NASADD social v. My moneh big so it's HoL and Skillz and The Rock Monster's birthday

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i'm drunk and just cuz
 
so this bitch that I was talking to randomly went offline...

LIKE FUCK YOU






(ohline)
 
holy shit, my mouse doesn't work. WHAT THE FUCK.
It goes up and doown on the page, but pretty much doesn't go left or right. Takes me about a minute or 2 to get to where I need it to go. It's quicker to hit Tab-->| everywhere about 3 million times. And its a corded laser mouse so I know its not a mechanical thing. Shitty ass stupid fucking technology. MAN I hate technology SO much.
 
Cap'n Jay said:
so this bitch that I was talking to randomly went offline...

LIKE FUCK YOU






(ohline)
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i wasn't sure you were still conscious or not as you had stopped talking and your spelling had greatly deteriorated. :P

RecklessWOT said:
holy shit, my mouse doesn't work. WHAT THE FUCK.
It goes up and doown on the page, but pretty much doesn't go left or right. Takes me about a minute or 2 to get to where I need it to go. It's quicker to hit Tab-->| everywhere about 3 million times. And its a corded laser mouse so I know its not a mechanical thing. Shitty ass stupid fucking technology. MAN I hate technology SO much.
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cool story, bro
 
ohline: you like MMA, do you ever look at ultimate surrender? (its porn btw in case your wondering what im talking about)

fuckin aye yall how you guys been?

dont really have much time cuz i gotta drive out to the bondsman before i go in to work

got arrested AGAIN monday morning. fucking stealing groceries n shit from wal-mart. me and my girl just moved into our new apartment on saturday and after the money to move in and not havin a job (until tues night, which i was lucky enough to get out on time for) i just didnt really have the money for groceries. i mean i had some money i should have spent but that was suppossed to last me till i get this paycheck from my new job in 2 weeks or so. had to use that money to bail me out so now i dont have money for food still and i got another charge

i feel better now that im out but i wanted nothin more then to just end it the other day, but i know i cant. im getting fucked over cuz i always take the easy and selfish ways outta things and i know suicide would be about the same, the easy and selfish way out. sooo im tryin to just fuckin stop bein a puss but stealing was something i did all the time, i mean not from others but from corporations hell yes. and wal-mart of them all, believe it or not i actually told myself that i prob wouldnt get caught stealing from wally world cuz they're an evil corporation that puts plenty of people outta business and they could stand to be takin down a peg or two.

i dunno what im gonna do, i know i just gotta work hard, be thankful i have a job an apartment and a great girl n thats what im tryin to do.

sucks too cuz if it have been under 50$ ida gotten away with a ticket but it was 53 fucking dollars, so i went to jail.

anyways i have been dying to get on BL cuz i dont have internet at the apt yet and wanted to come n check in anyways but yea now i gotta check in with yall with more bad news, also i dont have much time cuz i gotta go see my bondsman before work but if i have time ill be stopping back by my parents house before i go in if im able

yall take care

SKILLZ: i saw your post but dont ahve the time to read it right now, ill get back to ya

later yall
 
HighonLife said:
ohline: you like MMA, do you ever look at ultimate surrender? (its porn btw in case your wondering what im talking about)

fuckin aye yall how you guys been?

dont really have much time cuz i gotta drive out to the bondsman before i go in to work

got arrested AGAIN monday morning. fucking stealing groceries n shit from wal-mart. me and my girl just moved into our new apartment on saturday and after the money to move in and not havin a job (until tues night, which i was lucky enough to get out on time for) i just didnt really have the money for groceries. i mean i had some money i should have spent but that was suppossed to last me till i get this paycheck from my new job in 2 weeks or so. had to use that money to bail me out so now i dont have money for food still and i got another charge

i feel better now that im out but i wanted nothin more then to just end it the other day, but i know i cant. im getting fucked over cuz i always take the easy and selfish ways outta things and i know suicide would be about the same, the easy and selfish way out. sooo im tryin to just fuckin stop bein a puss but stealing was something i did all the time, i mean not from others but from corporations hell yes. and wal-mart of them all, believe it or not i actually told myself that i prob wouldnt get caught stealing from wally world cuz they're an evil corporation that puts plenty of people outta business and they could stand to be takin down a peg or two.

