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Need support trying to kick dope....I need help

Thanks buddy.... Getting better every day. Tomarrow is 8 days and I look foreword to feeling happy again. And SLEEP!!!!!! Lol
 
Sorry to say man. I picked up a few the other day. Real upset about it. It's a couple days later physically ok just upset. Glad to not have a habit. Really think I need to start hitting meetings harder. I have to do something more. I don't want this to be my life..... And I don't want to have to kick again. Thank u for your support and I'm truly sorry for anyone I've let down
 
You didn't let anyone down including yourself<3 How did it happen? These step back need just to be looked at as learning experiences, so what did you learn from this.. just pick yourself up and dust yourself off... and above all else keep moving forward.
 
Ditto what neversickanymore said. Almost every single person fighting addiction I've ever known who had gone more than 100 days relapsed at least once during the first couple of months. It's part of beating it.

Good for you for getting back on your horse.
 
Thanks guys..... Doin ok. Been a few days. Can't tell if it brought back some symptoms or if it's the neurontin wd alittle. Anyhow gonna hammer meetings this week. I don't want this to become more than it has to be. Also trying to ween down in the neurontin. Nothing's easy. Lol
 
Troublemaker13 said:
Feeling like I just want it to end. Bathing my girl right now and it's so hard to move. Man I love this kid... She's my best little bud and this shit breaks my heart. It's amazing that with all this love I'll still choose dope or pills. No more. Today is almost over. Hopefully get some sleep and tackle a new day tomarrow. I hope I feel alittle better.
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Hey Troublemaker --

I'm right there with you, man. (In fact this post made me cry.) When I'm holding my 3 1/2-year-old in my arms and asking myself how I can choose my drug-of-choice over her -- man, it's like Conan the Barbarian smashing my soul with a warhammer. It hurts so bad... It hurts so bad I've let it become an excuse to keep using.

Those negative emotions? Don't beat yourself up with them. I don't know whether it's safe to ignore them or not. (I'm not clean but I'm trying and I don't have a lot of practice.)

I found this incredible blog post that changed the way I think about my sobriety:

http://guineveregetssober.com/dear-g-am-i-an-addict/

Here's the part that blew me away:

<snip>
Because [parent]hood is damned hard work. And it’s best to do it sober. It is the single thing I wish I could go back and change: I wish I’d been entirely sober for my kid’s childhood.

Please don’t miss your kid’s.
<snip>

You're so incredibly fortunate to have her in your life! Don't use your relationship as a club to beat yourself with.

Good luck. Stay strong. (Please know that a stranger on the Internet, who's trying to get clean, found your post so touching because I have those exact same feelings, too.)
 
Thanks buddy.... Being a parent is a responsibility that we owe ourselves and more importantly our kids. We can do this buddy. I slipped up but holding strong again. Tomarrow morning will be 5 days and as long as I don't pick up I got a shot at being the best father I can. Stay in the fight...and never stop trying.
 
Troublemaker, thank you for sharing your experiences thus far. Today was day 6 of no opiates for me. It's tough, but one of the most rewarding experiences of my life thus far.

You don't know me, but I am so damn proud of you for working your ASS off to beat this addiction. I'm even more proud that you had the courage to admit you slipped up and you've PICKED YOURSELF BACK UP. What an accomplishment that is. Rather than beat yourself up and feel as if you've let yourself down, learn from the experience. You're stronger than ever now, and you've already told us you will never stop trying.

Never stop trying brother. Believe in yourself. All of us here believe in you and are here to support you through this. You have my love and my prayers Troublemaker, you truly do have this man.
 
I have to agree with TryingToGetBetter. You're focus and dedication inspire me to try harder and to focus on what's meaningful.

Once before when I'd been clean for about a week, I had one of the best days of my life. I was awake and aware in a way I couldn't remember being in YEARS. I had energy! I had motivation! A ray of sunlight like that can really help keep you going -- here's hoping you experience a ray or two of your own soon.

Hang in there!!!
 
Thanks fellas... Things are goin well. Been hammering meetings and it's really making things easier. If I don't do something different i can't expect change. Putting down the drugs is one thing. Done it a million times.... But staying off and living life as is....that's where the work begins. Whatever it takes... Daddy is not gonna be sick on Christmas. I thought I was hopeless. Fuck that man ..... Whatever it takes. Be well
 
Troublemaker13 said:
Daddy is not gonna be sick on Christmas. I thought I was hopeless. Fuck that man ..... Whatever it takes. Be well
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This is something I keep telling myself also. No more holidays, birthdays or family events will I spend sick or scared or worried about running out.

If I quit now, my kids won't ever have a clue unless I decide to tell em. If I don't stop now then my oldest is getting to the point she'll start to know .

Keep going strong man. Think about those wonderful gifts you've been given when the doubt creeps in.
 
Troublemaker13 said:
Thanks fellas... Things are goin well. Been hammering meetings and it's really making things easier. If I don't do something different i can't expect change. Putting down the drugs is one thing. Done it a million times.... But staying off and living life as is....that's where the work begins. Whatever it takes... Daddy is not gonna be sick on Christmas. I thought I was hopeless. Fuck that man ..... Whatever it takes. Be well
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I salute you, bro. You are made of steel!
 
Another day....another shot at living right. It's anazing how much even one time can set u back. But I feel pretty good today and more importantly coffee is the only thing i have to have to get moving!!
 
Man update... Fell pretty hard for two weeks. Luckily today is 7 days cold turkey. Thanks for the prior support. Man this paws shit is what gets me. I can muscle through detox.... Even no sleep. It's the other stuff. But I'm ready
 
Awesome tm, you're doing great keep it up!

The paws can definitely be a bitch. We've got a megathread for PAWS if i recall. Biggest things that help are exercise everyday and eating healthy. Stay up man!
 
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