☮ Social ☮ [PD Social General Talk Thread] Observation Tank for Fractallized Redundancy Modules

[SONN]

SONN when I was living in PHX I often felt the same deep desire, a need even, to escape. Something about the place is just spiritually dead. Not saying the place is the reason you are feeling it, finding some friends would definitely help! I'll send you some friend suggestions on fb

I feel you on the spiritually dead part, but luckily I ended up finding out about a girls birthday party that I got invited to and it was really cool. Either it was luck or me being so desperate for company that I started asking people from the flagstaff party what they were doing that night. I did some 2fma then I ended up taking some sass while I was there and it was a great combo. There was also a girl there that made kava infused chocolate with like 20 other plants that she claimed synergized with kava. It definitely had an effect, so I'm assuming she's right about at least 1 of those 20 plants synergizing with kava. I was talking to a lot of people about a lot of things very articulately at a party where I knew nobody, and that certainly wouldn't have happened if I went sober or just stoned.

Sorry for filling this thread with negative vibes, my mood started turning around literally about 90 minutes later when I got invited to the party.

bathing in ketamine still sounds nice though lol

lama, things will get better. Sure it seems hopeless at times and you feel like people are kickin ya while you're down but the best thing you can do is try your best to MAKE it better.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

stuff

You're not the only person here who asks themselves stuff like that.

My viewpoint is that people don't make choices and everything is clockwork (scientifically outdated metaphor, but it's the best aesthetically). When I can muster the optimism, I call it Providence, everyone has their place, and the bad times, no matter how long or dark they are, are a necessary part of one's personal development.

 

[SKL]

Maybe I should shut up seeing as my initial post went unanswered, but to be perfectly frank, and with all due respect ...

Now I feel like I just want to abuse anything that will make me feel better.

A few posts down ...

I did some 2fma then I ended up taking some sass while I was there and it was a great combo ... etc

Well, you seem to achieved that goal pretty well.

my mood started turning around literally about 90 minutes later when I got invited to the party.

Well, getting out and meeting people is well and good, has it's own benefits too, and you'd mentioned it as something you wanted to do ... but can you party without drugs? Would you want to? Don't the drugs eventually just make you feel more isolated and depressed than you were to begin with? Wondering if the friendships and connections were authentic, coping with all that as all your receptors deregulate? Because that was always my experience in the end. Take it from someone who's been there, lay off the drugs. For a while. I did, initially I was more depressed for laying off that horrible shit. I had to seek professional help. Finally things began getting better. But if I'd continued on I would be dead or in prison. The drug culture is not the place to seek solace from your loneliness or your demons. The drug culture might have a place for stable people to recreate but that doesn't much sound like you're doing lately, does it?

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Maybe I should shut up seeing as my initial post went unanswered

A post unanswered is not a post unappreciated. Our good PDers take the time to read and consider each others' statements as often as they are sober enough to do so. If you feel you need to add on to your initial comments, you should, people might be diggin' it even if they don't feel the need to say anything about it.

Music time:

 

[SONN]

Well, getting out and meeting people is well and good, has it's own benefits too, and you'd mentioned it as something you wanted to do ... but can you party without drugs? Would you want to? Don't the drugs eventually just make you feel more isolated and depressed than you were to begin with? Wondering if the friendships and connections were authentic, coping with all that as all your receptors deregulate? Because that was always my experience in the end. Take it from someone who's been there, lay off the drugs. For a while. I did, initially I was more depressed for laying off that horrible shit. I had to seek professional help. Finally things began getting better. But if I'd continued on I would be dead or in prison. The drug culture is not the place to seek solace from your loneliness or your demons. The drug culture might have a place for stable people to recreate but that doesn't much sound like you're doing lately, does it?

I can party without drugs, In this situation I did not prefer to. I'll be fine man, I used to feel isolated because I did drugs but not anymore. I have layed off the drugs before, I have gotten professional help before, and I don't do any particularly deadly drugs. I have no idea what you mean by stable people to recreate

I appreciate your concern, SKL, but imo the 2-fma and sass were pretty therapeutic considering it lowered my social inhibitions and caused me to talk about things I typically would have been too socially anxious to talk about in a big party of people I didn't know.

 

[pharmakos]

Pd when do things get any better?
I stop living in addiction and that, and my real problems werent/arent caused by drug use.
I stop using and things dont get any better.

when you started doing drugs, were you using them to escape from some other problems? if so, those other problems are probably still there.

that's what i did. started using drugs to address my apathy and social anxiety. they helped for a bit, now i have apathy, social anxiety, and a drug problem. =p

 

[Just A Guy]

Pd when do things get any better?
I stop living in addiction and that, and my real problems werent/arent caused by drug use.
I stop using and things dont get any better.

Unfortunately, sometimes things can feel worse, for a good while. But, finally, one day, you break through, and a part of you that was sick is healthy again, and you are stronger for it. The folks in SL know a lot of stuff -- come on by and visit -- it's amazing.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

Dudes. Animal Collective is coming to Austin in late April. Oh my dear god, I must go!

