So I started taking oxy again and started planning, and planning and planning for my next J-Day (as I called it, jump-day). The second time around I was far more prepared. I had a friend quitting around the same time who was working with an addiction specialist - he got all the comfort meds - clonodine, seroquel (sp?), Xanax, etc. he got some extra for me so I had those. I had scheduled two weeks off of work and had a "backup" so that I wouldn't come back to work with an overwhelming pile of shit waiting for me this time. I had told my mother who is the one person in my life who I can always be honest with. I thought I was set.
So, I ended up making it 42 days and things were going as well as could be expected. I didn't feel 100% after the 42 days, but that's to be expected - and I honestly had very little cravings/ physical symptoms past PAWS at that point. And then I stumbled upon a HUGE weakness. I hadn't talked to my doctor about my plan to quit, and I let someone in my life talk me into going to my doctor and getting a refill because I "might need it someday" and "you know how hard to come by those are!" So stupid. They aren't actually hard for me to come by because of my medical condition. But I did it...
Then I had a prescription for "just in case." Hahaha - we can see how well that turned out. Jesus, it is embarrassing that I let someone talk me into doing something so stupid. But alas, I can only learn from it and try again. So, as I said, this time I have fixed that issue. I will be proactively discussing this with my doctor so that he knows not to give me any opiate refills after my J-Day.