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Offical AUS Stoner Tangent Thread Pt 2 - When Cones Attack!

man, i am sooo pissed off. i just got back from a weekend away in the bush, and, after driving back 350km, only to find out that my mate dropped the cone-piece from 'buddy' when he emptied the water this morning. d'oh! now i have to make a trip into town.
[ 11 November 2002: Message edited by: mr_fluffy ]
 
wooooooo.... ahhh man you guys have just had me larfin very loudly for the last 5 minutes
bloody bewdy with the cockroaches guys!!!!
reminds me of a friend of a friend on the murray at mildura, kicking back with the el fresco bong late one night round the campfire, little heat, little too much alcohol, someone wasnt paying attention to the big hairy huntsman that had decided to bed down for the evening in there!!!
heheheee man that mad me larf too!! somehow he pulled the cone and managed to avoid the 8 legs desperately, frantically trying to escape the smokey furore...he was so pissed he didnt even realise what we were larfin at!!
 
ok... are you ready for this?
IT HAPPENED AGAIN
charging down a fairly smallish cone, and i look down and notice hey, there are antennae down there in the chamber having a wiggle. i thought hey, fuck that, ive had enough, and finish the cone roach and all.
after that i knocked him down and he drowned in filthy filthy bong water.
roaches 1, snrub 1
 
Wouldn't it just be easier to secure yourself a glass bong and not have to verse the cockroaches at all? It sounds like you almost enjoy this mini battle you have going on... ;)
 
So essenstially, we've this huge big fuck off layer of cynisism insulating our awareness of whats going on around us yet facilitates normal bodily functions.
2000 years of history, summed up by throwing a teabag across a room landing up right on the shell of a person on the front of the Yellow Pages 2003 edition (no less) who may be just be the head of a multinational corporation responsible for pumping out the morally degrading filth spewing forth from our fucking televisions; that is summed up by the epitomy of our existance : "CRITTERS 4" and may well be the same woman that thought it was appropriate to sell me PIPE CLEANERS - earlier this morning (12.42am!?!?!?!) -
And another thing... why the fuck are people continually trying to SELL ME SHIT?!?!?!
now?
why?....
.
.
 
I also found the filthy roach in my bong once again.
Although, I caught the filthy little critter before I pulled the cone. I drowned the little mongral, and than flushed him down the dunny.
If he wants a smoke, he can buy his own. I am sick of that little bludger trying to get a free high off my wacky weed.
 
well sir, if you look closely, you will notice that all our bongs have flyscreens on all openings, so no nasty critters can creep in and spoil you entropical experience.
also, we have a quick release cone piece, and five more like it, all loaded in an easy to manipulate quick-charger, so you only have to bother packing at the start of you session.
all of our glass bongs are also equipped with a testing kit that warns you when the water is getting too skanky, and should be changed.
also, all our shotties and mouth pieces have one-way spring-loaded valves, so no valuable smoke is wasted during a coughing fit.
all of our cone pipes come with a conveniently shaped resin scraper also, for those 'rainy' days. and all water is automatically filtered, and all residue conveniently stored for later discarding, or usage, as your needs arise.
with our special mouth-guard attachement, and heat sensitive shottie, you can even pull our bongs one-handed, allowing you to go on with those important 'tasks' and still indulge in your favourite passtime.
and today, i'm able to offer you a special price of..............
:D
 
^^^^ I'll take 6 of them!!!
Do you mail to the country?
These fandangled new gadgets these city folk have....... ;)
[ 20 November 2002: Message edited by: mossy ]
 
i had a classic stoned moment in the local supermarket today.....
josh: hey dude.... pipe cleaners
friend: cool..... should we get some?
josh: why? what on earth would we use them for?
friend: cleaning pipes
josh: holy shit ive never though of that!
....well id only ever used them for making little animals in kindergarden.... bah... im an idiot
[ 20 November 2002: Message edited by: josh_nexus ]
 
Fuck!! I was gonna post something really relevant, and I've been staring at the screen trying to remember what...fuck...
Cone o' clock...
 
^^^
and thats why all real stoners always spray their bong inside out w/insect repellant #:^)
tangent: if you added up all the money you have wasted buying dope, what could you afford to buy?
 
This evening started quite well...
Had some bongs with a friend and was lounge bound for the next couple of hours.
Woke up from the coma and decided to visit the little old lady who sells green to find out she has gone to the club to play the pokies. All I wanted was a bong before bed, so I thought there must be a cone somewhere at home.
Found a couple of satties with crumbs in it and emptied it into the bowl, Even pulled apart the parsley grinder/mull-o-matic and proceded to extract all the goodness from its shiny silver blades and I managed to source one complete cone of uncut green.
Pleased with my findings I took it upon myself to clean my bong with the tried and tested bigtrancer vegetable oil/detergent cleaning combo, until it sparkled like the day it was purchased.
Carefully reassembling it,filling it with water and tuning it to perfection .
Then stupidity got the better of me and I packed it straight into the stem and watched it sink to the bottom of the bong.
*Hangs head in shame *
 
Man, I feel for ya.
That is something I would of done.
When I was stoned.
So, you have no excuse.
 
"when you say tim tams, I think Jim Jams...."
that was the game of the night for Queen Beat and me on saturday night.... oh dear...
 
So were sitting in a friends garden shed and see a huge black spider. Or at least he watched it for 10 minutes, before pointing out it was above my head.
Now hes house sitting, so were in a friends garden shed, decide we need to kill the spider. Wont use a tennis racket to squash it, surely must be some fly spray around (and a lighter, to torch it). So Mr R. is searching around for some fly spray, cant find it, picks up a can of WD-40 instead.
I pick up a bottle of Methylated Spirits, ask him if he wants me to throw it all over the wall of the shed and the spider before we torch it. He thinks im totally serious and starts uncapping the bottle before I point out that would be a bad idea...
So anyway. Mr R now thinks torching it would be bad, so hes just about to cover the spider in WD-40. I asked the though process behind this and apparently it would 'kill the spider'. No... it would just stop it squeaking Mr R.
Apply the lighter, one short burst, Mr R. burns his hand, doesnt even get near the spider and we collapse on the ground in a fit of laughter.
(Note from Jebus: If you want to be thrown head-first back into your acid trip, 2 days later, have some big cones).
 
Ahhh... also. One of my work acquaintences has been a stoner for years, and one of our other friends has just taken up to joining her. So 2 pretty girls, one blonde and one brunette sitting in a shitty little Cortina down a dirt road outside of Werribee.
What are they doing? We'll seems they went out, had a few cones each, and are sitting around with little plastic forks they bought from Bi-Lo and a packet of marshmellows. Cept they are roasting marshmellows, one at a time, on their lighters.
And they've been doing it for about 3 hours inbetween having more cones when we rocked up and found them :P
 
Welly welly Welly
I just got back from amsterdam on friday.
and believe me it lives up to your expectations.
I swear i could spend years just talking shit with all the stoned yanks that we're around.
The weed ranges from good to super psycho, i'm sure i have more to say about the place but i can't remember what it was :D *hyuck*
 
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