be back together. I need to know if the love should be let to die or not, because right now I don't feel a thing but that doesn't mean much when ur depressed
MescalitoBandito
Bluelighter
Don't worry about her, man, you gotta find things that make YOU happy.
On a slightly related note-to trip or not? I've got nothing to do, it's nice out, and its been 3 days since my last trip so tolerance should be greatly reduced, right?
On a slightly related note-to trip or not? I've got nothing to do, it's nice out, and its been 3 days since my last trip so tolerance should be greatly reduced, right?
nearjat
Bluelighter
Yeah man that's what I mean. If in the future I don't see it as something positive it'll just have to stop.
superelephant
Bluelighter
Roger&Me
Bluelighter
lol I never thought I would say this, but Pabst Blue Ribbon is actually decent beer. Beats the shit out of any of the big 3 beers (bud, miller, coors) and it was only $6.50 for a sixer of tall boys. Not too shabby.
nearjat
Bluelighter
PBR is pretty good as well. One of my fave beers is either Grain Belt Premium or Grain Belt Nordeast 
MN every day
MN every day
pharmakos
Bluelighter
the degree to which the world around me seems to change when i trip continues to astound me. are these substances really magical or what? 2c-e seems to be a ticket to fullfillment of subconcious desires.
nearjat
Bluelighter
WOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Hottentot booty from kanna use?
Apparently, from my momentary g00gle backgrounder this substance is renowned amongst the Hottentot group.
It's unlikely, but if this RC is the source of their legendary booties then you might be in store for some unexpected benefits.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/837734/woman_with_the_most_amazing_figure_ever/
Please update us and let us know if your nether regions become subject to sudden expansion after researching the kanna?
Apparently, from my momentary g00gle backgrounder this substance is renowned amongst the Hottentot group.
It's unlikely, but if this RC is the source of their legendary booties then you might be in store for some unexpected benefits.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/837734/woman_with_the_most_amazing_figure_ever/
Please update us and let us know if your nether regions become subject to sudden expansion after researching the kanna?
^I'm sorry I don't know if it's just me or the mushrooms, but that post is like one of the top weirdest posts I've ever seen, I truly do not understand it.
Anybody else here?
Oh yeah Nearjat that photo is fucking seriously awesome dude, liek for real, fucking perfect photo to look at on mushrooms.
Yo nearjat you should totally make the eyes go deeper in that picture, like just follow the trend of the eyes having that like telescopic shit goin' on a bit deeper for fucking sickness effects yo
lol
One note about mushrooms.
The fucking amazing mindblowing experience I had two days ago, on 4.5 grams of top fucking notch(if that even 'means' anything) cubensis, and 4 grams tonight, there have been no "revelations", or "insights" as in a thought I have never even conceived of before, suddenly 'becoming known'. It's all just been like a very strong focusing on certain thoughts about stuff that I've thought of before.
It's just been a VERY clear and almost 'pushed' a little bit, if you will, reinforcement of what I currently believe about life and what-not. Along with some seriously amazing 'special fx' of course.
Does anyone remember an old thread or post or something where someone tries to describe this crazy 'color'? If I remember correctly he or someone else describes it as like, actually I can't remember what it said so I'll just say my description of it; it's every color in one and you can see that but at the same time is has a like, pinkish brown with hints of neon green like as if it were a fabric certain threads in the fabric would be neon green, just a few, but in a very interesting way.
Blah
Wizack Twizack pwns psytrance, if any of you are into psytrance fucking download his album if you haven't heard of it; 'Space No More' is the name of it.
Heres the opening track
Heres the song I'm at.
Fucking love psytrace lol, I don't know why but just the way it's structured and how the really good psy producers put so much thought and work into a track it's fucking crazy.
Anybody else here?
Oh yeah Nearjat that photo is fucking seriously awesome dude, liek for real, fucking perfect photo to look at on mushrooms.
Yo nearjat you should totally make the eyes go deeper in that picture, like just follow the trend of the eyes having that like telescopic shit goin' on a bit deeper for fucking sickness effects yo
lol
One note about mushrooms.
The fucking amazing mindblowing experience I had two days ago, on 4.5 grams of top fucking notch(if that even 'means' anything) cubensis, and 4 grams tonight, there have been no "revelations", or "insights" as in a thought I have never even conceived of before, suddenly 'becoming known'. It's all just been like a very strong focusing on certain thoughts about stuff that I've thought of before.
It's just been a VERY clear and almost 'pushed' a little bit, if you will, reinforcement of what I currently believe about life and what-not. Along with some seriously amazing 'special fx' of course.
Does anyone remember an old thread or post or something where someone tries to describe this crazy 'color'? If I remember correctly he or someone else describes it as like, actually I can't remember what it said so I'll just say my description of it; it's every color in one and you can see that but at the same time is has a like, pinkish brown with hints of neon green like as if it were a fabric certain threads in the fabric would be neon green, just a few, but in a very interesting way.
