Yeah actually I find that the higher-level jobs (more white-collar) often don't drug test, whereas the low-level jobs ALWAYS do (unless it's a local business or something where they don't want to). For my job as a computer programmer, for example, I didn't get drug tested and there's not even a policy in place to do a drug test under any circumstances.
Good luck 240sx, drink a lot of water. Maybe you can get one of those "pass a drug test" drinks, I've heard some of them work. They often sell them in head shops but do some research. Drink a LOT of water before the test, dilute your urine as much as possible. it's ideal if you're peeing every 20 minutes because you drank so much water, your urine will be pretty clear and will have the lowest concentration of drug metabolites.
If you had time you could try one of the devices... assuming they aren't going to watch you closely during it. I got "The urinator" before I got my job, because I didn't know if they'd drug test and at the time stopping weed for a couple of weeks was out of the question to me. it's a prosthetic penis that looks very realistic that you wear in a belt around your waist, with freeze-dried clean urine that you reconstitute and heat with a heating pad. You just pinch it and it comes out and looks like you're really peeing.
yeah I live in Austria and I don't know anybody who got drug tested for a job. it's probably a thing for police officers, maybe securities who hold guns, and the likes. if you work a regular job, you are very unlikely to get tested. maybe it happens, but if so, very rarely... certainly not for a job at a supermarket (lol at walmart testing their employees. fucked up)
i have a buddy that passed a weekly probation drug test while smoking a quarter a week, using this method i came up with:
the best way to pass a drug test is to dilute your urine by drinking a lot of water. this will cause the THC metabolites in your urine to be present at such a low concentration that they will not trigger a positive reading on the testing device. however, drug testers are aware of this trick, and have ways to check for dilution. a "diluted" result is either an immediate fail, or a re-test.
the first check for dilution is a merely visual test -- if the urine is too clear/not yellow enough, then it gets flagged for chemical testing. there is an easy way to get past this step, though -- B vitamins will color your urine bright yellow no matter how much water you've drank. you can drink two gallons of water, take a mega B complex pill or drink an energy drink, and your piss will still be yellow. often times, this is enough to pass a drug test, and you won't even have to worry about the next step.
however, if your sample DOES get flagged for further testing, the lab will test your urine for the presence of a substance called "creatinine." this is different but similar to the "creatine" that people take as a workout supplement. your body naturally produces its own creatinine, and there is a well established normal range of concentration of creatinine in your urine. if you drink too much water, the relative levels of creatinine in your urine goes down, and your sample will be flagged as diliuted. HOWEVER, your creatinine levels in your urine spike by an order of magnitude or two in the few hours after orgasming. so, well, yeah, you know what to do.
SO
1. drink tons of water (like 1-2 gallons)
2. take a B vitamin
3. rub one out
and you should produce a diluted sample that will still make it through the lab unsuspected.
other tips:
- don't work out or do anything that will cause your body to burn fat. THC metabolites are stored in your fat, so working out before your test will cause the concentration to go up.
- don't give them your first piss of the day. your first pee of the day is always danker, since junk from your system has all night to settle into your bladder.
- supposedly the first burst from your pee stream is more concentrated. IDK if this is true, but its probably worth peeing a bit in the toilet before peeing into the cup.
^Damn, out of fear I went for a vigorous run earlier to try and simply burn off all my THC in my fat. I mean, I'm 130lbs and 6'1", so my amount of body fat is probably almost non-existent. My metabolism is uber fast and I process food very quickly...
I'll try the b-vitamin, water, whack-off combo and hope for the best. I contemplated using someone else's urine, but it doesn't feel right, they test the urine temp and this place is an actual diagnostic center they're sending me to... so chances are those creepy ass technicians are gonna stare at my dong while I pee anyways...
My friend who is in ROTC at his university has passed within two weeks of quitting pot, and he's a much bigger guy, more fat, and all he does is work out a lot he says. Not sure how credible that is, but... I'll just go with the water dilution I think.