 

[Just A Guy]

What a great weekend, and I didn't even experiment with substances!

Spent most of it with the ex-girlfriend, my daughter, and the neighborhood kids. We took a trip out to a state park, had a picnic, played some games, climbed trees, explored the woods, got lost on the way home and found ourselves at a Hindu temple, where we were given a really nice tour by one of the priests.

Sunday was great -- went to Mass and helped serve omelet breakfasts to parishioners. Then I spray painted a 6' x 4' desk surface white and let the kids paint it -- the results were amazing, even if they did use $50 of paint and glitter. lol I had a boatload of fire extinguishers from work, so I invited the neighborhood over for a fire safety course, and all these kids had a fun time (minus the choking and gagging) getting hands on experience putting out fires. Then a trip to the pool, and the dog park, and pizza... man. That's how you enjoy a mid-October mid-80 degrees weekend!

 

[Kaleida]

Hooray for fun sobriety! That sounds like an awesome weekend, Just A Guy. I really wish I could get lost in the woods and wind up at a temple lol. That doesn't seem too likely around here.

 

[Just A Guy]

Oh, we got lost on the rural highways when we found the temple.

 

[Kaleida]

Ah, that still sounds fun hehe. There's really no temples of any sort around here.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Sunday was great -- went to Mass and helped serve omelet breakfasts to parishioners. Then I spray painted a 6' x 4' desk surface white and let the kids paint it -- the results were amazing, even if they did use $50 of paint and glitter. lol I had a boatload of fire extinguishers from work, so I invited the neighborhood over for a fire safety course, and all these kids had a fun time (minus the choking and gagging) getting hands on experience putting out fires. Then a trip to the pool, and the dog park, and pizza... man. That's how you enjoy a mid-October mid-80 degrees weekend!

That sounds like an awesome day.

 

[LSDMDMA&AMP]

Looks like i might be going to jail tonight.
Bye.

 

[SKL]

Good luck. Keep your head up.

 

[Xorkoth]

Oh man, sorry llama, best of luck.

So when I first fixed the hole in my roof I thought I could get away with a simpler patch... but it still leaked. So yesterday I did the whole deal... I went up there, pulled up the shingles and roof felt until I found the edges of the plywood, cut out a square of plywood (they were 4 by 8 feet, so I just found the edges that were nailed into supports, the narrow edge, and carefully cut a 2 foot high section of that out with my circular saw so I didn't have to rip up too much, plus my car wouldn't fit such a large piece of wood as 4 by 8), stuck a new section in there (it fit beautifully), put down new roof felt and new shingles. It rained last night and my work was a success! Feels good to have done it. I found another section that desperately needs fixing, I have an exhaust pipe whose seal has deteriorated and it was letting water in... the area below it is sunken in, almost surely the plywood has rotted away. Hopefully the damage underneath isn't too bad, but I am going to do the same thing for that part.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I have two job interviews today. I didn't think they'd call me back so soon, so I only stopped smoking pot about 4 days ago... God I hope they don't drug test me today, I just need an extra week and I'll be fine!

 

[Bagseed]

really crazy that it's that common for you Americans to get drug tested for jobs. Good luck

 

[Listening]

what's the line between something that's helping you and something that's a vice?

There is no line. If it were obvious, you'd simply make the rational choice that was in your best interest. Alas.

I think self-medication is a dangerous business. I started with the weed several years ago and moved on to psychedelics and dissociatives. Like you, I've noticed that these things can genuinely help! They can also harm! Worst of all, this damn human brain and its fucked-up capactiy for self-deception is unrelenting. In fact, I don't think it's possible for any person to see themselves clearly in the mirror; let alone whilst intoxicated, coming up, or coming down. Someone else who knows a person well, and is wise, may be able to see you, but you can never fully see yourself. Therefore it's easy to get off track, even with the best intentions.

I have no solution to the problem, but if your intentions are pure, if your goal is possible, if your humility is absolute, and if your resolve is honest and unshakable, there is hope for the future. Oh yea, you need lots of patience too. Also luck: try to avoid getting run over by a truck, etc.

So when I first fixed the hole in my roof I thought I could get away with a simpler patch... but it still leaked.

I keep thinking your posts are allegories.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

really crazy that it's that common for you Americans to get drug tested for jobs. Good luck

They don't drug test where you live? The fucked up part is, I was the first of a large group of people they interviewed, I'm eminently qualified for the job, and they offered me my choice of three different positions within the company. And they're starting me at minimum wage for the first month... so they offered me the job and seemed excited to have me on, then said at the very end, "... and you'll start Monday! Pending this drug test that you must take within the next 24 hours!"

They offered me the job and deemed me worthy of working there, picking me out above all the other applicants, and now they're likely to rescind their offer... because I fucking smoke pot!

AGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!