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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

NoBENDER - let's keep it going!

I am trying to cut back on buprenorphine usage, and cannabis usage. I have already cut back a lot on cannabis usage. %)

motherofearth said:
Still not w/ you guys :( I'm managing my pain outside of medical/legal parameters.... I can't wait to get back on board though <3
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The important thing is that you want to - you'll be here in no time when your resources and support network and willpower is all in alignment and you're ready for it. :)
 
Congratulations, Opium! Keep it going forward!:)

and Psychlone, glad you found your way here. Relapses happen and every one has a lesson in it. Congrats on day 1 because it is huge just to pick yourself up, dust off and start walking towards your goal again. What triggered the relapse?
 
herbavore said:
Congratulations, Opium! Keep it going forward!:)

and Psychlone, glad you found your way here. Relapses happen and every one has a lesson in it. Congrats on day 1 because it is huge just to pick yourself up, dust off and start walking towards your goal again. What triggered the relapse?
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Thanks herb. To be honest, I'm not sure what triggered the relapse. Maybe convenience, accessibility, boredom, who knows. I just know I saw myself becoming that piece of shit I once was, and quick. In three weeks I reached a level that took 12 years the first time, and it fucking scared me.
 
sounds like an excerpt from the chapter "recovery and relapse" in the basic text. good to have you back on board. I'm coming up on 11 months in 2 weeks :D remember that you're clean date may have changed but the recovery you had doesn't magically go away. get back in the saddle and let's ride out together my man.
 
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^great job, how you feeling now? How's everyone else as well?

i'm now hooked on clonazepam, oh well fuck it, ill taper it off later or just stay on it through school, as it makes me anxious as all hell. This time i won't let it get out of control (said that last time) but i mean it this time.
 
^ Good luck with the clonaz, hope it works like you're planning. Cross your fingers.

One week today - I have completely behaved. Feels like it has been a LOT longer. Days are dragging.

Feels shit to be honest, although I have started reading a lot more...didn't realise how much I missed it. Still going strong, will not fuck up.

Hope everyone else is doing well also.
 
Mel22 said:
^ Good luck with the clonaz, hope it works like you're planning. Cross your fingers.

One week today - I have completely behaved. Feels like it has been a LOT longer. Days are dragging.

Feels shit to be honest, although I have started reading a lot more...didn't realise how much I missed it. Still going strong, will not fuck up.

Hope everyone else is doing well also.
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Commendations to you. I am battling some sinister urges atm.
 
I might be a bit late in the game. But I'm at least partially in. So count me in.

I decided that benzodiazepines, even though I haven't abused them, aren't effectively managing my anxiety anymore. I went on a safe, self taper. My psychiatrist said whatever I wanted to do was OK but to keep the bottle on hand. I've wanted to be off these drugs that affect my memory adversely for a long time.

I feel I'm getting my personality back. I know now how hard these drugs were on my memory. I've had some tummy trouble. No issues with DTs or seizures. My appetite and motivation have mostly returned. I have to take a really tough test for school in mid-December, handle family problems, etc. I wanted to do all of it with a clear mind. I've taken two full practice exams for my final, made only one error. My family and friends have noticed that I'm doing better. My bestie said "whatever it is that you're doing differently, you're so much sweeter than you were before" - perhaps the highest compliment I could be given. My eyes are definitely a bit brighter. Aside from the tummy stuff, so far so good.

So yeah, count me in. My goal is sustained abstinence from benzos. The last time I took half a milligram of Valium was 8 days ago. If this is life without benzos, then I'm all about it. It really can be done.
 
^that is life without benzos, the good part, the bad part is managing your anxiety naturally. In general therapy works well to manage anxiety. benzos mess my memory bad too, i have months and months of no memories or hazy at best memories.
 
How are your NObenders going?

More than half way through here...how bout some updates?

Still going strong here, hope you guys are too.

:)
 
doing well. working out hard 3-4 times a week, eating healthy, and putting on lean mass. about to head to a candle light meeting actually. 12/5 will be 11 months for me.
 
You must have made it past 100 days then this week JJ, right? Good going dude. Serotonin, great work on 11 months. The one year thing must feel tantalisingly close if you're allowing yourself to look that far? ;)

Four months sober for me next Wednesday, then next target is the big push through Xmas to New Year. Gonna be a big test Xmas but I'm kinda looking forward to it, will be really pleased if I get through and pretty sure I will. The determination is there. Odd cravings have reappeared for the first time in a while this week. No biggie though, nowhere near entertaining them and easily dismissed so all good. . :)
 
doing terrible and i know it; guess i don't care right now. Took 10mg clonazepam today, didn't even fuck me up, also took ~350mg codeine, nodded pretty hard twice. I generally feel amazing though, great days, every day, very social, extrovert, things working out really well financially and otherwise but i'm addicted to benzos again, no doubt about it. And opiates keep creeping in.

My life is fucked right now, uncle shot himself, just found out today. I'll probably make a real post later in DS about it all.
 
Ill join for benzos. Better late than never, right? :)

I don't think I'm ready for opiates yet, but I have confidence in myself for getting off benzos.
 
RobotRipping said:
generally better to quit benzos first then quit opiates, much less painful
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I second this. the opis will help with body aches and pains, and sleep disturbances. when I detoxed the first time I was coming off a huge heroin and moderate benzos habit. I did h before I went in but had no benzos and the first day or so was tolerable (dealer was cutting the dope with methadone so the long half life helped a lot). the second day was ok, had a bit a of librium and phenobarb to prevent seizures, day 3 I was dope sick for sure, day 4 benzos withdrawal was pretty much almost over, day 5 benzos withdrawal was done, horrible dope sickness though.
 
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