i dunno what im gonna do, i know i just gotta work hard, be thankful i have a job an apartment and a great girl n thats what im tryin to do.

sucks too cuz if it have been under 50$ ida gotten away with a ticket but it was 53 fucking dollars, so i went to jail.

anyways i have been dying to get on BL cuz i dont have internet at the apt yet and wanted to come n check in anyways but yea now i gotta check in with yall with more bad news, also i dont have much time cuz i gotta go see my bondsman before work but if i have time ill be stopping back by my parents house before i go in if im able

yall take care

SKILLZ: i saw your post but dont ahve the time to read it right now, ill get back to ya

later yall
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i've worked for wal-mart before. it's the only job i've ever just straight up walked out of and never looked back.

i'm sorry to hear you got arrested, man. i've been exactly where you are. i'd hit up the trifecta every couple of days (wal-mart, big lots and family dollar) when i was living in florida. those places are typically easy as shit to steal from. it sucks being broke but you gotta eat.

hope this charge doesn't hit you too hard in the long run :/

and lol yeah i've seen "ultimate surrender" quite a few times (and it's really very loosely based in actual MMA). typically the chicks are a little too butch for my liking but when they aren't it gets me right the fuck off.


:D
 
yea, i worked for wal mart like 2-4 years ago, cant really remember, all i remember is i worked there for a month pushing carts (was july in texas btw, and i left as soon as i found another job)
 
Damn HOL your judge is not going to be happy. Not trying to sound like a dick but you might want to start preparing for atleast a 30 day stay.
 
amanda_eats_pandas said:
And Memphis? Also, where to hell has RedLeader disappeared to? Getting clean or something?
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I wish I was getting clean...:\

Haven't been around much lately since this site is a big trigger for me to use, and my H use lately has been way too high. Miss the site, though. Don't know how I feel about the new format, but I'm sure that it was as good as we could get.

Hope everyone's been well lately.
 
MemphisX3 said:
Lol after I had 12 vertebrae fused that's exactly what they did. They knew I had a tolerance and I had spoke to my surgeon about it and he assured me I would get adequate pain relief just that it would not be able to be injected. Well he lied to me and was no where to be found when I was discharged and they tried to send me home with 90 5mg loratabs. I tried to give it back ad told them that wasn't going to cut it butthey wouldn't give me anything else. After a weekend of absolute hell I finally got him to prescribe me something else went to pick up the script and it was 7.5 oxies. I said fuck it and went to slanting those motherfuckers and picking up .10 of h. To me that's just like torture and bullshit, they knew, lied to me and then just didn't care that they had inserted 4 feet of metal in my back and decided that I would have to put up with the pain. I don't know if you have had 13 vertebrae fuses but I'm here to tell you regardless of your tolerance 5mg loratabs WILL NOT CUT IT. I know another guy that had the same surgery I had and had 0 tolerance to opiates and he had the same surgeon as me too and they gave him 30mg oxies. So to me it was like they were punishing me for being an addict and got one of the big reasons I was using (back pain) corrected. We have a fucked up system. I will never trust a doctor again and after today, fuck my surgeon and anyone else who thinks that addicts don't deserve to be pain free.

My surgeons tool x-rays and told men's cross bar in the middle of my back had been displaced and that if the pain continues I will have to be cut open AGAIN and have it corrected and gave me NOTHING for pain, not 1 tab, not 1 oxy not even a fucking tramadol. Told me to take IBprofen. I flat out told him that if I ever became suicidal because of the pain and actuallly went thru with it that I hoped it would haunt him forever and that he was a peice of shit. I'm sorry but fuck the health care system and anyone else who thinks like that. I don't know why I'm mad because I knew it would happen the exact way it did but you know damn well of anyone else not labeled an addict came in with what was going on with me they would have no problem getting whatever the fuck they wanted.

As for the Valium, no he wouldn't give me anything just told me to stat off my feet and take ibuprofen.