Thanks for the tips pharmakos, I hadn't heard they look at your color and other chemicals to determine if your fooling them.
Oh... does anyone know if MXE will trigger a false positive for PCP (I've heard it does)? I foolishly took some about three nights ago before I had the interviews scheduled. I'm hoping it'll be out of my system as well, because if they think I've been doing PCP, well... I'll be fucked... although I have also read that a number of things will throw a positive for PCP, including DXM and other OTC stuff.
When your test? Just don't work out anymore, I'd say though if you had, say, a few days, to work out and exercise until when it gets closer. But since you said in the next 24 hours...
The testing center opens at 10am and I have to get it to the employer by noon, so... I'm gonna head there around 10:30 and hope for the best. Probably wake up early to get water in me and jack off hahah.
Great tips pharmakos. False positives don't matter. They only look for 5 or six drugs usually. Sometimes 10 if they are nazis but mostly the traditional stuff. Mxe isn't even illegal by the analog act being in the schedule its in. If you pop hot for one, then they send it to a lab to verify usually using GCMS. If its not PCP you will pass. Don't give em the last stream either.
Jeez man 130 lbs and 6 1? You must be pretty skinny. Unfortunately, that doesn't really matter much. Skinny people can take just as long as fatties when it comes to pot but usually you get clean faster. I've known people with good metabolism to still take a while. I can get clean pretty fast though. Usually two weeks. Some people can take over a month depending on how much they smoke. I knew a guy that took 2 months to get clean. Most employers just use the dipstick test and don't even check to see if its dilute. Usually they save that for the criminals that are going to try and beat a test. You should dilute and be fine. You need to be peeing like every five minutes though.
If you're really worried you can get the belt thing. I've had to take probably hundreds of drug tests in my life and those things still sketch me out. Not really recommended for amateurs unless you have nerves of steel, but they do work. They call them golden shower fetish simulator or something to work around being sued by the government like the whizzinator folks.
^Damn, out of fear I went for a vigorous run earlier to try and simply burn off all my THC in my fat. I mean, I'm 130lbs and 6'1", so my amount of body fat is probably almost non-existent. My metabolism is uber fast and I process food very quickly...
^Good to hear. The second job interview went well too, but it was for a simple seasonal position of 1-3 shifts a week max... so I'm really hoping tomorrow's drug test for the prior job interview goes well so I can at least get a job with 20-30 hours a week. Need that dough!
If my work tasks can be fucked up any more than they already have been thanks to completely incompetent individuals outside my control, I'd be amazed. I'm pretty sure this woman goes out of her way to neglect doing the things required of her position that immediately dictate whether I can do the primary requirement of my position. Apparently when I ask her to initiate the return process on 21 PCs in my building as well as order their replacements, it takes: 10 calendar days to advise me my request has been actioned; a further 8 calendar days for her to actually action it (3 days after I sent a followup email); another 2 days to respond to my followup email; and then.......20 days later......she emails me advising she was unable to initiate the returns on ALL the requested PCs before going on leave....
This has left me with 8 calendar days to work out which PCs I've already swapped out from those that actually have had their return process kicked off, and which ones I still have to do before the courier company comes and attempts to pick them up.
Besides the outrageous incompetence of this woman and her inexplicable failure to manage her time (which is ironic, given she's an Executive Assistant), I can't read her last email any other way besides: "so I started the incredibly simple and straight forward task of telling the lease system these PCs are up to be returned, but I only got halfway through the list I realised I had been here for 7 hours and 21 minutes today, and as of tomorrow I'm on leave, so I stopped working immediately, without completing my required tasks."
Thankfully aside from the small administrative mess I've gotta sort out, this leave me personally in a more manageable position as I'll have a number of spare PCs for the next 6 months....but ultimately, this woman's laziness has cost my employer roughly $56/month per PC, for 6 months. For 11 PCs, that's a decent amount of money to almost literally throw away for no gain.
