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PAWS is a bitch and I missed you guys

It just dawned upon me how ironic it is how abstinence-only culture stigmatizes relapse when you consider the disservice this very stigma does to the value of promoting abstinence. LOL! :\

Viva la harm reduction! %)
 
FLA said:
In early recovery subconsciously, I knew what I was planning on eventually doing.
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That's a great point. I think almost everyone has a plan to use at some point and under some circumstances in the back of there mind. I think acknowledging that is an important step in getting sober. Like for me if I ever get diagnosed with a fatal disease like cancer I am going on an all out dope run until my veins collapse. For some reason giving my mind that out makes my cravings just a tiny bit less intense.
 
cj said:
That's a great point. I think almost everyone has a plan to use at some point and under some circumstances in the back of there mind. I think acknowledging that is an important step in getting sober. Like for me if I ever get diagnosed with a fatal disease like cancer I am going on an all out dope run until my veins collapse. For some reason giving my mind that out makes my cravings just a tiny bit less intense.
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This is a real thought for me. Hopefully a decade down the line I will have a knee replacement. I want to hold off as long as possible but eventually it will happen. I am about 100% sure if left to my own devices I would not manage my pain meds well.

I managed to get through an appendectomy without opiates as I was on subs at the time and there was no warning. It hurt... a lot... (still didn't come close to the knee pain) All I had was Tylenol and advil to tide me over. It wasn't unbearable but it it wasn't pleasant for 4 days.

When the time comes though, I plan on having someone else manage my pain meds. As long as I stay true to a correct dosing schedule I wouldn't consider it a lapse or relapse. Now if I fuck around and start taking a shit ton, then I would consider it a lapse/relapse.

Hopefully, that's a long ways off. We shall see.
 
cj said:
That's a great point. I think almost everyone has a plan to use at some point and under some circumstances in the back of there mind. I think acknowledging that is an important step in getting sober. Like for me if I ever get diagnosed with a fatal disease like cancer I am going on an all out dope run until my veins collapse. For some reason giving my mind that out makes my cravings just a tiny bit less intense.
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Me too. I mean in AA they are always talking about how so-and-so had cancer and died sober and I'm like, that's nice but so what. No way I'm signing up for that! If I get cancer or some other end-of-life situation I just pray I'm able to get adequate pain relief with my past and how locked down the strong opioids are these days. I'm not saying I want to be unconscious, just comfortable.

My doctor advised me to stop feeling guilty about that opioid hunger that I have. I think the reason she said that is obvious, because it's something beyond my control. That may be where the acceptance comes in.
 
FLA said:
In early recovery, subconsciously at least, I knew what I was planning on eventually doing.
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So very fucking true. It takes a village! I would never have been able to make the progress I have without learning to rely upon the support of trustworthy individuals. As Frost writes, I have miles to go before I sleep ;)

I hope burtie has folks in her life she can depend on when times get tough.
 
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FLA said:
Me too. I mean in AA they are always talking about how so-and-so had cancer and died sober and I'm like, that's nice but so what. No way I'm signing up for that! If I get cancer or some other end-of-life situation I just pray I'm able to get adequate pain relief with my past and how locked down the strong opioids are these days. I'm not saying I want to be unconscious, just comfortable.

My doctor advised me to stop feeling guilty about that opioid hunger that I have. I think the reason she said that is obvious, because it's something beyond my control. That may be where the acceptance comes in.
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Hell Bill Wilson was begging for a drink on his death bed. I was kinda pissed they denied it to him. Another example of putting the program before people.
 
I am just over 30 days since I relapsed too, and I agree paws does seriously suck. I hope you are doing well. I too am going to NA sometimes 4 meetings a day. I just got into the Suboxone clinic and am feeling much better. But enough about me I just wanted to say that I am praying for you ng congratulations, keep up the good work. you can do it.?
 
Just moved from socal to Atlanta area and been real sick. Maybe it's part of being in a new area but the hospitals are no help. Kinda stuck. Best of luck on your journey!
 
London.Blues said:
Just moved from socal to Atlanta area and been real sick. Maybe it's part of being in a new area but the hospitals are no help. Kinda stuck. Best of luck on your journey!
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The south isn't known for its compassion toward addicts. We have a ton of suboxone doctors and methadone clinics though. I heard from someone that Georgia has a good methadone system. Don't quote me on that though because I haven't experienced it myself.
 
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