This is an awesome thread.
Improve my sleeping habits and be in bed by 10pm getting up at 6:30am
Ah, good one. I am up at 630 now after being up an hour and a half. It was actually far easier to get up at 5 this morning to go back to work compared to 10am-noon when I had been getting up while on vacation this past month. I'll be tired tonight but it's so worth it to re-set that cycle. I'm going to try and stick to it on my off days (maybe sleep in until 9 but not noon) and when I take time off working in the future.
I've re-defined some of my goals...
-Build endurance by walking/running the driveway (by "driveway" I mean more of a slippery sloped dirt/rock path that we are sometimes able to use as a driveway in good weather, in bad weather it just becomes a waterfall-but it's pretty steep) at least 5 days a week until I can reach my goal of being able to walk down it and RUN (full strength) back up it at least 5 times. When I can do this I will feel sure I will have the endurance needed to survive the zombie apocolypse or out-run a psycho killer. :D Seriously, imagine how stupid one would feel as they were being chopped in two by a chainsaw maniac just because they ran out of breath at a quarter mile? lol
-Get my body to have more effective sleep. I want deep, healing sleep that does more for me in less of an amount of time. I love sleep and will always try and set aside plenty of time for it, but basically what I want is to get my body so clean and full of energy that the sleep I do get is deeper, AND I want to get over my fear of not getting enough sleep. I've felt imprisoned by time (a big source of my anxiety attacks) for a long while now and I hate it. I want to KNOW that my body is strong and clean enough that I will survive if I only get a few hours sleep one night. I was so ill for so long and so weak that I was mentally trained to fear lack of sleep, as I'd be unable to function on less than 6 hours. And would get sick very easily if my immune system was stressed like that.
I know of a lot of people who, after doing intense diet changes *raw food*, fasts and detoxes now claim that they need far less sleep than before. My body is getting cleaner and stronger feeling by the minute thanks to my diet changes so I have hope this can happen. I also want a much clearer head and very intense, visual dreams and hopefully get more control over lucid dreaming.
-I want to get my period/cycle aligned perfectly with the moon. The cleaner/less stressed I am the more this happens. It's a good tracker for my health. Plus I want to know when my period will arrive and be able to prepare. <-- goes with- I also want to get my body so clean and eat enough alkaline/anti inflammatory stuff that I no longer get any cramps.
-I don't want to let any fear or negativity control my life anymore. As mentioned above I have a huge fear/anxiety attack trigger with TIME. Always feeling like I'm running out of it. Get home from work, late on making dinner... late on finishing dinner, late to bed. Fear not getting enough sleep. Stress makes sleep harder, wake up early the next morning without enough sleep, and immediately fear time again. Going to be late for work. Tired.
^I just can't fucking do it anymore. I refuse to be time's bitch. This is MY life and I am taking back my independence. Every single second of MY life belongs to me.
- To finally have enough faith in myself to go full force with what I want to do for my career. I want to write and it means everything to me. I put a huge amount of my time and effort into my work in the past but at some point, amidst all this depression/anxiety stuff and a million other life problems I stupidly let get in the way, I fell into writers block and stopped for awhile. The longer I stopped pursuing my dream, the more depressed I became. I've learned that as a writer and an artist, I MUST create. I start to rot and die if I don't.
So in 2011, I vow to myself and the world to tell everything that does not matter to fuck off, and focus all of my energy on the things that do matter; my career, my body/mind/spirit, and my cultivating the love I share with the most special people in my life.