Had a shitty day as usual
Watching intervention and i can relate to what the chick addict being "featured" is going through so much.
The family is sick as fuck but its all her fault and shes the only one who needs help, they wont take responsibility for their part, shes just "bad" amd always has been because her family said she was bad long before drugs.
And shes "bad" but her parents/grandma can treat her like shit, treat her as less than, and totally violate her rights/mistreat her, and she "deserves it", and they have the right to fuck with her life.
The cops are taking her side on this even because they took her kid without her permission or knowledge.
So refreshing.
.Thats how shit really is. The family is worse than her because they dont see their part at all.
^If my family didn't acknowledge their part I'da been kicked out on to the streets a long time ago. Neither of my parents were worthy of job and they know it, and that I am at best of times putting suicide on indefinite hiatus rather than disconsidering it.
So, drinking today, I had some cheapass chardonnay from 7-11, and I must say, if I had a million dollars, I'd be every last penny of it that grapes were not the only ingredients of that shit, the taste, even diluted 50% with water, was chemical and artificial. Now I'm drinking a viura from the Rioja province of Spain, and dammit it is delicious.
^If my family didn't acknowledge their part I'da been kicked out on to the streets a long time ago. Neither of my parents were worthy of job and they know it,
I'm semi-estranged from my parents, I bear them no ill will per se but we don't really connect in a deep or emotional way, we talk now every few months or so, visit maybe once a year, and it's usually pleasant, the conversation is usually excellent as they are both intellectually very brilliant people in their own very different ways, but as parents, I dunno, they were sort of content to leave me to my own devices I guess, and of course at the time I thought that was pretty cool, but it didn't really take me to a great place in my late teens/early 20s. I don't blame them though because their generation, they were raised by Dr. Benjamin Spock which turned into "if it feels good, do it" and all that, and, probably a great deal due to their Boomer peers, raising a child in an increasingly toxic culture which cannot possibly be an easy thing to do. I can't even imagine what it's like now in today's culture, which is orders of magnitude more toxic and has the amplifying effect of the Internet. No wonder the current "millenial" MySpace generation are so fucked up, raised by Gen-X, coming into awareness around 9/11, and from there into the fucked up society we live in today? It's a societal problem, really, I think, that makes parenting such a challenge, and reflects it in our individual lives and relationships with people. Yes, a lot of our parents are toxic people in various ways, personality issues, addiction issues, mental health issues, whatever, but, ouroborically, it reflects back on our culture I suppose. And let's remember that the whole modern conception of "childhood" is a pretty new one. One that I think Western society hasn't currently settled down with yet -- up until somewhere in the 19th century, children were "little adults," now, on top of the mixed signals of permisiveness and "helicoptering" we are pushing "childhood" into the 20s, which I think is another pretty good way to ensure problematic relationships with parents to one extreme or another, either enmeshment or estrangement.
and that I am at best of times putting suicide on indefinite hiatus rather than disconsidering it.
I feel you there. Suicide is not permissible for me on religious grounds, but on practical grounds it definitely occurs to me from time to time. On practical grounds given how fucked up a world we live in and how fucked up a lot of people's circumstances are, removing oneself from it probably has to appeal to a lot of people. But like they say, permanent solution, temporary problem.
On intake with my psychiatrist, he asks about it, my response was, "I think about it all the time, but I have no intent or plan because I'm too much of a stubborn bastard, don't have the balls, and besides it's against my religion."
He accepted that pretty well.
So, drinking today, I had some cheapass chardonnay from 7-11, and I must say, if I had a million dollars, I'd be every last penny of it that grapes were not the only ingredients of that shit, the taste, even diluted 50% with water, was chemical and artificial. Now I'm drinking a viura from the Rioja province of Spain, and dammit it is delicious.
I'm not really a white wine guy, more into red, but Spanish wines are some of my favorites, especially Riojas.
