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dxmmonster i'd be happy to talk with you about social anxiety.. i guess i have the same problem but not sure. what u say? =D
 
Ofcourse levidos! Sounds like a good idea. I think it'l be good for me cause Iv only talked to one person about these issues, and that was because his social anxiety was a lot worse than mine. Tho this is prob not the right thread for this topic.
 
Hi Dxm,

I have social anxiety as well and some depression issues to due to some mistakes in life Ive made and the pressure thats on me now while finding solutions to the consequences of my actions etc.. The social anxiety has always been an issue for me and is why i became addicted to opiates in the first place. I was addicted to oxycontin, vic and perk for a spell. When i first started getting oxys i didnt know i would get physically ill and be unable to function when i didnt have any, when i found that out i ended up detoxing myself off of them and then just allowing myself to have oxys here and there. Im prescribed Vic and Tramadol and never bothered filling the tramadol until about amonth ago. I did find that although taking Tramadol seems to make it impossible to get a buzz off oxy, vic etc for some reason, even after not taking the tramadol for a day or so, that I really prefer the tramadol anyway. I do take more then im prescribed, well im prescribed 2 every 6 hours but i take the whole days worth right when i wake up and i dont recommend this to anyone because of the low overdose threshold and the seizure risk. I have a high tolerance to pain meds though because of my excessive opiate use. I really think Tramadol is the better of two evils to be addicted to, as long as its prescribed since the withdrawals are apparently bad and dangerous. It is still considered non narcotic but i imagine theyll change that eventually. Ive heard of doctors saying its a gateway drug but i cant see it considering the fact its made it impossible for me to get the occasional buzz i wish i could get off other pills. Tramadol really helps me though. It doesnt give that rush in the beginning like other stuff but what it does do is take away all chronic pain, depression and most of my anxiety and make me able to perform better in general. Beforte my pill addiction i was really fine, I had the social anxiety but had gotten to a point where i was handling it without chemicals at all and doing well at work and socially, when i was introduced to pills by a guy who i eventually realized was an ass, who wanted me addicted because he knew I had money, which is the whole reason he was dating me, hes gone now ofcourse, anyway when i started taking them i didnt really realize the withdrawals or the chemical changes it would make in my body and now even after quitting the pills at one point it left me in a strange place mentally. So the tramadol helps me with that without being a narcotic. Is that what its like for you too? Hell the vics I get dont even really do much for me. The tramadol makes everything ok all day long. The other night though I had something weird happen. Thursday morn I had the tramadol and my doc appt was thursday. I got my vic refill and wanted to try and see if I didnt take the Tram if the vic would still give that same buzz.. I liked to get that buzz when I clean the house and stuff.. Well I took alot of them and it didnt really do anything.. Even on Friday when I didnt take any Tramadol, the vic gave me a brief weak rush.. and then Saturday morn i had some and it didnt do anything really.. then I had some Opana from a friend later Saty night, 10mg ones, i railed 4 of them. They did seem to have some effect, woke me up, gave some energy and a little bit of a rush but it wasnt worth it. I decided I am just gonna stick with the Tramadol and when I want to catch my buzz here and there I will just have to find something else that will actually do something. Sorry to ramble on but I read your post about having social anxiety and being addicted to Tramadol and it made me have diahhrrea of the mouth =) Im glad I found this site, where else can you talk about this stuff, aside from AA and NA, but, been there, done that. Its not for me, though I still incorporate some of the things I learned there into my life sicne they make sense and help maintain balance.
 
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Lol, i was just about to start a thread at the dark side, to get some advice on how to controll(yep, not giving it up) my trem habbit.

I loved the stuff, a really good drug in my opinion, and it's helps with the anxiety. But it got out of controll a while ago. Started taking more than 10 50mgs a day. Soon it was 15 and even hit 20(1 gram a day) a couple of times, just trying to max out the effects.