Fuck that guy, I hope his children are stricken with the same disease and goes thru the shit
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Goddamn,Memph-I have just now made it to backtrack and find out what's up w/ everyone so I am not the asshole who asks when you have posted it a few pages back. It only takes a fraction of time to go back and read up on on my friends-people I truly care for and have a bond with. you,my friend,are one of them -like it or not. you are right-what you are going through is total bullshit! 5-500 lortabs...wtf??? even if you took a handful and it BARELY eased the pain,the APAP in that is so bad for you. it's like when i went to urgent care last fri for my foot and the fucker wrenched it in all directions while i screamed and cussed the shit out of him. He was sure it was just arthritis but i told him-I WANT X-RAYS! I want to see what the fuck is wrong inside my foot. Then he sees the x-ray and sees a break in a dead bone-i started to ask,what next-do you have a soft cast-all questions about FIXING the problem while i sobbed in pain from what they put me through. Then finally after he basically said-can't do shit for,ya-sorry-i finally said through tears,"can you give me something for pain"(which they ALWAYS HAVE) he said yes-but it would be a small amount-I figured the best I would get was 30 7.5-700 vicoden,right??? the fucker give s me 15 5-500 vicoden-no refill. after he wrenched my foot which was broken and has a dead bone in it. FUCK him-I did like you and traded for other shit-not opes but a big bag o' weed and i take 2 vivoden at a time w/ 2-4mgs of xaxan(dep on the pain) along w/ my neurotin and it at least knocks me the fuck out til i wake w/ a full bladder.

anyway-this is very important for you to know...
there is something called "Patient Abandonment" and it is very illegal. ANY Dr. refusing you the care that you need is against the law. you need to contact an attorney-preferably a friend or someone who will see you for free if it's an initial visit. Don't go to one of these ambulance chasers,find a lawyer who is well versed in medical malpractice or even criminal attorney. IDK what the laws are in Tenn,but I can't see them being much different than SC and GA,which is where my legal battles are taking place. I've been refused proper treatment at MCG(where I was for months when I had my accident and had insurance then-they got paid BIG TIME OFF ME and now the are turning their backs on me) me and both my parents are going on fri and I intend to record-hopefully video the process and if this is a 3rd dismissal we have grounds for a lawsuit. personally,I'd take free surgery and recovery if it will get the dead bone out and fix my leg so that it works.
just check into Patient Abandonment,with a legal expert-do it for me. your use and dependence on opiates should have no bearing on the treatment you receive. if you are in pain-they are bound by law to help you-to give you what you need. bc thay always have the power to dope you down,which they tried to do to me until we reached the point that i could go no lower than perc 5 &at very least lortab 10. I haven't read past this post,as i said i am backtracking to catch up. i'm gonna feel like an asshole if your issues have been resolved,although possible surgery is serious business and I hope you don't have to go under the knife again. I know I don't want to but i am willing to go through the worst of surgeries and PT to fix what is wrong.

sending you much Peace,Love and Healing energy.

I love you ,bro. Hang in there and you know I am here for you ANYTIME!
Keep your chin up..........................love your guts =D ......................skillz<3 <3 <3
 
check the bold names-i included EVERYONE in this thread in my post. love u guys

Fuck..IDK where to start..

HOLI love your guts,bro. thank you for your kind words and for acknowledging my situation-I see now it pales in comparison to what alot of you are going through. I am a little confused about your situation but overall it seems you are fighting the good fight. I know how you feel bout being clean. I've been clean going on a month now-no herb,NO IVing MY ADD meds(that is a big one for me since i was banging around 20 times a day). PM me some time and give me the lowdown so that I am sure I got the whole story. I love you,miss you and am here for you,no matter what is going on IRL for me.

Memphis...also confused about where you are in your injury,possible surgery and your cash situation...I'll reread,but I'd love a quick PM from you when you have time. you know I love you for so many reasons. you helped me toughen up and not let shit get to me-that was a big thing and i am forever grateful. Please keep me posted...it only takes a sec to shoot me a PM w/ minimal details. if i didn't care,I wouldn't be basically begging to hear from you.

ohline you twisted bitch. you empower me in your candid and fowl posts. and yes-jesus does need you,not the other way around. we have spoken recently so i'll keep this short. you always raise my spirits(although i do worry bout you-you know that) and i love you more than words can say.

