Lol I love your delusions...
I'm Bi-polar, borderline personality disorder plus a whole bunch of other shit.
What atypical anti psychotics have you tried? Seroquel(quitepine) Zyprexa(olanzapine)? These are very often prescribed and can be purchased cheaply.
Mood stabilisers may also be an option such as lithium or epillem (sodium valproate)
Benzodiazepines I'd steer clear from daily xanax use. I was up to 6mg a day and addicted as hell getting no real positive effects from it anymore, and ended up on a huge concoction of benzo's which has completely ruined my tolerance unless I get something like flunitrazepam or triazolam.