I guess one day I woke up and thought, Shit Im fucked... But not hopeless, cuz I have been through withdrawals once, and know that it's not that bad. Still, after a failed attemp at trying to detox using dxm(great for opiate wds). I'm just hanging in there right now, only have enough for a bout 6-7days. After that I have to wait a month until the next shipment comes.
I now take 5-10 a day just to avoid wds. I get no high anymore, just take them so I can sleep well at night.

My social anxiety is usually masked by a substance. When I go out, I get high b4 going out. Alcohol, ritalin, trams and the dxm once in a while. If I dont have something in me I rarely go out.

I think what I need is a big change in my life(like going to uni in canada), that might sway me off of this dark road.
Thanks for the advice, I hope you stay clear of addiction and wish you the best :). btw try making your sentances shorter. easier to read.
 
Yeah Im bad for run on sentences. I dont know what DXM is and im definately not clear of addiction. The tramadol is is definately going to help keep me away from any other pills since it seems to provide the desired result. I dont get high off it either it just makes me feel better as far as helping the chronic pain as well as the mental issues I have. I have taken that much of it too and I have noticed that really, it doesnt seem to enhance the effects to take more then 4 or 500 mg in a day so I stopped doing that. I am prescribed 140 every 2 weeks and dont want to run out. The other night I dont know what happened but it was strange. It was Sunday morning after not taking it since Thursday since I wanted to take the other stuff. I was laying in bed and whenever I would shut my eyes this really crazy intense something would come over me and my heart was beating irregularly and I had to force myself to open my eyes back up. I started having to breath really fast and I dont know how to describe the rest of it. It wasnt painful but I was scared, thinking I was either about to have a seizure or a stroke or something. At one point it was overtaking me and I thought I was about to die and I started just repeating please god please god i didnt get to say goodbye to my mom please dont let me die. I must of fell asleep at some point, I hadnt slept all night and it was like 8am. I woke back up around noon I think and just had really high anxiety. I figured it was long enough after the other pills so took my 6 Tramadol and a muscle relaxer and have felt back to normal since. I think I might need the Tramadol at this point. My doc prescribes me 6 a day, just not technically all at once.. but 2 every 6 hours does not help my pain.
Im not sure what I think about my tramadol addiction. I have mixed emotions about it. It is making me have no desire to really do any other drugs except occasionally, thats positive. It helps me to feel more normal and content. I used to have overwhelming loneliness and restless anxiety. No Im content doing whatever, working, coming home and working around my house or cleaning my car.. playin video games etc.. Its all positives really. I hope they dont lose effect after time.
 
I wanted to add that it helps me in interacting socially too, Im much more comfortable when im out and about whether im just at the store or out at the bar or something. So I dont know if i want to consider tramadol a bad thing. With other pills i have gotten myself int oa boat load of trouble, mentally and financially where this is making it easier for me to save money and keep things more level. I dont know. Social anxiety is a tough thing and I know for me, I have very few people in my life that Im close with. I have several family members that want to see me fail, maybe because of their own failures, I was raised in a way that set me up for failure but overcame alot of the odds and did alot of things, on my own. I have encountered so many people that just wanted to use me in some way, hurt me and knock me down that it made me ultimately find comfort from myself. Its so hard to find kindred spirit these days. I have so much pent up resentment and anger. Even my family , some of who i work with, we do sales, my Dad owns the biz, constantly try to sabotage me and take credit for my accomplishments, etc. I will never understand why they refused to teach me how to live and want to hold me back. So alot of this stuff causes me alot of internal conflict that seems to be toned down and more manageable with this tramadol that unlike other drugs, isnt causing me any financial problems or guilt.
Anyways. I feel like ive taken a thread that was you asking for advice and gotten greedy and turned the focus on me, sorry for that. Did taking more make the results any different for you? After 8 or 10 they dont seem to make any difference for me. I tested them, some mornings tkaing 6, some 10.. Found no major difference and want them to last so just take the 6, maybe some later in the afternoon if i know im going to be working later or something.
 
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