A good affordable one is Lopez de Harro, this is pretty much my go-to table red. 2010 is a steal, 2008 is excellent for a few more bucks, haven't tried more recent vintages.
Another decently priced is Vega Crianza:
For a little bit more there are many excellent Rioja reservas.
All of the above IME comparing favourably in quality vs price to Italian wines.
Also into South American wines, Uruguay in particular. Monte de Luz has an excellent and again very affordable Syrah:
So, to top off my anxiety about the drug test I took today...
I just received a phone call from my dermatologist... Last week I had two moles removed for testing. One came back as benign, the other... as precancerous. I have to go in next week to have the rest of the skin around it cut out and sewed shut to prevent it from becoming full blown cancer. Needless to say, I feel very shocked and anxious right now... chances are I'm gonna be denied employment because as a drug user I'm a second class citizen, and now to top it off I'm barely skirting around skin cancer...
Now I have to wonder if white people traditionally hated colored people because they were jealous that they couldn't spend time outside without the sun trying to kill them... Right about now, I'm pretty jealous. I love spending my time backpacking and taking part in water sports, but now there is a very real chance I won't be able to spend much time outside. My mother had skin cancer at 27, and now has to wear sunscreen daily if she leaves the house... I don't want to end up being forced to hide indoors my whole life because I might die if I don't...
Wow man, that's intense, I'm sorry. Makes me want to go to the doctor. I don't do that very often. But you could still spend time outside, right? if you wear good sunscreen? It's shitty but worth it to be able to be outside.
^I would suggest you do if you have any dark or questionable moles. I wasn't actually planning on going any time soon, but since my mother has skin cancer cells removed about once a year now, sometimes more, my girlfriend forced me to make an appointment to get my moles looked at... turns out she might have saved me from cancer via her nagging at least hahah.
And yeah, I can still go outside, permitting I cake on the screen... it's just, I've hated sunscreen my whole life, which is probably why I'm having precancerous moles now before I've even turned 23... It's just so gross. I almost always forgo the sunscreen unless I'm outside backpacking for days and know I won't be getting clean either way. I peeled two or three times this summer from bad sunburns, which of course probably contributed to the problem I now face...
^^To SKL, as part of Gen-X or the millenials, whatever I am (born in 1992), I entirely agree with your indictment of societal issues causing the current social crisis so many of us are facing as youth. I never really bought into much of what my generation gets into though... I'm highly critical of modern music and film (there were only two good films this year, only one if you rule out Jurassic World since I'm a fan boy!), I don't have any social media nor a smart phone, I find it disgusting the way everyone my age is so self-absorbed and just stare at their 'smart' phones all day, I find it terrifying that I'm almost 23 and still relying on my folks for financial support... Maybe one in 25 people I meet my age is anything like me, I don't get along with people because I hate what they represent, I hate the way they can't think for themselves, I hate that they listen to music that usually entails lyrics such as, "SCRAW!" or "money money money pussy cocaine" or what-have-you... It all disgusts me... I wish I was born decades earlier... and yet I then meet people older than me who I respect all the way up till the point they say, "Society is trying to destroy Catholicism by forcing us to be homosexuals!" (paraphrasing my father and other middle-aged people I've talked to recently)....
There's no longer any room for science or reason or understanding or respect or acceptance in our society... Everyone hates everyone, and for no god damned reason. I'm terribly frightened of what the future holds for us as humans... No one cares to save the Earth. No one cares to right societal wrongs, no one cares that drug users and homosexuals and minorities are being assaulted by society or that they're treated like second class citizens... There just seems to be no hope.
And that... that is why I struggle so hard to remove myself from nihilistic beliefs... to even conceive of some kind of bright and hopeful future seems ignorant and foolish... and downright naive.
Makes me want to go to the doctor. I don't do that very often. But you could still spend time outside, right? if you wear good sunscreen? It's shitty but worth it to be able to be outside.