RWOT fuck that cunt is right...9 out of 10 times. bc if it's me we're talking about,I AM THE EXCEPTION. know you have a bunch of bullshit going on but you can take it. we will catch up soon-shoot me a PM if the notion strikes you and update me on what's up w/ you. would love to hear from you.

AP parking tickets suck!!! especially with the hard work you do in this soul sucking southern heat w/ no overtime. you are strong and I now you will overcome-as far as the tickets...not much experience there. maybe just send them tiny(almost "fuck you " amounts here and there ;) -stick it to them how you can. just be careful you don't get a warrant for them. SC is a fucked up state-the legal system even worse. keep your chin up,though. go hit the bitch and relax(That shit STILL cracks me up!) Love you,bro! here for you any time.

RL damn good to see you around. like i said to HoL,I've been super clean for a month. I know the feeling of wondering if I'll give in to a trigger posting in certain forums. you can always talk to me-and others who are battling the same demons.I won't lie-I did score some herb yest,but i only smoked a little and none today and i've given up the needle for almost a month. feels good to be free of that chain although it still haunts me a bit. if it helps any,I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. H isn't easy to kick. I've been there. and I am here if you ever need to talk. the past is the past. I hope to see you around-esp since i plan to start posting in TDS a bit for more support. PM me anytime. I'm sorry for what you are going though.I am sorry for it ALL. hope to hear from you.

Cap'n Jay that story about getting a ticket and those stupid fucks writing it for Ontario,California almost made me piss my pants.you kill me-especially when you said "I just tossed it". fucking priceless!!!!! love you,girl. despite the past I am always here if you need to talk.

AEPalways good to see you around...question...is your avatar a panda devouring a rainbow or projectile vomiting one??? lol
love you,chick....hope to see you around more-hope i have the strength and ability to say "fuck this pain in my foot and knee" and return to social like the hard core bitch I am. keep your fingers crossed for me <3.

PFF don't know if you are back from vacation but if and when you are,we need to catch up-send a PM when you have time. I want a thorough update of what's going on in your life. we,the bearers of golden vaginas that we wear proudly as badges upon our super hot breasts must stay in touch. Hope you are well

chinkygood to see you man. how are things for you in the windy city. much peace and love...hope you are well

welderman we have spoken a time or 2 in the past so i am sending you a heartfelt"how the fuck are you" in hopes this finds you well. as always w/ much peace and love........................skillz

Thizz Hai back....what's shaking??? ;) much peace and love....skillz

lilczey,sarcophagus.heels,CFilter and Audi0 not sure if we have met formally-or at all,been a rough few months for me and my brain has taken it's toll as well as my body-anyway, I'm skillz...word...:) peace and love!

And last but definitely NOT LEAST......Johnny blue you are the glue that holds us together. always positive,always supportive-always there when we need you. I know you have never failed to be there for me. you do an awesome job as a moderator and you have beyond proven yourself a true and valuable friend. I know I treasure you as a steadfast and true,lifelong friend as I am sure SO many others do as well. Thank you for who you are because you are AMAZING.
I love you dearly,my friend.
as always...MUCH peace and love..................skillz



P.S.if i overlooked someone then i fucking suck. I did my best to triple check everyone who posted here. I have been absent due to my leg and shoulder injuries but it was important for me to let you all know that you have never left my thoughts or my hearts.

I love everyone of you fuckers!!! and i will do my best to NOT be a stranger. my invitation to PM me is extended to anyone who needs to talk or unload and is awaited with baited breath to hear from those of you i specified.

Be safe and STAY safe.
Much peace and love to you all.................................skillz
 
skillz~4~thrillz said:
I just lost a paragraph I was posting and can't find the auto save function. I'm in a lot of pain and don't have it in me to re-type it...basically it is letting you guys know why I haven't been around. You guys are my fav Bl family and I wanted to explain this recent MIA-it's a long post that I have sent to my Smods and admins and posted in other threads so that my fellow Mods and staff are up to date. I love you guys and I intend to be frequenting social-if you all will have me. I've missed you guys so much. Here is what's up. I really need support from you guys...so here it is.I love you guys.