Blah
Wizack Twizack pwns psytrance, if any of you are into psytrance fucking download his album if you haven't heard of it; 'Space No More' is the name of it.
Heres the opening track
Heres the song I'm at.
Fucking love psytrace lol, I don't know why but just the way it's structured and how the really good psy producers put so much thought and work into a track it's fucking crazy.
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swilow
Bluelight Crew
Nah, trust me, you do want to live...I'm not one to talk, but have you tried non-attachment? You know, the whole Buddhist ideal? Its hard to do, but makes so much sense...Do you really want changes in external events to mean that you, internally, want to die? Try and dissociate from relying on people, or being relied upon...The same principle applies to objects and matter. Free yourself.
That said; I'm about to check into detox (and am serious this time). I need to get clean, I seem unable to exist without opiates. This time, I want to be completely sober, no half assed methadone or suboxone "maintanence therapy", no dependance or physical addictions...The place I'm going is (unfortuantelhy) christian, but it doesn't push any ideals; I just want a safe place where I can take two weeks to vomit, shit, panic, sweat and cry without the pressure of social obligations and whatnot. It appears I will most likely have to quit my job, but that is how it is. Its more important to get clean then work for money just above minimum wage...
About a week until I am accepted into detox; wish me luck...
nearjat
Bluelighter
Haha thats a good idea man! fuck I hope I left the layers on the eyes in the PSD
Shit willow thats a really brave decision man!I believe in you dude stick with it.
And I didn't mean I want to die..that just seems stupid thinking about the idea even. Just I no longer want to continue life with this frame of mind, I need to be rebuilt. I am built on faulty programming right now. And I used to think psychedelics were a good way to do that, you know, destroying yourself mentally just to rebuild anew. But I don't think that was a good choice. For me, I know others disagree. The non attachment thing I was really into on an intellectual level for a while, and seems nice- but non-attachment in a world full of attachment sounds so...unfulfilling? I know the point is for it to be not part of the "world" and just be peaceful but I can't help but think of it as a cop out. I guess not being attatched doesn't keep me from loving a girl, or enjoying a delicious meal or creating poetry though..
I don't know man, where would I even start? As of now I'm very attached, while simultaneously not caring.
I should also clarify, that the break up is like 1% of the reason I'm in such a shitty space mentally. This has been somewhere I revisit regularly since was about 12. The only times where I'm not, for more than a few days, is during my younger summers and during self destructive relationships (some of you witnessed) and self destructive drug use. And the recognition of this cycle is only barely motivation to break it, just makes me feel doomed.
Shit willow thats a really brave decision man!I believe in you dude stick with it.
And I didn't mean I want to die..that just seems stupid thinking about the idea even. Just I no longer want to continue life with this frame of mind, I need to be rebuilt. I am built on faulty programming right now. And I used to think psychedelics were a good way to do that, you know, destroying yourself mentally just to rebuild anew. But I don't think that was a good choice. For me, I know others disagree. The non attachment thing I was really into on an intellectual level for a while, and seems nice- but non-attachment in a world full of attachment sounds so...unfulfilling? I know the point is for it to be not part of the "world" and just be peaceful but I can't help but think of it as a cop out. I guess not being attatched doesn't keep me from loving a girl, or enjoying a delicious meal or creating poetry though..
I don't know man, where would I even start? As of now I'm very attached, while simultaneously not caring.
I should also clarify, that the break up is like 1% of the reason I'm in such a shitty space mentally. This has been somewhere I revisit regularly since was about 12. The only times where I'm not, for more than a few days, is during my younger summers and during self destructive relationships (some of you witnessed) and self destructive drug use. And the recognition of this cycle is only barely motivation to break it, just makes me feel doomed.
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readthenewsohboy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2010
- Messages
- 137
Nah, trust me, you do want to live...I'm not one to talk, but have you tried non-attachment? You know, the whole Buddhist ideal? Its hard to do, but makes so much sense...Do you really want changes in external events to mean that you, internally, want to die? Try and dissociate from relying on people, or being relied upon...The same principle applies to objects and matter. Free yourself.
That said; I'm about to check into detox (and am serious this time). I need to get clean, I seem unable to exist without opiates. This time, I want to be completely sober, no half assed methadone or suboxone "maintanence therapy", no dependance or physical addictions...The place I'm going is (unfortuantelhy) christian, but it doesn't push any ideals; I just want a safe place where I can take two weeks to vomit, shit, panic, sweat and cry without the pressure of social obligations and whatnot. It appears I will most likely have to quit my job, but that is how it is. Its more important to get clean then work for money just above minimum wage...
About a week until I am accepted into detox; wish me luck...
Luck is wished! You sound lucid and committed, let us know how it goes.
nearjat
Bluelighter
- Status