Hey guys...I am so sorry I have not been around to Mod NMI...I have been in and out of the hospital and urgent care clinics over the past 2 weeks. My ankle is fucked.There is a fracture in the bone from the injuries I sustained from my near fatal accident in January 2006 when my ankle was SHATTERED and the bone never healed properly. The news I got today at the urgent care clinic is that the bone is DEAD. I am in shock-I just got back from urgent care where a specialist PA who spent 8 years as a PA to an orthopedic specializing in bone and ankle surgery said if i want to walk on it again then i need to see an orthopedic surgeon and have surgery to remove the dead bone-and prob put bone putty in it like there is in my knee-my knee was slammed into the dash board and they had to put bone putty and 3 titanium screws in it. I was also told my knee is basically filled with broken pieces,bone spurs,ect...


The point I guess I am trying to convey is that I NEED Bluelight. I need the support and I miss what I do so much. I am sorry I have been MIA(it wasn't planned or foreseen)but it has been a long painful 2 weeks. I have to go back to ER next week one day when my mom or dad are off.I have no insurance and am currently in the legal process of appealing the 2nd denial from the state for disability and medicaid, so I have no clue WHEN the surgery will take place-everyone treats you like shit when you don't have insurance.Except for the urgent care that I went to this morning. I have a long history w/ them and they take care of me. Problem is,they can't do more than the X-rays and RX they wrote me today.No worries though-My parents are amazing and they will find a way to make the surgery happen as soon as they can. For now I just have to stay off of it and keep it elevated.It hurts so fucking bad,but I have definitely been through worse. For now I will grin and bear it-something I am quite good at as a result of my accident.
Basically what I've been through the past 2 weeks isn't over for me-I was told this will be something that I will have to accept as a problem that I will live w/ for the rest of my life...could be worse...seriously.
I am exhausted and in pain from a long day of using my cane like a walker bc i am not supposed to walk on my foot AT ALL.I have to crawl to the bathroom and down stairs(when my parents are gone to get a Boost shake which is all I am eating right now for all three meals) and the crawling is making my fucked up knee worse.But I am a fighter and I don't give up.
Not being online for the past 2 weeks has been so lonely. I am now confined to my bed again and have nothing but time to do what I love in NMI. I give you my word I am back and committed,I just need at least tonight,and maybe tomorrow AM to rest.I am in so much pain.They gave me a script for 15 vicoden (wow-15,generous don't you think )which is doing next to nothing-maybe it's bc I have had to be on it so much today and it will help after I have given it a chance to rest,idk-I just know that you guys need me-NMI needs me,and I need all of you. I won't let you down.Actually,I am sure I will be up and down for the rest of the day and night so I may just go hidden and stay online and try to hit the new intro threads during these times. I want to get back to my work here I am just worn out from the day and the news I got.I mean,part of my foot is dead-how freaky is that.I won't lie-I am scared-but I am also determined and that counter acts anything that tries to break me.My spirit may bend but I'll be damned if I will let it break even if parts of my body have.I just wanted you guys to know what's up and that I may have gone MIA but I have no intention of disappearing.
Sorry if this seems a little out of order-I just got back from my therapist's office(which I had to pseudo hobble into with my cane and hopping),I am just a bit out of it and in agony right now.The pain will quell after a bit-not totally,but at least it won't be like it is right now. Hopefully my next post or contact will be a bit more together-for lack of a better word.
I hope you all are well and won't give up on me because I am not giving up on Bluelight or the AMAZING friendships I have made.
I will talk to you guys soon.I love and miss you guys more than words can convey .

much peace and love.............................skillz
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of course we will have you

im soo saddened someone as nice as you has to deal with all the hell you have. and even more so because it is hell you cant control and didnt bring upon yourself (unlike me).

govt services are bullshit, they never wanna help out people who need it, anything to save a buck even though all of us pay more then enough taxes to take care of the unfortunate ones. have you considered a whell chair? it sounds like you might not have many other options. i mean i know u said u will have to deal with this the rest of your life and dont wanna be in a chair for life but perhaps for the time being it might help? i dunno. best to listen to the dr.s, though it sucks you cant see more specialists w/o the insurance.

im always here for any thing you might need. im still kind of in a hurry n have a bit on my mind since reading memphis' post. so ima leave it short for now but i will PM you soon.
 
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